fire bucky gleason, premature and incorrect edition

I know it's been a while since we've shredded Bucky. Part of it was because the Sabres struggled in their opening round loss to the Bruins, and even though Bucky and his ilk are still very wrong when it comes to hockey analysis, it was tough to defend the Sabres (even though every game was a one-goal affair except for Buffalo's domination in Game Five and the empty net goal in Game Two to make that difference two). Anyways, after a couple weeks of craziness (Trade Connolly! Trade Stafford! Trade Roy! Trade Pominville! It doesn't matter what we get in return!), it's time to try and get reason to reign again (and what I mean is it's time to try, again, to get reason to reign; reason's never reigned in Buffalo when it comes to the Sabres).

This journalistic masterpiece is, ostensibly, not about the Sabres. Or so you think. Read on, you'll see.

michael.w took care of it first, with my comments in italics because I don't highlight my hair.

The deal didn't make sense at the time because it broke Rule No. 1 in "Tricks of the Trade: GM's Guide for Swapping NHL Players." (this sounds like the lamest and least helpful book ever) It states the following: Never, ever, however long you shall live, unload a franchise player unless A) one is coming back in return or B) you're trying to get fired.

Mike O'Connell broke the rule when he traded Joe Thornton on Nov. 30, 2005, which helps explain why the Bruins sent O'Connell packing after the season. Thornton finished the season with the Sharks as the NHL's leading scorer and most valuable player. The Bruins had the fifth-worst record in the league and missed the playoffs.

At least there is acknowledgment that the Bruins GM was fired. Now before you even ask if the trade really benefited both teams, as the headline suggests, I should inject a fact here. The Bruins missed the playoffs not just in the 2005-2006 season, but also the season that followed. In some parts, missing the playoffs two seasons in a row is a mortal sin, and the team's GM sucks.

[Ed's Note: Actually, we should envy the Bruins. They fire their GM after missing the playoffs only once. Also, maybe Mike O'Connell was trying to get fired. You ever think of that, smart guy?]

Thornton was everything the Sharks needed and more over the past five regular seasons, averaging 102 points if you include 23 games he played for the Bruins before making his way to San Jose. He led the league in assists three times and finished with no worse than 86 points in any season during that span.

He also led the league in being tagged with the cliche "can't win in the playoffs."

Boston received Marco Sturm, Brad Stuart and Wayne Primeau in return. The last two were wheeled the following season to Calgary for Andrew Ference and Chuck Kobasew. Sturm has just two playoff goals to show for five years in Boston. Kobasew is gone.

It was a GM not involved in the Thornton deal that made those moves, by the way.

[Ed's Note: Also, all three players were on the roster at the beginning of the 2006-07 season. This is important to note, because during the 2006 offseason, Boston signed Zdeno Chara. So, basically, the three guys that balanced out Thornton were still on the roster when Chara signed.]

So, the Sharks won the deal?

Yes. San Jose has made the playoffs in each of the seasons that Joe Thornton has been on the team. The Bruins have not made the playoffs in each of the seasons since the trade.

Thornton was among the NHL's great players between October and April, one of the great failures in April and May. He had six playoff goals in five postseasons with the Bruins, including 0-0-0, minus-6 over his final seven playoff games for Boston.

Thanks for joining the "Thornton Can't Win in the Playoffs Parade"

Jumbo Joe (Please stop with the nicknames! I am begging. Or at least get it right. He is often referred to as "Big Joe") was pocketing $6.6 million when the swap was completed. He's making $7.2 million now after giving San Jose a hometown discount. He gave them six goals over 41 playoff games in four seasons for a Sharks team that was terrific in the regular season, terrible in the postseason, a reflection of him.

Of course, just a reflection of Thornton. He is the Sharks only player.

[Ed's Note: Much like Tim Connolly, Joe Thornton should use his leadership powers for good and not evil. There were not any other San Jose Sharks capable of offering any kind of compass during the playoffs. They could only turn to Thornton, who so willingly led them off a cliff every time.

Also, shenanigans. Here are Joe Thornton's stat lines from the playoffs for the Sharks...

2005-06: 2-7-9 in 11 games
2006-07: 1-10-11 in 11 games
2007-08: 2-8-10 in 13 games
2008-09: 1-4-5 in 6 games
2009-10 (so far): 3-8-11 in 11 games

So, yes, you are correct by saying that, until this year, he only scored six playoff goals for the Sharks. Which, at first blush, looks like it sucks. But in those 41 playoff games, Thornton happened to have 35 points. Which does not suck. It's not his regular season point per game average, but .85 is nothing to sneeze at. Plus, Thornton is not a goal scorer. His regular season PPG is 1.01, but GPG is .31. His playoff GPG for the Sharks is .17 (or .15 not including this year). So his goal scoring did drop off, significantly (about half). But his PPG is still comparable, bearing in mind these sample sizes aren't huge.

Finally, to pick a random point for comparison, Chris Drury's playoff point per game average over that same span? .76. Joe Thornton is a huge choking bastard, Chris Drury is mega-clutch.]

Boston used the cap space created in the Thornton trade to sign defenseman Zdeno Chara, an eventual Norris Trophy winner.

And missed the playoffs the season after they signed him.

[Ed's Note: Prove this. Sturm, Stuart, and Primeau had an aggregate cap hit (according to nhlscap.com) in 2005-06 of $5.325 million. Thornton's cap hit was $6.67 million (rounded up). So Boston saved about $1.35 million in the deal. Chara's cap hit is $7.5 million. Where the hell did the rest of the cap space come from?

Also, in light of the statistics and cap numbers I've created the "fun with math" tag.]

The Bruins cleared more room to sign Marc Savard, who has averaged more than a point per game since he arrived. The Bruins had the NHL's best record last season.

And this has exactly what to do with the Thornton deal?

OK, so the Bruins won the deal?

No. As stated above, for two straight seasons without "Big Joe," Boston did not make the playoffs. While the Sharks, with him, always did.

Thornton's absence led to the Bruins' misery in 2005-06, but also to fifth overall pick Phil Kessel. He had a team-high 36 goals last season, plus 11 points in 11 playoff games before a second-round knockout.

Soooooooo...... the plan was to trade Thornton, which would necessarily mean the Bruins would suck and therefore they could draft Kessel? Well, at least Kessel is still an instrumental member of the elite Bruins teams.

He was seeking more than $5 million per season last summer, which would have thrown off payroll. GM Peter Chiarelli shipped Kessel to Toronto for two first-round picks in a bold move that was roundly criticized because he unloaded a goal scorer without getting one in return.

Oh.

But now the Bruins own the second pick overall and are certain to land a talented forward in Taylor Hall or Tyler Seguin.

So rely on Toronto sucking. OK, actually not a bad plan. Draft a young player, who may or may not be good. In any event, we now have gotten to a point in Bruin history about 17 steps removed from the Thornton trade. We are basically into one of those ridiculous law school exam questions about causation. Man gets hit by car. Walks away with a sprained ankle. Ankle is further sprained when the man plays softball. He goes to the hospital for treatment and dies because an infected syringe caused a fatal staph infection. Is the driver of the car responsible for the man's death?

[Ed's Note: The Bruins netted Kessel not as a direct result of the Thornton trade. The Bruins sucked in part because Thornton was gone, but Boston didn't receive the fifth pick they used on Kessel from San Jose. Phil Kessel actually has almost nothing to do with Joe Thornton. It'd be like saying Edmonton gets to draft #1 overall right now as a direct result of Buffalo resigning Thomas Vanek. So, to Edmonton Thomas Vanek = Hall or Seguin. Doesn't quite work (although that actually makes MORE sense than Thornton becoming Kessel becoming Hall or Seguin).]

Thornton remained largely invisible in big games, vanishing in the first round against Colorado with no goals and a minus-3 rating. He vacated the perimeter in the second round, showed some vigor and had three goals and eight points in five games while dominating Detroit.

What? San Jose won both series. Who cares?

San Jose has reached the conference finals. Boston can reach the conference finals with a win tonight. Which team ended up better in the Thornton deal remains open to debate, but both had the gumption to build upon a significant move in an effort to win the Stanley Cup.

Actually, it is not open to debate. Thornton yet again is a key cog in the San Jose Sharks top rated team. The Bruins have retained one of the role players who came back in the trade and a new GM made about half a dozen unrelated moves to build the Bruins that we see today.

[Ed's Note: The beauty of not firing off cannons too early... both Boston and San Jose have had their playoff struggles of late. But San Jose has never yielded a 3-0 series lead. Thornton replacement (because of ALL that cap space Boston got) Zdeno Chara has.]

Here's the deal with the Sabres: Tim Connolly, Derek Roy, Thomas Vanek, Jochen Hecht, Jason Pominville, Paul Gaustad, Henrik Tallinder, Toni Lydman, Adam Mair and Ryan Miller remained after Thornton was traded.

Right. None of whom, with the possible exception of Miller, come even close to being on the level of Joe Thornton. Joe Thornton is an elite NHL talent. So is Miller. All of the other players listed are no where close to Joe Thornton.

Daniel Briere, Chris Drury, Maxim Afinogenov, Brian Campbell, Ales Kotalik and J.P. Dumont departed. The return: Tyler Ennis, taken with a pick they obtained for Campbell.

How does that make sense?

It should be noted that Briere, Drury, and Dumont were all obtained by the Sabres via trades that the Sabres clearly won, with the exception of Drury. Briere was obtained for Chris Gratton. Dumont was acquired ALONG WITH Doug Gilmour for Michal Grosek. Drury was obtained for Rhett Warrener. That one was a wash.

