since the season is finally over, we're starting to get more ridiculousness. Especially since free agency is a week away, and the draft is tonight. Now is the time for player movement, and what next season's roster is going to look like will take shape within the next two weeks or so (depending on the July 1 flurry). But since the nonsense has been limited to Larry Felser writing stupid things, and Bucky's "GM for a Day" (which will likely be the subject of multiple posts) (it's really that garbage) (I mean, seriously), we've had to look elsewhere for people writing stupid things about hockey.
How about false moral indignation because hockey is enjoyed by white people and struggles to attract the attention of non-white people? Thank you, Richard Roeper. michael.w guest stars again because he was angrier about it than I was, but my comments are in italics because I'm taller.
Even as the Sun-Times and the Tribune put out those special sections on the Blackhawks, even as the local newscasts are offering expanded coverage complete with cheerleader/sportscasters that speak in terms of "we" when covering the Stanley Cup finals, the question is legit: Is this just a white thing?
Oh boy.
You look at the crowd at the United Center and you see a sea of red jerseys -- and white faces. At a recent playoff game, I looked all around and couldn't spot one fan who appeared to be a minority. (Uh- oh, fan profiling -- is it wrong?)
[Ed's Note: Probably].
Fan profiling wrong? I don't know. But the assertion is factually inaccurate, as Michael Jordan was at Blackhawks games with Bobby Hull. In case you don't believe me in that Michael Jordan was either a) at a game, or b) a minority, I submit photographic evidence of both.
When I hear talk that Patrick Kane or Jonathan Toews could become the face of Chicago sports if the Blackhawks win the Cup -- I don't know. Of course Kane and Toews can become Chicago sports icons, just as Bobby Hull and Stan Mikita and Denny Savard and Jeremy Roenick have before them -- but to what extent? Can a hockey player ever achieve the sports-transcendent, crossover fame of an Ernie Banks, a Mike Ditka, a Michael Jordan, a Walter Payton, even a Frank Thomas or an Ozzie Guillen? Or are there large sections of Chicago where even this week, Ozzie or Derrick Rose or Devin Hester would be more recognizable than Kane or Dustin Byfuglien?
So with the exception of "a" Mike Ditka, all other sports-transcendent, crossover famous Chicago athletes are black? And really, why the "a" Michael Jordan, etc. When discussing Banks, Ditka, Jordan, Payton, aren't they so transcendent that they should be refer to as "The" Michael Jordan, "The" Ernie Banks, etc?
[Ed's Note: The verbal sleight of hand tag is one whose time has come. Perhaps it's intentional, perhaps it isn't, but it's tricky here. Roeper asks if Kane and Toews can become Chicago sports icons. Short answer? Yes. They already are, actually, because, you know they were integral parts of a championship team that drew millions of Chicagoans outside for a victory parade. The next question, which I think Roeper is trying to again limit to only Chicago, is if a hockey player can ever have cross-over transcendent appeal. The answer to that is an easy yes (Gretzky, Howe, Lemieux, Crosby, Ovechkin). Can it happen in Chicago? You just listed four white hockey players who managed to do it, one in the last fifteen years.
I also imagine that Chicago, as large as it is, has large sections where nobody would identify Derrick Rose or Ozzie Guillen.]
Byfuglien, whose mother is Norwegian and whose father is black, is one of only about two dozen NHL players who are black or biracial.
What does this have to do with (not) all Blackhawk fans being white?
Even that relatively small number represents a huge increase from the historical norm. By the NHL's own count, there were a grand total of 18 black players in the league from 1917 to 1990. The percentage of minority players has grown quickly over the last generation, and the NHL has done an admirable job of reaching out to minorities --
[Ed's Note: So hockey has identified that it needs more exposure in non-traditional demographics, as has reached out to those specific demos. Snoop Dogg performs at its awards ceremony. Dunder Mifflin, a black forward, played a central role (when he wasn't being shut down by a white elbow machine) in the NHL's showcase event. It's certainly not any sort of equity or balance, but they've acknowledged the problem and are working to fix it. Sounds good to me.]
but the sport of hockey is still dominated by white players, and all you have to do is scan the arena when you're at a game to realize the fan base is overwhelmingly Caucasian.
Actually, the fan base in any arena of any sport is overwhelmingly Caucasian. Not coincidentally, the population of the United States overwhelmingly Caucasian.
[Ed's Note: that the population is overwhelmingly Caucasian is debatable. That American culture remains overwhelmingly Caucasian centric is far less debatable, and is the basis for entire majors of study. Glib indignation about the percentage of minorities at hockey games doesn't even scrape the surface.]
Even though the NBA is dominated by black players, the fan base seems more diverse than the NHL's.
And I have the facts to back it up
Fans of all races grew up around the games of basketball, football and baseball. Partially because it's much more expensive to outfit a kid for hockey than it is to throw a soccer ball or a basketball on a playing surface and have an instant game, there are a lot of adult fans who never so much as played a game of hockey in their lives.
Or not.
Of course there are Latinos and Asians and blacks in the Chicago area who follow and cheer for the Blackhawks -- and of course there are more than a few Caucasians who couldn't care less about Game 6 on Wednesday night.
[Ed's Note: Translation- some minorities like hockey, and some white people don't care for it. But it doesn't really help the main premise here, which is that only white people go to Blackhawks games, so I'm just going to gloss over it instead of, you know, engaging my underlying thesis with any real depth.]
More random crap.
I'm just saying.
Nothing coherent.
Even as we see the huge local TV numbers for the Stanley Cup finals, even as the sportscasters tell us "the entire city" is cheering for the Hawks to bring home the Cup for the first time in nearly a half-century, that's not entirely accurate.
I am glad, you know, actual minorities were interviewed and quoted in this piece.