[Ed's Note: This is so nonsensical I can't even handle it. Free agency decisions happen. The premise of this column is that bold moves need to be taken. Which suggests that we should have traded Briere or Drury in 2007. Don't get me started on Max/Dumont again. I've been down that road before. Kotalik does not bear any inclusion here whatsoever. The premise of this last Sabres kiss off is faulty. Boston traded Thornton, and have three players on their team now as a result. Boston has won two playoff series (one against Buffalo) in the five seasons including the Thornton trade, and since. Buffalo has won four series in the time, in as many playoff appearances. So, perhaps we shouldn't be worshipping the genius of Mike O'Connell and Peter Chiarelli. Because, in some ways, Mike O'Connell + Peter Chiarelli = 1/2 Darcy Regier.]

fire bucky gleason, quadrennial edition part one

In what is going to become a series, since The Buffalo News Sports Department decided to send Bucky Gleason to Vancouver as its Olympic correspondent. My assumption here is the reasoning behind this is similar to why the Miami Herald sends Dave Barry to various national/international events: namely, they're not looking for actual journalism and reporting, but rather humorous items that are, at a minimum, 75% fabrication.

Bucky didn't waste any time giving us the first gem of his Olympic coverage. In order to set the right tone, I want you to think of two things that cannot possibly be related. Also, should the paths of these things cross, it couldn't possibly be more irrelevant. For example, an archaeological dig and Andy Katzenmoyer. Or, more pointedly, a MENSA meeting and Bucky Gleason. Of course, this is Olympic related. Do you have one? Good. Is it "Joe Biden and ski jumping"? No? Of course it isn't, because you can't possibly ever write anything of meaning or merit involving Joe Biden and ski jumping. Doesn't mean you can't try, I guess.

Joe Biden snaked through the mountains for more than two hours Saturday before taking his place in the bleachers with the common folk watching ski jumping. For a while there, he really did look like a man of the people as he had proclaimed to be for years on the campaign trail.

Joe Biden watched ski jumping? Who cares? I mean, props to him for not forcing his way down front, and VIPing his way into primo seats. But, really, it's ski jumping. Nobody watches ski jumping. I don't think NBC even sent cameras for crying out loud.

It was a nice show of support by the vice president for the Americans,

As opposed to the vice president of the Canadieans, who slaps all his ski jumpers in the face if they finish lower than first.

who need all the help they can get when it comes to ski jumping. The team consists of three ordinary people, working men with whom Biden supposedly could identify. One is a handyman, another a dishwasher and the third an ice cream scooper in the summer.

Are you bracing yourself for a "woe is me" article about the blight of our ski jumpers? Good. Are you also thinking "This is who is ski jumping for us? Hell, I could have a shot in 2014!" even though you basically just finished a tub of processed sodium? Me too.

Of course, it didn’t take long before Biden confirmed he’s no Ordinary Joe after all.

Punny!

He effectively dismissed U.S. jumpers Anders Johnson, Nick Alexander and teenager Peter Frenette after Johnson’s mother, Chris, draped in a U.S. flag, approached Biden about offering a the team few words of encouragement after a tough day.

Did he flip them off or something? Did he slap this guy's Mom?

Rather than take a few minutes for the Americans, he greeted them mostly with indifference and a phony thumbs up. It wasn’t a show of support, just a show. He might as well have told them to take a flying leap.

Wait, don't they take flying leaps? Oh, is this supposed to be another pun? My bad. Also, who cares?? Joe Biden gives a "phony" thumbs up, so we're supposed to get indignant that our ski jumpers are being disrespected? What makes the thumbs up phony? Did you talk to Biden afterward? I'm sure he explained it as "Hey, I was just trying to make them a little happy, because really they sucked so hard I'm going to get Barack to ban ski jumping by executive order as soon as I get back."

Little did he know, the perceived snub had become standard operating procedure when it comes to ski jumping and the government.

If you thought the Joe Biden-ski jumping relationship wasn't tenuous enough already, may I present to you the "American government-ski jumping" relationship.

The United States has an official ski jumping team only when it’s good for the United States, which is every four years when the Winter Olympics roll around. Ski jumping has been discarded by the United States Ski Association. Funding has been cut off along with the U.S. team’s chances of winning.

Shenanigans. Bucky demonstrates just how lousy he is at research. First and foremost, The United States Government is not, in any way, responsible for funding the ski jumping team. Nor should it be. The US Ski and Snowboard Association¹ is responsible for providing the ski jumping team its funding. Not anyone in Washington, DC, nor any state capitol in the land. The USSA is a private not-for-profit organization, and not a governmental agency (you know, much like the USOC). This is as it should be. Our tax dollars have better things to do than make sure our ski jumpers can make ends meet.

"We just need somebody to be confident in us," Johnson said after Switzerland’s Simon Ammann won the event and was awarded the first gold medal in the 2010 Winter Games. "Throw us a bone, you know? Give us something. Every little bit helps. We’re working on fumes right now. A little bit in the tank would go a long way."

First, try being confident in yourselves. Confidence breeds confidence. Second, this may, or may not, sound a lot like a guy who relies on charitable donations to do what he loves most.

By the looks of things, it appears there’s a better chance of throwing the program off a cliff before throwing it a bone. The three Yanks spent years saving their nickels for private coaches, training and equipment while other countries spend millions of dollars on their teams. Austria forked over $500,000 for the team bus alone.

I want to remind everyone here that the US team, as stated above by the man trying to persuade you that our government does not support our ski jumpers enough, consists of three (3!) people. My first question is, why the hell do three people need a $500,000 bus? They should be grateful for a $25,000 conversion van. Second, why the hell would we want to invest public money, in the form of millions of dollars, into something that's going to generate, at best, a dozen jobs?

Funny how they competed in the Normal Hill event Saturday because there’s nothing normal about hauling down a ramp and jumping 105 meters before landing softly at the bottom with style points in between. The aptly named Large Hill allows jumpers to approach nearly 150 meters.

Normal is normal, ski jumper is large, like the hill's name. That sound you hear is the Pulitzer committee Andy Samberging itself while reading this pure gold.

Television does the sport a great service by giving the appearance that jumpers are descending from the heavens — or heading there.

Actually, they fly parallel with the slope of the hill and are only 15 feet above the surface at the highest point. It looks like a blast from the bottom of the hill, but it must be harrowing from the top.

Bucky, ever the persuasive writer, now tries to convince us of the vital importance of ski jumping by telling us.... that it's not nearly as impressive as it is on TV. Smooth.

"It’s pretty indescribable," Johnson said. "The time you spend in the air feels a lot longer than it actually is. It’s a unique feeling. The feeling of flying on your own power is pretty cool."

Johnson now essentially does the exact same thing. Smooth.

The Americans knew long before they landed in gorgeous Whistler Olympic Park that they would be gone in no time, but it didn’t stop them from doing whatever was necessary to get here. They were there for all the right reasons.

As opposed to those sad sack skeleton drivers, who are only in Vancouver to drink heavily, engage in wanton acts of debauchery, and impregnate the locals with absolutely no intention of providing any support later on.

Alexander washes dishes for a living at a restaurant near his home in Lebanon, N.H. He appreciates his job, but you might say he doesn’t get the same adrenaline rush from scrubbing plates than, say, competing in the Olympic Games.

Tear.

"Not quite," he said.

Bucky sets 'em up so his interviewee can knock them down.

Frenette spent the summer scooping ice cream near Lake Placid, probably because he’s not qualified for anything else. He looks like the kid bagging your groceries. He’s counting down the 10 days between today and his 18th birthday, when he’ll be able to vote, drive at night and watch R-rated movies.

He buckled up his skis Saturday morning having exactly zero World Cup points in his career because he had never competed in a major event before. He stood atop the ramp in Whistler Winter Park, took a deep breath and let ’er fly on the only pair of skis he owns. Welcome to the Olympics, kid.

We owe our ski jumping children a better future than this. Please write to your federal, state, and local legislators and tell them to withhold aid to your local school districts and highway departments. Our ski jumpers need an alternate pair of skis.

You weren’t about to hear the youngest male Olympian complaining. People kept asking him for his credentials last week because they couldn’t believe he was a competitor. Nice kid, but it says plenty about the U.S. program when his first big jump comes on the world’s biggest stage.

By "says plenty" here Bucky means "says nothing."

"It’s definitely exciting," Frenette said. "I’m one of the youngest to do it, so that’s good looking forward into my career. It’s like a starting point. Hopefully, I can keep building on this from the Olympics and get better and hopefully be one of the best someday."

Don’t you just adore the innocence of youth?

Not really. Also, what happened to Joe Biden? Is he still a douche? We've kind of moved away from your central thesis here.

The United States hasn’t been close to the podium since the Coolidge Administration.

Wait, they've sucked for a while? Our ski jumpers are like the Detroit Lions? Great. More reason to allocate your tax dollars to their success.

Certainly you remember another Anders, Anders Haugen, finishing fourth in the 1924 Chamonix Games. As the story goes, he picked up the bronze medal about 50 years later when a computing error was uncovered and pushed him into third.

Americans’ lasting memory for years when it came to ski jumping involved a Slovenian, Vink Bogtaj, who tumbled off the ramp and was better known as the "agony of defeat" guy from "Wide World of Sports" in the 1970s.

Which was kind of hilarious.

The United States has been so accustomed to getting buried in ski jumping that defeat is not accompanied with agony but with anticipation.

US Ski Jumping, the L.A. Clippers of the slopes. Support our Skiers!

And to think an American woman, Lindsey Van, owns the record for the longest jump for anyone in Normal Hill. The stuffy International Olympic Committee has refused to accept women’s ski jumping as an Olympic sport. The U.S. men’s program could be headed for extinction.

So now we're supposed to support a sport that only allows men to compete on its grandest stage. We might as well start throwing money at women's baseball and men's softball.

Alexander and Frenette finished tied for 41st on Saturday. Johnson, who helps rehab houses for his father’s property-management company in Park City, Utah, finished in 49th. It was also known as second-last. The odds of them winning a medal were wedged between "a snowball’s chance in hell" and "when pigs fly."

Based on everything you've said so far, I suppose we should be grateful they qualified for the Olympics at all.

But they jumped, anyway, because they had the opportunity. It would have been nice if Biden jumped at the chance to greet them. Give him two thumbs down.

Joe Biden, remember him? He was supposed to be the hook in what turned into a brutal diatribe on the state of American ski jumping, and shame on us for not recognizing the potential of our ski jumping population. Nevermind that Bucky himself essentially did the exact same thing to our curlers less than a week later. However, that column did at least give us this:

"Presumably, you're laughing at me, or crying for me, and wondering what in the world I'm saying. And I have absolutely no idea. Not a clue."

This is probably the most honest and accurate thing Bucky has ever written ever.

Support Our Ski Jumpers!

¹ - Way to whiff on that one, too, monkey.

fire bucky gleason, really really stupid word choice edition

A recent "Inside the NHL" (which, since they let Bucky Gleason write their Inside the NHL commentary, I'm assuming the NHL they're referring to is the one on Bucky's Xbox) chat notwithstanding, Bucky's been pretty quiet. It's been like two weeks since we got anything of any substance, but why nitpick right in the middle of the season right? So, the News really needed somebody to step up in Bucky's apparent absence. Jerry Sullivan said "Hey, nobody's writing anything really dumb about the Sabres lately, so we're running the risk of missing out on our quota." Thus, we get this.

Yikes.

Keep this quiet if you can, and by all means be sure to keep your head up.

This is an article about Tim Connolly, who missed a season due to residual concussion symptoms. Which you apparently imply is his fault for not keeping his head up. Low blow.

We wouldn't want to test the fates. But Tim Connolly has played in 84 consecutive regular-season NHL games.

Which amounts to more than a full season.

This Saturday, it will be one year to the day since Connolly returned to the lineup after recovering from back and rib injuries.

Connolly is healthy and displaying the athletic gifts that have made him at once the most compelling and maddening player in recent Buffalo Sabres history.

What about that makes him maddening? Maddening because his puck possession is almost criminal? Maddening because he generates more points than any other Sabre? Maddening because he spends his down time playing lots of football on Playstation?

He set up the opening goal 23 seconds into Wednesday's 5-3 win over Tampa Bay, extending his point streak to seven games, tying his career high.

So, of late, Connolly's been playing some of the best hockey of his career? Cool.

Which is the real Tim Connolly? The one who failed to score a goal in 24 of 25 games from Halloween until just before Christmas? Or the skilled center with the feathery touch, the guy who was on the verge of stardom until a severe concussion knocked his career off the rails in the 2006 playoffs?

Oh my freaking lord. OK, so Connolly had a pair of goal scoring droughts. But going back to Halloween is shenanigans. Connolly had a four game point streak to start November, with five assists. In fact, in the whole month of November (during which the Sabres were 7-4-2 for crying out loud), Connolly had two goals, nine assists, and eleven points in those thirteen games. Yet, November was a crappy month because he only scored two goals in one game. December was a little rougher, as Connolly was 3-5-8 in 15 games. But again, in those games the Sabres were 9-4-2, so even better than November. Which begs the question, why the hell are we complaining about how often Tim Connolly is scoring goals, when during his suffocating drought the Sabres were 15-9-4 (including the loss on Halloween)?

The Sabres handed him a two-year, $9 million contract extension last March because they felt he could be that dynamic player again. It gets tiresome, waiting for Connolly to deliver on the promise.

You know what gets tiresome? Continually reading about how Sabres' players aren't delivering on their "promise" (which usually means "contract"), when the player currently "not" delivering coincidentally leads the team in assists, points, shares the team lead in goals, and leads all team forwards in plus-minus.

After awhile, it begins to seem like a tease. But this time, perhaps he has squashed the injury bug for good.

Wait, I thought we were talking about how crappy his production is. We were really talking about his injury history, which really is not Tim Connolly's fault at all?

"It's not something I really even think about," Connolly said after the morning skate. "I just go out there one game at a time and try to do what I can to help this team win at both ends of the rink and on special teams."

Nuts to that. You need to score goals sir, regardless of whether or not it means we win.

Connolly, 28, is as creative as they come on the ice, but rarely has anything profound to say off it.

Thereby making him a "hockey player."

He downplayed the notion that regaining his health has made him more willing to venture into the cluttered and combative areas of the ice, where cheap goals are scored and fragile bodies exposed.

Lindy Ruff sat Connolly down during his recent slump and said he needed to go into those "dirty" areas where so much of the scoring is done in today's constricted NHL. Ruff said Connolly has been liberated by a year of good health.

"His game has gotten a lot better the last couple of weeks, and that might be the confidence of being in on a nightly basis and not getting injured," Ruff said.

Based on his injury history, I can understand if Connolly was a little hesitant. Especially in light of his contract. He knows if he goes down there's going to be a huge firestorm because the Sabres misspent their money when they could've have Drury. Or something equally dumb.

Paul Gaustad, who has suffered his share of injuries, agreed.

"I think it's part of getting back from injury," he said. "It's mental as well as physical."

See? Goose agrees with me. And Goose rocks.

Whatever the reason, Connolly is insinuating himself into those dirty areas.

Timeout. "Insinuating"??? Really? That's your word choice? Give Bucky his thesaurus back. Now, I admit some comments managed to show your word choice is, technically, correct. But that doesn't make it right, or (even more so, actually) good. This goes back to a 100 level (in fact, it may have been English 100 in college) course I took. The class was so basic, it didn't actually offer credit towards an English degree. The professor at one point was explaining why word choice was so crucial, and how you can blow it by overthinking. His example? Trying to find a fancy word for "home." He did. It was "domicile." And, by his own admission, it made him look stupid. For instance, compare these two sentences:

-I'm tired, and I really just want to go home.
-I'm tired, and I really just want to go to my domicile.

Both are correct. Both say the same thing. One makes you sound like an arrogant pompous bag of hot wind, and one makes you a normal American English speaking human person.

So, since your editor has once again failed us (and if it weren't for the coupons, I wouldn't even subscribe to the Sunday edition of the paper), I will have to fix this sentence to make it appropriate for the tone of the column, and what you're actually trying to say:
"Whatever the reason, Connolly is insinuating himself willing to go into those dirty areas."

There. Much better.

He had a couple of tipped goals. He took a hit along the boards to set up the tying goal against Atlanta. He's shooting more. Connolly had 31 shots on goal in a 13-game goal-less skid. He had 23 shots in his next six games and a point in each.

It took just 23 seconds for Connolly to extend his scoring streak to seven games. He won a faceoff back to rookie Tyler Myers, who wired it home for his fourth goal. Connolly's line made it 2-0 just 49 seconds later on a goal by Jochen Hecht.

You're insinuating that Connolly has been playing well of late, or at least that's the inference I draw based on the implication here.

Connolly is the leading scorer and No. 1 center on a division leader. Still, he wasn't seriously considered for the U.S. Olympic team.

Perhaps because the U.S. Olympic Team appears to have been selected by Bucky Gleason. Which, if true, means Connolly stood absolutely no chance.

That says something about his reputation around the league. Evidently, U.S. General Manager Brian Burke didn't have faith that the "real" Connolly would show up in Vancouver.

I'm actually still kind of confused, based on what you've said so far, as to who the "real" Connolly is. You've insinuated that both the injury and scoring drought prone center not worth his contract and the brilliant, creative on ice presence are both valid iterations of the "real" Connolly. And yet, you haven't insinuated which is the preferred iteration.

"They had tough decisions to make," Connolly said. "There's a lot of good players out there,

Unfortunately, most of them are Canadian.

and you've got to build a proper team that they wanted to build. They decided not to take me, and that's all right. I'll cheer [Ryan Miller] now."

It has to sting, though. Connolly has a way of responding to public slights.

Is this why you and Bucky are constantly insinuating, or (on occasion) stating outright, that Tim Connolly is a lousy, good-for-nothing piece of glass that should totally be somebody else's problem for $4.5 million a year? Because you're hoping the public slights insinuate him to play better and produce more?

It could be the Olympic snub inspired him to take his game to a more physically responsible level.

Untrue and impossible. This is not an insinuation, rather an outright statement. But, Connolly's point streak started on December 23rd¹, more than a week before the U.S. Olympic Team was named. From December 23rd to December 29th (the games before the team selections were revealed) Connolly was 3-3-6 and +4 in four games. Pretty good run. Now, he did elevate his game starting on January 1st, after the team announcement (2-5-7, +6 in four games, meaning during his eight game point streak Connolly is 5-8-13 and +10). But he apparently started insinuating himself into the dirty areas to generate more scoring before his "public slight."

Come playoffs, maybe he'll approach his level of '06 and make Burke regret leaving him off the team.

I hope so. If he plays the way Miller did in 2006 after getting foolishly left of the Turin Olympic roster we could make a hell of a playoff run (provided Ryan Miller doesn't self-destruct from overuse).

If Connolly stays healthy, that is. As Ruff said Wednesday, knock on wood.

Come on, low blow. It's hockey, everybody gets injured. You can say that about any player at any time. Crosby, Ovechkin, Connolly, Miller, Brodeur, whomever. Joe Sakic injured himself snowblowing his driveway for crying out loud. Why not, for a change, just enjoy the ride and hope it works out? The Stanley Cup, more often than not, doesn't go to the "best" team. Rather, it goes to the team that makes the playoffs, dodges poor luck with injuries, and manages to string together 16 wins. It isn't easy. Just ask Marian Hossa.

I suppose I should just be grateful that the local hacks are finally conceding that this team is going to make the playoffs. Despite not having playoff talent, so bully for us.

¹ - With a goal!

fire bucky gleason, total amnesia edition

We've documented here at FBG what can best be termed as a remarkable, and total, lack of any kind of memory about anything Bucky's ever written. In his mind, I doubt he ever contradicts himself. For my world to make sense, I believe that Bucky suffers from the same condition Drew Berrymore had in 50 First Dates. He was in some sort of severe car accident in mid-July of 2007, and can't remember anything from that point on except for today. It would explain why we keep getting the same crap over and over.

Well, except for this, which is probably the closest thing to mea culpa we'll ever get. So I suppose we should appreciate it. michael.w guest posts again. My comments are limited, because I still can't comprehend a complete change of tune like this.

Craig Rivet spent 12-plus seasons in Montreal, more than enough to learn the terrain in the Land of Les Habitants. They appreciated him there for the same reasons he was quickly embraced as captain of the Sabres. Rivet was a good player who provided an honest effort and earned his keep.

"Land of Les Habitants?" Stop it. Please. [Ed's Note: plaschke-nanigans. If you're going to guest post, at least use the lingo.] But it is nice to read that Rivet was appreciated in Montreal for cliched reasons like "effort" and "earning his keep", just like Sabres fans. What they didn't like his "leadership" and what he "brought to the dressing room?"

It's enough to keep critics at a distance, but Rivet found himself in a heap of trouble one year when he ripped Canadiens fans for booing Patrice Brisebois without just cause.

But since they loved him and all his effort and keep earning, the fans were certainly forgiving. That is the impression I get from the paragraph above.

The sentence handed down in the Court of Public Opinion: Rivet was booed every time he touched the puck for the final 10 home games.

Oh.

Six seasons and two teams later, Rivet still hasn't been forgiven in the birthplace of hockey.

"To this day," Rivet said, "I still get booed when I go to Montreal."

So much for his effort.

It's a different animal, Montreal, where rich tradition and passionate fan base are accompanied by intense anger and little patience during seasons like this one. The Habs have won 23 Stanley Cups, none since 1992-93. It marks the longest drought in their storied history. Rivet's biggest crime is being part of their failed past.

Actually they've won 24. It took me ten seconds to verify that. It must be nice to have no professional standards. But at least this minor oversight will be the only problem with this article.

[Ed's Note: Not for nothing, but it appears that Bucky is slamming Habs' fans for a lack of patience. If that's the case, what's his excuse for his attitude towards the Sabres right now? Especially since the "biggest crimes" for most of his whipping posts are really nothing more than "playing for the Sabres."]

With that in mind, you can only imagine how the Canadiens are going over these days. The Habs didn't just lose, 6-2, to the Sabres on Thursday night in HSBC Arena. They were utterly lost for half the game en route to their fourth straight defeat. They showed up for the third period, but it was about two hours too late.

This is not just directed at Bucky, but at EVERY sports analyst. Can we stop with the "show up" and "didn't show up" cliche? Please. The Canadiens showed up. There were several men in Montreal uniforms taking turns on the ice for the first two periods. They just played like crap.

Is this really what their fans wanted? Remember, they pleaded for major changes, and that's what they received. Now, they're stuck with a confused team that has less chemistry than Tiger and Elin.

Yes. This is what the fans wanted. A team that plays like crap. All fans want that. You know what? Miami plays New England Sunday. As a Miami fan, I want them to lose 55 - 0. And I refuse to address the Tiger and Elin reference. It would take too long.

"There's such ultimate pressure to be a great hockey team," Rivet said. "It's not normal like with other teams. It's the Yankees, but the Yankees have the ability to spend as much money as they want to get the best players. In our [salary cap] system, Montreal would be doing it but they can't. So you have to be smart in how you manage the team."

Good point by Rivet about how one must be smart in managing the team. Also, I like Rivet a lot, so I will not get into his misguided comparison to the Yankees. Also, Rivet could, in all likelihood, whip my ass.

General Manager Bob Gainey didn't manage his team. He mismanaged his roster after caving to public pressure. He made the same mistake fans have made for years. He misread the situation and overreacted.

He replaced 13 players when a half-dozen good moves would have been fine.

Hmmm. I remember reading somewhere that the Montreal offseason was a good one. Going so far as to compliment them for be willing to overhaul the roster when something went wrong.

The Habs aren't any bigger or any better. They're just different. Scott Gomez, who scored his third goal Thursday, has 12 points to show for his $8 million salary. Veteran free-agent defenseman Paul Mara is minus-12.

Wow, three goals for Scott Gomez. Puts him exactly one ahead of former Ranger teamate, and the currently equally massively overpaid Chris Drury.

If you're a Sabres' fan, you should appreciate management's decision to take the opposite approach after Buffalo missed the postseason for the second straight season. Fans here were calling for many of the same changes they wanted in Montreal. Fire the coach, dump the GM, unload underachieving superstars, change for the sake of change.

I want to point out, that in a summer diatribe, the Sabres fans were not to appreciate the Sabres management did over the summer. It's in the link above.

Yes, this time doing little or nothing was the right approach. Need evidence? Buffalo had a 3-0 lead in the first nine minutes on goals from Clarke MacArthur, Jason Pominville and Derek Roy — three forwards who have been groomed in Buffalo's system. Each was the result of them properly reading the play and one another.

Nice way to avoid mentioning that Thomas Vanek had three assists in the game, who interestingly enough was also groomed in Buffalo's system. But more shocking is that no mention was made that Tim Kennedy scored a goal. Good restraint.

The Canadiens, meanwhile, weren't sure what they were doing or where they were going. By the looks of things, they're not going anywhere. They're home tonight to officially celebrate their 100-year anniversary with a game against Boston. Their fans will be there waiting for them.

So to conclude, I will call this Bucky's best column ever, despite the shameless 180 and factual issues. He was able to write a full column, and get through it without mentioning any of the following:

- God....errr....Chris Drury
- Tim Kennedy (I have to assume Bucky hears this when he sees Tim Kennedy
- How much Tim Connolly sucks
- [Ed's Note: how much Darcy Regier sucks]
- Why the Sabres should bring Biron back

Impressive work Mr. Gleason.

fire bucky gleason, bucky continues to write stupid things edition

Bucky's constant contradiction is one of the main things that drives me crazy about the fact that he has a job writing about sports. Sportswriters appear to have the free reign of meteorologists: say whatever the hell you want, because just about everybody expects you to be wrong. So, after the colossally dumb love letter to Tim Kennedy, Bucky decides to give us what appears to be a simple lame excuse to slam the Sabres he doesn't like.¹

I only extracted the Sabres portion of Bucky's "Inside the NHL," which could qualify as a smorgasbord. But I don't feel like trying to figure out how dumb Bucky is when he talks about other teams. So this is it for now. I'm sure we'll get plenty more stupidity before the week is out.

You've heard the rhetoric numerous times over the past two-plus years, how the talent is there even when the goals are not,

Maybe because the talent is there, they've just been trying to develop their own identity after the team decided to invest in its youth instead of overpaying aging veterans with deteriorating skills. Maybe?

how every player endures scoring droughts, how they squeeze their sticks before eventually coming around.

Actually, I haven't heard this rhetoric numerous times. In fact, Lindy doesn't really hesitate to call his guys out when he feels like he has to. You know where I have heard this rhetoric though? In the Buffalo News. From you. Remember? When you said it was OK for Tim Kennedy to not score goals because he was on a defensive line that was very good at preventing them and preventing goals is just as important as scoring them? Do you remember that?

Zzzzzzzz. Say it often enough and long enough, and it eventually becomes the truth.

Hmm. Apparently not.

But it wasn't a good sign when Blackhawks grunt Dustin Byfuglien had eight goals, one more than Thomas Vanek had, going into the weekend. Or that Islanders rookie John Tavares, Blue Jackets plumber Raffi Torres and, yes, Thrashers winger Maxim Afinogenov each had nine — the same number that Derek Roy and Jason Pominville had combined.

Alright, if we're playing this game, Thomas Vanek has as many goals as Alex Kotalik and Chris Drury combined. Vanek is also currently has more goals than Joe Thornton and Shane Doan. And Alexander Frolov. Also, you are never allowed to complain about Maxim Afinogenov's production at any point from now until the end of all time.

Yikes.

What's with the "yikes"? Did you finish writing that last paragraph and then realize "Hey, it's really stupid comparing scoring paces 25 games into the season?" You did? Awesome! Progress!

The Sabres have $22.7 million locked into their five-highest paid forwards and through the first 22 games this season they combined for a grand total of 24 goals. It's not exactly the bargain they had in mind for Black Friday.

That's not a pretty hard cap hit, considering what other teams are blowing on their five highest paid forwards. I assume that's the bargain you're talking about, right? Because otherwise I don't understand the Black Friday reference. Once again, the Sabres won on Black Friday. Four goals. Against the Flyers.

In a financial sense, their best players have been their worst.

If that's the case, Montreal and the Rangers (but for Marian Gaborik, whose groin is due to explode any day now) have much worse "best" players.

It needs to change for the playoffs — which bounce from a given one week to a fantasy the next — to remain in reach.

Shenanigans. At no point were the Sabres out of playoff position, even during their absolutely "horrendous" 0-3-1 stretch. Not only do the playoffs remain very much in reach, but if the Sabres simply continue their pace from November they should do no worse than the sixth seed. Perhaps a few crude projections will shed some light here. Buffalo was 7-5-1 in November. Respectable, but by no means torrid. They finished the month with 32 points, and sole possession of the Northeast Division lead. Now, if they maintain that 7-5-1 pace, that projects out to approximately 98 points for the season. Solidly within any playoff bracket. If Buffalo manages to up their pace by one more point (7-4-2 instead of 7-5-1), we're looking at approximately 103 points, or a likely fourth seed. Is this an exact science? No. Can things change? Absolutely. But even with Buffalo's "terrible" week in November which caused you to immediately doubt their ability to play hockey at any kind of professional level ever again (because you're stupid), Buffalo maintained a very strong playoff pace. Got it? Good.

Vanek is making $6.4 million this season, which is $1.6 million less than he was pocketing in the front-loaded $50 million deal he signed while pointing the proverbial tommy gun at the Sabres' collective temple.

This is actually good news. Vanek's cap hit is still pretty high, but now that his actual salary is coming down, we have the opportunity to invest in some young talent, or perhaps give another front loaded contract to a free agent this offseason. Don't forget Chicago's going to have to have a huge firesale to clear space for the players they were supposed to sign weeks ago but still haven't re-upped.

Whether he's injured or disinterested, the pop has been missing almost all season.

But, he leads the team in goals. Does that count for anything?

Tim Connolly

I guess not, since we simply moved in to start whipping Bucky's Least Favorite Sabre.

is making $4.5 million this season, a $1 million raise per year after appearing in about one-third of the games under his previous contract.

A fair criticism. Now, I'm sure you'll point out that Connolly has been in the lineup for each and every single Sabres game this season.

The Sabres insisted he was their guy. But, really, he's the same player who has possessed great talent and produced mediocre results.

Or ignore that fact entirely. He is the Sabres' guy. And is turning into a pretty wise investment, as he leads the team is assists and points. And is scoring at a pace just off a point per game. So, really, I'm looking for the mediocre results of which you speak.

Connolly had one goal in 16 games before his best performance of the season, two goals and two assists against Philadelphia.

During that 16 game stretch, Tim Kennedy had no goals. In fact, up through Philadelphia, Tim Kennedy only had one goal in 22 games. Why the double standard?

OK, so he improved to three goals in 17 games.

By comparison, Tim Kennedy² now has two goals in 24 games. Again, I'm waiting for the explanation of the double standard. Is it based on Connolly's salary? His experience? What? All I know is we're supposed to love Tim Kennedy, who scores at a much slower rate than Tim Connolly, who leads the team in points. I haven't been given a single valid reason for this yet, sir.

He's had his usual flashes of brilliance, confirming he's able but not always willing.

His brilliance is only flashing? What? And his inconsistent goal scoring (which is a far cry from his markedly consistent point production, which means Connolly is helping generate goals, which is kind of important in terms of playing successful hockey I hear) "confirms" he's not willing to play well? Do me a favor. Start reading your columns out loud before submitting them. Maybe then you'll realize how dumb this all sounds. We certainly can't rely on your editor.

Pominville is pocketing Connolly money, getting Clarke MacArthur results.

MacArthur's playing pretty well this season.

Last season was dismissed as a poor year from a good player, but this year has been much the same. In part, his production (five goals) was down because the Sabres lack a power-play quarterback, taking him from the wing. It's also because he's been spending too much time on the perimeter at even strength.

Is this his fault? Or is Lindy not putting Pommers in a position to be successful? Both are equally plausible explanations, yet I have to guess which it is. Thanks.

Jochen Hecht

Oh god...

is making $3.8 million and had four points, putting him on pace for seven goals and 15 points, while averaging more than 16 minutes. Nobody on the team who has played every game has fewer points.

You know who on the team has played the same number of games as Hecht and produced the exact same number of points with half the goals? I'll give you a hint. It rhymes with "Shim Shmennedy." Who, I might add, skates on Hecht's line. Which I was told is not designed to score goals, but rather prevent them. Seeing how the Sabres currently lead the league in goals against, apparently Hecht is playing his role to a T.

Roy, making $3.5 million, needed 11 games to score his first goal, buried four goals in his next five games, fell silent for the next six.

I'm confused. Doesn't this actually prove the exact thesis you present in the opening paragraph? The one you didn't really dispute, but hung out there as a pathetic excuse? Even though you relied on it yourself not two weeks ago?

It's one thing to make big money, another thing to earn it.

This is surprisingly apt. It's one thing to make big money (or whatever money, hopefully it isn't big) writing about sports professionally. It's another thing to earn it by being reliable, accurate, and consistent.

¹ - "The Sabres he doesn't like" obviously consists of all the Sabres except for Tyler Myers, Tim Kennedy, and Patrick Kaleta.

² - I feel like at this point I need another disclaimer. I am actually a Sabres fan. When I follow my sports teams, I prefer to be a bit childlike in that I'll like the guy simply for putting on a Sabres' sweater. I like Kennedy. I know he's young. He's getting some good reviews, but also going through some growing pains. Same goes for Tyler Myers (a team leader in ice time, generating a lot of points from the blue line; embarrassing mistakes like essentially giving Max Afinogenov and Matt Cullen free goals). I'm excited about these guys. But I'm also excited about all the Sabres, including Tim Connolly, who I consider to actually be quite amazing, especially when he gets the puck (one of the "brilliant flashes" was when he froze two Panthers in their skates and then skated through two more during their 6-2 loss--such a hockey play should be criminal). It just happens to be that Bucky is so wildly inconsistent in his analysis, without ever giving any kind of reason, that it drives me crazy. So, unfortunately, Tim Kennedy becomes my whipping boy because we're told to love what he does, which isn't very much when juxtaposed with what the other guys are doing. OK, I feel better.

smorgasbord!

Been a while since I've been able to pull out the smorgasbord tag, as we've mostly had to suffer hockey (with occasional football) commentary. For the past few months I've been suffering. It's been pure agony, wondering "Well, yeah, the Sabres are lousy good lousy good, but what does Bucky think about College Basketball and NASCAR??" Thankfully, he finally scratched that itch. And we all reap the benefits.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying the mental image I have of Bucky watching Tim Connolly hang four points on the board today (including two goals!).

michael.w got to it first, so I added my comments in italics, because they're more important.

Mike Shanahan is taking his time before deciding whether his next coaching job will be in Buffalo, which is good news for the Bills. Shanahan could be stalling while waiting for a better opportunity, but he's also doing a favor for the Bills by giving them extra time to decide if he's the right guy for them.

He's also aware that come early January, there will be about a half a dozen open NFL coaching football positions, as is always the case. Wait, I am breaking down football. Let me rephrase: Come January there will be about half a dozen open coaching positions in the NATIONAL!!!! FOOTBALL!!!! LEAGUE!!!! (That's how you have to say it apparently) [Ed's Note: only if you're Ron Jaworski. One thing we do need to eliminate from the football vernacular is "hat on a hat." You're not bringing us on the inside. You sound stupid.]

But I digress, why should Shanahan take the first offer when several will be available. He could use this as leverage. [Ed's Note: "Leverage" is something everybody needs to keep in mind when they say "Drury and Briere would've stayed in Buffalo for less if only the Sabres negotiated sooner." Which is stupid. If the Sabres offered Drury $25 million for five years, Drury knows his baseline. He can negotiate freely, knowing that's as low as he'll have to go. There's more, but I'm tired and we need to get to more stupid suggestions for the Bills' front office.]

Just about anybody would be an upgrade over Dick Jauron,

Really? How about me?

so it's easy for desperate fans to get excited about a big-name replacement who showed enough interest in Buffalo to have so-called discovery talks. But the Bills just might discover a better candidate.

Nice word play. But I have to call shenanigans. Please cite the movie "Fracture." I am pretty sure that's from where Bucky discovered the discovery/discover word play. Sorry, I did too.

The Bills shouldn't give up in their pursuit of Bill Cowher,

Did anyone say they did?

who said he wasn't yet interested in interviews with teams. It could be interpreted in a few different ways, but it didn't sound like he was slamming the door on Buffalo so much as concentrating on his duties with CBS until after the season.

Seems reasonable. [Ed's Note: Because he probably knows that he can wait as long as he wants. And why take a crappy job for a team that has only about three NFL players and a front office nightmare?]

If that's the case, the Bills should admire him even more for properly handling the situation. Cowher was refusing to compromise his current job by focusing his time and energy elsewhere. That's the kind of person they should want running football operations, including coaching.

Really? He is qualified to be the head coach because he pulled the line that, I don't know, EVERY OTHER PERSON uses in a similar situation? Great, thanks for that. Ignore that Cowher successfully navigated the Steelers through numerous salary cap casualties, crappy quarterbacks and consistently got them deep into the playofffs. That's why I would be interested in him. Not because he readily spews pre-package PR crap. But at least Bucky cannot come up with any other meaningless reasons to hire Cowher.

Shanahan could be a fit, but Cowher would be a better one. He's a Pittsburgh guy, and he understands the charm that comes with a hard-working, passionate football town.

I spoke too soon. [Ed's Note: Stupid. Also, I love how Pittsburgh and Buffalo are the only hard-working, passionate football towns in the country. Shanahan can't possibly understand that after coaching in Denver, where everybody's lazy, apathetic and only follow curling.]

Show him the same enthusiasm he expects from his players, give him power over all personnel decisions, plus $10 million for the effort, and you just might land him.

So long as no one offers him say, $11 million.

Syracuse has made the transition look easy after losing its top three scorers in Niagara Falls products Jonny Flynn and Paul Harris and shooter Eric Devendorf. The previously unranked Orange (5-0) soared to No. 10 in this week's AP top 25 poll after hammering California and North Carolina last week.

Syracuse native Brandon Triche, whose uncle Howard played for SU back in the 1980s, could evolve into one of the nation's top freshmen. SU should be 8-0 going into Florida on Dec. 10 and has enough talent to contend in the Big East. They would have been among the early favorites for an NCAA title had the aforementioned three stuck around.

This paragraph is entered solely to demonstrate Bucky's knowledge that Flynn and Harris are from Niagara Falls, and that Triche is from Syracuse and has an uncle that played at SU. [Ed's Note: This is also really poorly written. The way it's set up, "shooter" is supposed to separate Eric Devendorf from Niagara Falls (where I believe he's not from), but he gets lumped in with Flynn and Harris.]

Obviously, my decision to stagger through a 5K a few years ago still inspires Maura Frauenhofer, the women's winner of the Turkey Trot. Yes, I'm kidding. In the interest of full disclosure, she's my niece.

For the first time in the history of Bucky Gleason columns, we get full disclosure.

Jimmie Johnson made history when he won his fourth straight NASCAR title, but talk about him being the best driver ever is premature if not grossly inaccurate. Johnson is a great driver and a prince, but he's basically the quarterback for the best team. The emphasis was greater on the driver years ago. And that's why Richard Petty remains the king.

Yes, the quarterback of the best team never, ever has been considered the best ever in football. I mean no one has ever asserted that Joe Montana, Terry Bradshaw, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady are the best... What?... You mean they have?? My bad. And do we have to compare everything in sports to the quarterback?

Can we agree that Dale Earnhardt Jr. has run out of excuses? He changed teams, crew chiefs and sponsors, and the results have been worse. He has one victory over the past three seasons, hasn't won twice in the same year since 2004 and was 25th in the standings this year.

Especially since Jimmie Johnson keeps winning. Plus I read somewhere that the team surrounding a NASCAR driver is quite important. In fact, the driver was compared to the quarterback in football. Perhaps using that analogy, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. is a very good to great quarterback on a dreadfully bad team. For example, Steve Young in Tampa vs. Steve Young in San Francisco. I cannot remember where I read this driver to quarterback comparison. I mean, I know I read it, who... Oh yeah, its the FREAKING PARAGRAPH ABOVE THIS ONE!!!!!

Alex Ovechkin deserved a penalty for boarding when he drilled hometown boy Patrick Kaleta,

Really, Kaleta is from Buffalo? What tidbit of information are you going to tell me next, that Brady Quinn's sister dated A.J. Hawk? That Chad Henne went to Michigan and Brian Hartline went to Ohio State, and those schools are rivals? That Citizen's Bank Park and the "new" Yankee Stadium are hitter friendly parks? I really need to know these things, they are never mentioned.

on Wednesday night, but he shouldn't have been ejected. The Sabres would have been furious had the situation been reversed. If only the Sabres had a top-six forward who played with that much aggression.

OK, I actually agree with Ovechkin not warranting an ejection, and the Sabres lack a top-six forward who plays with such aggression. I am surprised that Ovechkin doesn't have to have a food taster because Bucky would be poisoning his food. Probably because he didn't blow up Tim Kennedy or Tyler Myers. And you know, I am more concerned with the top-six forwards not scoring goals.

Athletes would rally around a bowl of soup for motivation, but don't underestimate the effect UB unveiling its banner for winning the MAC regular-season hoops title had on Canisius. "They could have done it before the first game [an exhibition against Daemen]," Griffs guard Julius Coles said. UB dropped the banner, but Coles dropped the hammer with 26 points in the victory.

OK, I won't underestimate it. Where is Julius Coles from? I am sure not Buffalo, because that would not have escaped mention had it been the case. [Ed's Note: According to Canisius, Julius Coles is from Harlem, but according to Wikipedia he's the president of something called Africare. Also, seriously? They got juiced up because UB hung a banner? Plus, there's only one athlete I can think of who rallies around of a bowl of soup for motivation. That's Donovan McNabb, and only because he was paid handsomely to do so.]

fire bucky gleason, it's about time edition

I'm surprised it took until the end of November, but we finally got the column we were all expecting. Before I get started, I'd just like to point out that in the Sabres' first 17 games they were 12-4-1 and led the the Northeast Division. Again, going in to last week they were in first place and positioned to take the overall points lead in the Eastern Conference. Got it? Good.

If you withstood the damp breeze and waited at the foot of Washington Street until the puck was dropped Friday night, you had a pretty good chance to talk the scalpers outside HSBC Arena into coughing up a couple of Sabres' tickets for little more than a few bucks and a song.

If you wait until the puck drops you can generally talk scalpers into giving you tickets for nothing regardless of how the team's playing. It's not because the Sabres are lousy, it's because those tickets are very rapidly losing value by the second. I got a seat to Buffalo-Carolina Game 6 in '06 for $80 by waiting. That ticket was worth three times that, at least.

Gone are the days when 18,690 was a given downtown for a Friday night game against anybody, let alone a longtime rival and the defending division champ. After all, the Bruins were in town, not the Blue Jackets, yet blocks of seats remained vacant in the 300 level for a silver game.

I really don't know what to say to this. The Bruins are the defending division champ, true, but they're also struggling mightily this season. Two of their best players were injured. Plus, it's a silver game making it that much more expensive. Hell, the Blue Jackets probably would have packed the house because it would've been a bronze game and Rick Nash isn't on the shelf. In conclusion, this paragraph (and the paragraph I wrote about it) stole five minutes of your life.

It's hardly a sign of doom,

Then why the hell are you being so damn ominous about it?

but a few years ago fans would have lined up for any ticket.

Because everybody was surprised with how good the Sabres were coming out of the lockout. The 2006-07 regular season was a pretty magical ride.

People have become more judicious with their buck and more skeptical about their team.

I'm going to pause here for a moment to remind everyone that the Sabres were 12-4-1 entering last week. Caught up? OK.

Perhaps you can blame a slow economy

Probably a pretty good excuse. All we hear all damn day long is how the economy's in the toilet, nobody has any money, and there's no hope in sight. So, naturally, people are going to be scared about how they're spending their money. $150 for a pair of Sabres tickets are a luxury a lot of people can't afford right now.

or the Bills

The Bills are 3-7, and everybody's really pissed off about them. I doubt they're stealing fans. Especially on a Friday night.

or the time of year with Thanksgiving around the corner and Christmas five weeks away.

Meaning, on top of the slow economy, most folks are even more acutely aware of their bottom line since they need to set aside a pretty healthy amount of their income for holiday expenses.

With two legitimate reasons as to why ticket sales are slow (even the mighty NFL is seeing a drop off in attendance, at games for teams that don't suck; but as a consequence, their TV ratings are through the roof so people still care), and one lousy reason, I'm sure the issue is pretty well resolved. I'm surprised this column is so short, because we've really explored-

Or perhaps it says something about the Sabres.

Oh.

Buffalo had had another uneventful night Friday before getting what they had coming, a 2-1 overtime loss to a patient Boston team.

So, people didn't go to the game Friday because they expected the Sabres to lose? What? They started off 12-4-1, and were 12-5-1 going into Friday. The wheels fell off after one loss??

It was a predictable ending considering how Buffalo played for much of the game before Patrice Bergeron deflected Zdeno Chara's shot from the blue line past Ryan Miller.

Didn't see the game. Can't confirm. But it was in overtime. So, if the Sabres were really that uneventful, forcing OT and getting a point is actually a pretty decent outcome all things considered.

It's funny how Buffalo has humbly plodded along and taken over first place in the division without the unmistakable buzz that accompanies local teams with promise.

This may, or may not, have something to do with the fact that local media outlets jump down the team's throat after one overtime loss, apparently. I was excited about their division lead, but I also realized that there's still a lot of hockey left to play.

Fans are optimistic while proceeding with caution, reluctant to completely jump on board.

Because all they hear all offseason ever is how stupid the general manager is, and how lousy all the players not born in South Buffalo are. I think fans are on board, but aren't ready to throw around "Stanley Cup contender" after 20 games, because if you do you're insane. Remember when the Jets were 3-0, had the AFC East by the throat, and Mark Sanchez was a brilliant manchild with the full complement of NFL quarterback skills? How'd the work out? They're 1-6 since and all the playoff talk turned out to be premature? Oh.

You can't blame them.

For not jumping off the deep end twenty games in? No, not at all. What's your excuse?

That's what happens when a team misses the playoffs for two straight seasons.

Oh god. Cut that out. If fans are allowed to be pessimistic ninnies after barely missing the playoffs for two years, then they shouldn't be allowed to get excited if the Sabres make the Conference Finals and then win their first ten games the following season.

The Sabres were only about 400 fans short of a sellout, but it sounded more like 4,000.

Hold on... I thought tickets were so easy to come by you could hoodwink even the most skilled scalper? Now we discover that approximately 18,290 people showed up. That's a pretty solid number. Percentage-wise it's even closer. Canadian (Canadian!) are seeing thousands of tickets go unsold, so by comparison (a really stupid comparison, but a comparison still) we're in great shape. Especially considering the economy, and how everybody likes to harp on how Buffalo apparently only has two nickels to rub together. And they're both at M&T Bank.

Heck, fans couldn't even muster up enough rage to greet winger Daniel Paille with the customary boos reserved for ex-Sabres making their returns.

Holy. Freaking. Crap. I thought we were supposed to give returning players standing ovations?

He was treated largely with indifference,

Maybe because he's Daniel Paille. Doug Janik didn't take any heat when he returned with the Lightning, nor did Michael Ryan. Dan Paille was treated with indifference because he's a guy who couldn't get on the ice, and spent much of recent seasons watching from the press box. Fans didn't get to know him well enough to care.

which was basically how fans reacted for most of the game before hitting the streets and trying to make sense of another disappointing effort.

Just to be clear, after this game Buffalo had still won almost two-thirds of their games this season. If fans were "trying to make sense of another disappointing effort" it's because it's very uncharacteristic of these Sabres this season.

It's hard to figure out this team, really.

Not really. They're a good hockey team with a lot of talent. There are 82 games in the season. We're not going to win all of them. Boston also happens to have talent. They beat us. It happens.

Right when it appears they're ready to make a surge, they take a step back. The game Friday night wasn't quite the insufferable snoozer they played Wednesday night against the Panthers, but there wasn't much to get people out of their seats, either. The loss to Florida could be discarded as a clunker, an aberration considering how well they had played.

Crucial Admission No. 1: through the first seventeen games the Sabres played well. So well even Bucky Gleason was forced to admit they're a good hockey team. With that in mind, a bad game here or there is forgivable since it's an aberration¹.

This one was better,

Meaning, of course, the Panthers game really was an aberration.

but the Sabres still failed to establish themselves as the hungrier team. They generated little offense and few scoring chances.

Judging by the low score, neither did Boston. And, if Boston did generate a lot of offense, hats off to the Sabres' D and Miller for shutting it down most of the night.

They were outshot, 14-3, in the second period

They're always outshot in the second period.

against a Boston team that traveled Thursday night after beating Atlanta in a shootout.

Meh. Usually that should be an advantage, but Boston's starting to find itself. Also, under that logic Buffalo should never win the second game of a back-to-back set.

Buffalo played better in the third

Because for whatever reason they tend to take the second period off. What you're saying here is that this is a good hockey team that met a pretty strong opponent. It happens. 82 games, remember.

but overall it lacked, well, the necessary oomph that resonates throughout the building.

Translation: "I couldn't find anything actually wrong with their performance in the third period, but because they didn't win something was lacking and I'm going to blast them for not winning, which should be criminal in Buffalo and Erie County."

For all the excitement they generated while going 12-4-1 in their first 17 games,

For the record, it's not until we're two-thirds through the entire column that we learn just how well the Sabres played to start the season. Pathetic. But, it gets even better...

you couldn't help but wonder if their last two were more indicative of them needing to claw their way through the season.

There you have it, folks. 2 game sample size of one bad game and one strong game where Buffalo just came up short > 17 game sample size including lots of excellent hockey. This in a column where he openly wonders why fans get convinced their local teams are lousy.

Paul Gaustad proved he was a gamer once again, and not just because he scored after parking his sturdy frame just outside the crease. He and Patrick Kaleta showed up with the same intensity and snarl people have come to expect. Just about every other forward was MIA.

"Just about every other forward" means everybody but Tim Kennedy, natch.

Thomas Vanek had a few weak scoring chances but for the most part lacked energy and emotion for another evening.

But he had scoring chances. According to last week's column, just having scoring opportunities is enough. Remember that? When you worshipped Tim Kennedy for where he was putting his fanny? Even though he still has only five points?

Tim Connolly, who hasn't scored in nine games, was noticeable only when he was giving away the puck.

Shenanigans. Shenanigans, shenanigans, shenanigans. You are deliberately misleading. True, Connolly has not scored a goal in what is now ten games. But in that ten game stretch he has seven (7!) assists for seven points. Points (and assists, for that matter) happen to be a statistical category in which he currently leads all Sabres. To compare, Tim Kennedy during that ten game stretch also has zero goals, but only one assist for one point. So, in sum, it's OK for Tim Kennedy to not score points because he's from South Buffalo and plays a puck possession style. But it's not OK for Tim Connolly to not score goals because he's from Syracuse and plays a better style of puck possession. Got it? Me neither. If you do follow that logic you're probably the guy I hate sitting next to at Sabres' games.

I honestly do not know what Bucky Gleason has against Tim Connolly, other than that he wasn't traded last year. Whenever Connolly generates a point (which he does a lot, to the tune of 17 in 20 games), I picture Bucky sitting there like this, mumbling to himself angrily about how this is what Tim should be doing:


The core of veteran players who should be leading the Sabres inhibited them.

The core of veteran players also gave up one regulation goal. You just said last week that scoring goals is not more important than preventing them. Do you remember anything you write at all, ever?

Let's remember,

Why start now?

too, that the Bruins were without Marc Savard. Backup Tuukka Rask was hardly forced to stand on his head. Milan Lucic was playing just his second game after missing 14 games, but he was his usual miserable self before scoring a goal off a two-on-one with the Sabres slow getting back.

Speechless. Again.

Tonight's game against the Senators marks the 20th of the season, the proverbial quarter pole.

I've come to hate the word "proverbial." The word you're actually looking for here is "metaphorical" but for some reason, that word doesn't have any popular usage. And it's barely a metaphorical quarter pole, since 20 is roughly 25% of 82. It actually is the approximate end to the first quarter of the season.

It's over the next 20 games that the Sabres can turn a strong start into a good season and make a case for themselves as a viable playoff team.

And it's over the following 20 games that the Sabres can solidify their playoff chances. And it's over the final 20 games that the Sabres can clinch their playoff spot. Stop writing stupid things.

For now, I'm still not sold.

Again, I just want to make sure we're all entirely clear what Bucky Gleason is saying here. The Sabres started off strong, going 12-4-1 and taking the lead in their division. They struggled to 12-6-2 to finish out the first twenty, but are still very much in control of the Northeast. However, the 12-4-1 start counts for absolutely nothing and we should really look at their 0-2-1 week to see what the "Real Sabres" are. I really can't comprehend how galactically stupid this is. Of course Buffalo's fortunes can change, it's a long season. But until they play as badly for a stretch long enough to actually contradict how well they started I won't be sold on what you're trying to sell here ("These guys suck!"). This is so extreme it qualifies as buckyperbole.

¹ - Many thanks go out to Roget's Thesaurus for helping Bucky learn the word "aberration" which I do not believe he would've come up with on his own.

shenanigans

Normally these posts have "fire bucky gleason" in the title somewhere because, well, the man probably should be fired. He currently hates just about every Sabre not named Tyler Myers or Tim Kennedy, and will go to just about any length he can to say Buffalo's front office is a bunch of inept cowards that don't Make Moves.

Now, it's very early in the season, but the two teams that were the envy of Bucky Gleason, Montreal and Toronto, because they were so active in the offseason currently have a combined five (5) points in twelve games. Not exactly jumping out of the gate are they? Hell, Montreal couldn't score an equalizer late in the game last night despite skating seven guys. For those of you who may only know as much about hockey as Bucky, a team can only put six guys on the ice at a time, one of them usually being a goalie.

So, here, we've tried to be a voice of reason. Guys like Tallinder, Lydman, Connolly, and even Max (at times) weren't nearly as bad as they were being made out to be. Drury, Briere, Campbell, and Biron were certainly good players, but the Buffalo News' apotheosis of those guys gave rise to us coining "buckyperbole." But after all that vitriol, we get this, without any sort of mea culpa.

It's a big reason I'm not a huge fan of many sportswriters.

Henrik Tallinder was getting grief from almost every angle last season, a good chunk of which was spent getting chunks taken out of him.

Plaschke-nanigans. In the first sentence? Really?

His coach publicly criticized him.

This is actually one of the things that makes hockey so endearing to me. Coaches and other players call each other out, whereas in other sports (I may or may not be thinking of football here) are so terrified of "bulletin board material" they choose to say little. Or, if you're a New England Patriot, nothing at all.

Fans pointed toward him as a primary problem. The media, not to mention opposing forwards, took turns throwing him down and kicking him around.

Bucky left out "especially me, because I still haven't forgiven Darcy Regier for not resigning Chris Drury, so if it looks like one of his signings may not be working out I'm going to jump all over it. Truth be damned."

It seemed everybody wanted to spank Hank,

Plaschke-nanigans. If he does it again I'm going to start adding the tag multiple times.

but you know who was most upset with Tallinder becoming a shell of his former self? Henrik Tallinder. The Sabres' 30-year-old veteran defenseman was so low that he suggested, and many agreed, a change in scenery might be the best remedy for a stale career tumbling downhill.

Since the Buffalo News doesn't appear to have a sports editor, or, if it does, that sports editor appears to be Warren Buffett's golden retriever, some editing here is in order:
The Sabres' 30-year-old veteran defenseman was so low that he suggested at some point it came up in a conversation, and many agreed I refused to let go of it for months and months (including up to the present), a change in scenery might be the best remedy for a stale career tumbling downhill.

There. That's better.

Tallinder four years ago was considered the Sabres' best defenseman — back when they twice reached the conference finals with a roster that included Brian Campbell — before a steady decline for two straight seasons.

What's that? When Tallinder signed his contract he was considered one of the best defencemen on the roster? Seriously? Then why, in the name Rene Robert, do you insist on crucifying the general manager for trying to keep him on the roster? Getting mad at Tallinder's contract is like getting mad at Max's contract. These were two of your best players. If Darcy should've walked away from them, walking away from Drury and Briere is equally brilliant.

Injuries contributed to his downfall, but there was no getting around the fact that he was regressing, not to mention depreciating.

For somebody that spends so much time complaining about how the front office is so conscious of the salary cap and talks about it so often, you certainly spend a lot of time harping on players' value in terms of their contract. This is just "Chris Drury the asset" all over again.

Once he lost his bang, the Sabres lost their buck.

Plaschke-nanigans. Stop. Just stop.

"I didn't feel comfortable with myself. I wasn't miserable all the time, but a lot of times I didn't play that well and it took a toll. It doesn't work. [Playing poorly] doesn't make me a worse person, but I took it like that, which is bad.

According to local experts, playing poorly does make you a worse person. A string of poor play got Tallinder pilloried, such that he suddenly needed to get shipped out. It didn't, and still doesn't, seem prudent, yet you'd never know reading the paper or listening to WGR. The local media has a responsibility to be honest, but I can't take the extremes and the biased views. Hence, these posts here.

Tallinder has been solid while playing alongside longer, lankier rookie Tyler Myers. Tallinder didn't have a point but was plus-5 Tuesday against the Detroit Red Wings, his best plus-minus rating since a plus-6 in a blowout over the Flyers during the 2005-06 playoffs.

Wow, so he's good again? Awesome! I'm sure what will follow is a nice admission that allowing Tallinder to play through his troubles and that Darcy Regier, like any GM, needs to take risks with players pretty much daily and that this one is paying off now.

Myers had an assist and was plus-3 against the Wings.

Or we're going to get an irrelevant stat about Tyler Myers. Sigh.

"He's been a huge help for me," Myers said. "He's just always talking, helping me in certain situations when we're on the ice. During the games, he's always in my ear. I really like that. Any advice he can give me, I'm really happy to take."

He's helping a young rookie. Nice. Knowing that he's mentoring your favorite defenceman ever we'll definitely get an "OK, I was a little wrong, and keeping Tallinder was a good idea."

The Sabres aren't exactly short on size with the pairing, which was thrown together just before the opener. The 6-foot-3 Tallinder and 6-8 Myers found instant chemistry and could be the Sabres' most consistent tandem through the first four games.

OK, not only is he playing better he's doing so consistently. So, apology...

"He's gaining confidence," Ruff said of Tallinder. "It's a "real good, feel good,'

Sorry Lindy, plaschke-nanigans on you too. Beware, people, this appears to be a new, highly contagious, strain. Ask your physician for a vaccine when (s)he tells you they're all out of swine flu shots.

The Sabres were believed to be shopping him over the summer.

Again, this needs some editing:
The Sabres were believed to be shopping him over the summer. I've been saying since, like, last November this dead weight needed to be shipped out of town.

They either couldn't find a team willing to accept his $3.25 million salary for this season or couldn't get enough in return. If he keeps playing well, it could be a great move never made.

FINALLY!!!! Sort of. All he says is it could be a great move, but never actually admits that if this turns out to be a great move, he was completely, wholly, entirely, wrong.

Plus-minus rating can be misleading, but it can be an indicator over the course of a season.

So, plus-minus is a worthless stat except for when it's not a worthless stat? We almost made it through one of these without a completely worthless sentence that effectively says nothing. Maybe next time.

For what it's worth, Tallinder is leading the Sabres through four games with a plus-6. Myers, second with a plus-4, says the veteran has helped him get adjusted to the NHL. Tallinder says the kid has helped rejuvenate his game.

Tyler Myers. Not only is he Big T, with a great upside, a giant physique, and very strong early returns in terms of his play, he also makes the guys around him better. Cue the cliches!!

fire bucky gleason, new mancrush edition

OK, so if you've read Bucky Gleason for the past six months or so you know this isn't a "new" mancrush. He's had it for a while. Only now, with Tyler Myers very close to a possible NHL debut, Bucky gets to harp on it. If Myers is returned to juniors, brace yourself for passing mentions in every column about how stupid the Sabres are for not playing a 19 year old kid.

I use the term "mancrush" because it is my sincere hope that Tyler Myers does not reciprocate any of Bucky's feelings. I have the same hope for Chris Drury. Personally, I believe that in a desk drawer in Bucky's office (or cubicle, or whatever they get over at the News) there is a notebook covered in red ink much like you'd find in a thirteen year old girl's diary, saying things like "I heart Chris Drury" and "Mrs. Chris Drury" and "Mr. and Mrs. Chris and Bucky Drury." Given Bucky's level of affection for Jesus "Chris" Drury, I wouldn't put it past him.

My brother got to this first, so I added some comments because it's my blog dammit.

Thirty years later, Lindy Ruff sounded as if that sick feeling was still churning in his stomach. He was a 19-year-old kid who didn't know what to expect in 1979 when he arrived for his first training camp and saw beasts like Jerry Korab, Jim Schoenfeld and Larry Playfair milling around the Sabres' dressing room.

OK, so this isn't all bad, considering the source. A decent, well presented opening paragraph. Maybe we will go without stupid hyperbole and metaphor, no reference to Sabres bad management, no tired, overused sports cliche, and instead, get a thoughtful column about a bright, young, up and coming Sabres defenceman.

Anyone would have been intimidated. Korab's nickname was King Kong for a reason.

My bad. While I certainly realize I view the world through my extremely sophomoric eyes, it should go without saying that a sentence discussing men in a dressing room, should not be followed by a sentence referring to a man with a nickname "King Kong." Unless the sentence is being written in an Austin Powers movie script.

Schoenfeld was entering his eighth season and already had established himself as a tough customer in the NHL. Playfair would soon enjoy more knockouts than Hugh Hefner.

For the record, it is in paragraph two where we find the first stupid metaphor

"Every guy was 6-4, 200-something [pounds],"

I realize that the media industry generally writes at a six grade level (and based on the paragraph above, a six grade boy's level), but I really don't think we needed the parenthetical clarification of pounds. Do you think one would read that and wonder, "What, 200 meters? 200 degrees centigrade?"

Ruff said. "I thought, "Oh, crap, get me back to juniors.' That's how you feel as a young kid."Ruff spent his first season learning on the fly. In 63 games, he had five goals, 18 points and 38 penalty minutes as a part-time player refining his skills and adjusting to the league. A year later, he was stronger and grittier and finished with eight goals, 26 points and 121 penalty minutes. The next season, he had 16 goals, 48 points and 194 penalty minutes.

For these keeping track, we have now read three paragraphs and there have been exactly zero references to the headline topic, Tyler Myers.

The Sabres should keep that in mind when they decide whether to keep 6-foot-8 defenseman Tyler Myers or send him back to juniors with nothing to prove. The 19-year-old is not eligible to play in Portland based on rules in the collective bargaining agreement. Clauses exist in which he can play 10 games or more and be shipped back, but they're not viable options for various reasons.

ALRIGHT!!!!! FINALLY!!! A reference to Tyler Myers!! I doubt he would have nothing to prove in juniors. After all, if he goes down and plays terribly, he could prove not ready for the NHL. He could prove that the additional season in juniors actually helped his development. He could prove Einstein's Theory of Relativity to bunk. (Oops, bad metaphor, it's contagious).

Basically, they have nine regular-season games to make up their minds.

In reality, they have 10. Which, is 1/8 of the season or 12.5 %. Not a substantial body of work, but not nothing.

Ruff sounded as if the Sabres were teetering on Myers, but it should be a no-brainer.

I have to step aside here, the column's author could be qualified in a court of law as an expert in "no-brainers."

[Ed.'s Note: Not for nothing, but he's 19. Talent doesn't manifest in the NHL at 19 very often. Juniors may not be the worst choice.]

Keep the kid in Buffalo and groom him.

And hopefully he will not frequently find himself a healthy scratch being groomed for nothing but learning how to efficiently sit in a luxury suite. Which I can say from personal experience, is not very difficult to learn.

Surround him with NHL players and coaches.

If he stays in Buffalo, I think it is a given he will be surrounded by NHL players and coaches. I doubt he would end up surrounded by bar league players and mite coaches. The only exception would be if he played for Phoenix.

Give him a year under Doug McKenney, one of the best strength and conditioning coaches in the business, and help him mature.

Of course everyone matures in such an environment, I cannot think of a single Sabre player who has not matured over the past several years. After all, it is....what?.....Oh....I guess Derek Roy is still on the team. My bad.

[Ed.'s Note: Shenanigans. I guarantee you Bucky wrote that sentence only to demonstrate that he knows the name of the Sabres' strength and conditioning coach. Oh yeah, dude? Well, the sister-in-law of the matron of honor at my wedding is a part-time x-ray technician for the Sabres. So THERE!]

Myers was so skinny last year that the Sabres could have wired him back to Kelowna,

I congratulate him for getting through four paragraphs without using a bad metaphor.

[Ed.'s Note: We're not so heartless around here that we don't acknowledge a personal record when they're set.

but that's no longer the case. Ruff said he gained nearly 25 pounds since the beginning of last summer and was pushing 230.

Not for nothing, but I weigh 225, and am a diminuitive 6'0" when compared to Myers. So he isn't huge either. Of course, I am only assuming the 230 is a reference to pounds, since we were not fortunate enough to get a parenthetical clarification as we did above. So strike what I said in the first few sentences as pure and rampant speculation.

He's stronger and more confident after playing well for Canada in the world junior championships. Fifty or so games with the big boys would only make him better.

Or thwart his development with little ice time, injury issues because the big boys can push him around or just a loss in confidence from an inability to play with the big boys.

[Ed.'s Note: Again, the kid's 19. The list of 19 year olds prepared to take on NHL talent nightly is pretty limited.]

Ruff talked about the development process, making sure Big T goes from A to D

What?

[Ed.'s Note: Plaschke-nanigans. Haven't been able to pull that one out in a while. Thanks, Buck.]

without skipping B and C.

WHAT?

Fair enough, but by keeping him they can accelerate the middle steps and make him the A-plus D-man they've lacked for years.

WHAT THE F&%@?!?! STOP WITH ALL THE STUPID LETTERS!

He certainly wouldn't be the first teenager to make the leap from major junior to the NHL.

He also wouldn't be the first teenager to struggle with the leap from juniors to the NHL. But way to use the exception as an illustration of the rule.

[Ed.'s Note: There you have it folks, Tyler Myers is Sidney Crosby. I think in this instance we're going to have to invent a new term here at FBG. It's called "buckyperbole," and it's defined as when Bucky shamelessly inflates either the potential of a player the Sabres don't currently have on the ice (Myers, Tim Kennedy, James Wisniewski, Jay Bouwmeester) or overexaggerates how bad other players are (Tim Connolly, Henrik Tallinder, Toni Lydman, pretty much every Sabre in the post-lockout era who's last name isn't Drury, Briere, or Campbell. On the plus side, new tag! Woo!]

Let's hope money isn't an issue. History suggests the Sabres are worried about starting the clock on his contract, which would get him get back to the bargaining table for dough a year sooner after his three-year rookie deal expires.

Dammit to hell! I really thought he could get through the whole thing without a reference to management and (his opinion) their terrible practices. I really ought to know better by now.

[Ed.'s Note: Yes, you should know better. And, once again, this may not be unreasonable front office decision making. The kid's 19. Another year in juniors means we get him until he's 23. Plus, we have Lydman and Tallinder in contract years on what's an already crowded blue line. Maybe waiting until those two spots open up makes more sense, since Myers would have a better shot at ice time and would therefore be "groomed" more.]

If their roster is overcrowded, make room even if it means waiving a veteran. Toni Lydman and Henrik Tallinder, headed toward unrestricted free agency and not part of the Sabres' long-term future, are good candidates. The Sabres missed the playoffs with them, so they can certainly do the same without them.

Yes, waive a proven NHL asset (Albeit neither great by any stretch, but they have proven able to play NHL minutes). Get nothing in return. Rely on a wild card and hope it works. Sounds like a great plan to me. And I am glad to see that, in the last sentence, we were able to get a sports cliche thrown into the mix.

[Ed.'s Note: I will put some work into demonstrating why waiving Lydman and Tallinder (or just one of those guys) is incredibly stupid. I feel it necessary, because boneheaded gut reactions is what destroys your salary cap. I just don't have the time right now.]

No matter, the kid needs to stay. The Sabres would need to live with his mistakes

At which point I can write columns tearing him up for not being "ready" for the NHL.

knowing he'll improve as he becomes more comfortable. His teammates believe he belongs.

Thanks for quoting a teammate to verify that.

[Ed.'s Note: Thanks for quoting ANYONE to verify that. Someday we'll be introduced to the voices inside Bucky's head that serve as his "sources."]

Ruff acknowledged that Myers is pushing them more than they're pulling him.

Another sports cliche, check.

Myers knew deep down last season that he wasn't prepared for the NHL. Now, he's certain he can. What a difference a year makes. Just ask his coach.

"I do think I'm ready," Myers said. "I need to show that consistency where I can play at this level. I wasn't ready last year. I came into camp wanting to make an impression. It's a lot different this time. I'm looking to make a team."

OK, glad we were finally able to get a quotation from the headlined subject. Disappointed (though not surprised) that it was in the final paragraph after stupid hyperbole, sports cliches and ripping into Sabres management (also no great shock). And it isn't like we got great insight from the kid. We got a few sentences he probably was reading ought of the "Athlete's Handbook for Dealing with the Media: How to say lots of words and say nothing at all" I don't blame Myers, I blame Bucky. I am sure his only questions to Myers were merely countless variations of: "Don't you think the front office sucks if they don't keep you in the NHL this year?

[Ed.'s Note: Not for nothing, but what is "Big T" supposed to say here? "Are you mental, dude? I'm 19, and nobody outside of your column and the Sabres' scouting department knows who I am. I could use another year to develop, so your whole premise here is bunk. But thanks for the vote of confidence."]