If you're a minority and you are a big Blackhawks fan, I'd like to hear from you, whether it's to reinforce what I'm saying or to tell me I'm way off on this one.
[Ed's Note: Translation- I haven't done any research at all above or beyond the fact that I happened to notice there were a lot of white people at hockey games. Now I've spewed out five hundred words to that effect, and realized too late that it may make me look stupid because I've left myself so open for ridicule and criticism so instead I'm going to pretend to want to kickstart a discussion.]
You're way off on this one.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
fire bucky gleason, premature and incorrect edition
I know it's been a while since we've shredded Bucky. Part of it was because the Sabres struggled in their opening round loss to the Bruins, and even though Bucky and his ilk are still very wrong when it comes to hockey analysis, it was tough to defend the Sabres (even though every game was a one-goal affair except for Buffalo's domination in Game Five and the empty net goal in Game Two to make that difference two). Anyways, after a couple weeks of craziness (Trade Connolly! Trade Stafford! Trade Roy! Trade Pominville! It doesn't matter what we get in return!), it's time to try and get reason to reign again (and what I mean is it's time to try, again, to get reason to reign; reason's never reigned in Buffalo when it comes to the Sabres).
This journalistic masterpiece is, ostensibly, not about the Sabres. Or so you think. Read on, you'll see.
michael.w took care of it first, with my comments in italics because I don't highlight my hair.
The deal didn't make sense at the time because it broke Rule No. 1 in "Tricks of the Trade: GM's Guide for Swapping NHL Players." (this sounds like the lamest and least helpful book ever) It states the following: Never, ever, however long you shall live, unload a franchise player unless A) one is coming back in return or B) you're trying to get fired.
Mike O'Connell broke the rule when he traded Joe Thornton on Nov. 30, 2005, which helps explain why the Bruins sent O'Connell packing after the season. Thornton finished the season with the Sharks as the NHL's leading scorer and most valuable player. The Bruins had the fifth-worst record in the league and missed the playoffs.
At least there is acknowledgment that the Bruins GM was fired. Now before you even ask if the trade really benefited both teams, as the headline suggests, I should inject a fact here. The Bruins missed the playoffs not just in the 2005-2006 season, but also the season that followed. In some parts, missing the playoffs two seasons in a row is a mortal sin, and the team's GM sucks.
[Ed's Note: Actually, we should envy the Bruins. They fire their GM after missing the playoffs only once. Also, maybe Mike O'Connell was trying to get fired. You ever think of that, smart guy?]
Thornton was everything the Sharks needed and more over the past five regular seasons, averaging 102 points if you include 23 games he played for the Bruins before making his way to San Jose. He led the league in assists three times and finished with no worse than 86 points in any season during that span.
He also led the league in being tagged with the cliche "can't win in the playoffs."
Boston received Marco Sturm, Brad Stuart and Wayne Primeau in return. The last two were wheeled the following season to Calgary for Andrew Ference and Chuck Kobasew. Sturm has just two playoff goals to show for five years in Boston. Kobasew is gone.
It was a GM not involved in the Thornton deal that made those moves, by the way.
[Ed's Note: Also, all three players were on the roster at the beginning of the 2006-07 season. This is important to note, because during the 2006 offseason, Boston signed Zdeno Chara. So, basically, the three guys that balanced out Thornton were still on the roster when Chara signed.]
So, the Sharks won the deal?
Yes. San Jose has made the playoffs in each of the seasons that Joe Thornton has been on the team. The Bruins have not made the playoffs in each of the seasons since the trade.
Thornton was among the NHL's great players between October and April, one of the great failures in April and May. He had six playoff goals in five postseasons with the Bruins, including 0-0-0, minus-6 over his final seven playoff games for Boston.
Thanks for joining the "Thornton Can't Win in the Playoffs Parade"
Jumbo Joe (Please stop with the nicknames! I am begging. Or at least get it right. He is often referred to as "Big Joe") was pocketing $6.6 million when the swap was completed. He's making $7.2 million now after giving San Jose a hometown discount. He gave them six goals over 41 playoff games in four seasons for a Sharks team that was terrific in the regular season, terrible in the postseason, a reflection of him.
Of course, just a reflection of Thornton. He is the Sharks only player.
[Ed's Note: Much like Tim Connolly, Joe Thornton should use his leadership powers for good and not evil. There were not any other San Jose Sharks capable of offering any kind of compass during the playoffs. They could only turn to Thornton, who so willingly led them off a cliff every time.
Also, shenanigans. Here are Joe Thornton's stat lines from the playoffs for the Sharks...
2005-06: 2-7-9 in 11 games
2006-07: 1-10-11 in 11 games
2007-08: 2-8-10 in 13 games
2008-09: 1-4-5 in 6 games
2009-10 (so far): 3-8-11 in 11 games
So, yes, you are correct by saying that, until this year, he only scored six playoff goals for the Sharks. Which, at first blush, looks like it sucks. But in those 41 playoff games, Thornton happened to have 35 points. Which does not suck. It's not his regular season point per game average, but .85 is nothing to sneeze at. Plus, Thornton is not a goal scorer. His regular season PPG is 1.01, but GPG is .31. His playoff GPG for the Sharks is .17 (or .15 not including this year). So his goal scoring did drop off, significantly (about half). But his PPG is still comparable, bearing in mind these sample sizes aren't huge.
Finally, to pick a random point for comparison, Chris Drury's playoff point per game average over that same span? .76. Joe Thornton is a huge choking bastard, Chris Drury is mega-clutch.]
Boston used the cap space created in the Thornton trade to sign defenseman Zdeno Chara, an eventual Norris Trophy winner.
And missed the playoffs the season after they signed him.
[Ed's Note: Prove this. Sturm, Stuart, and Primeau had an aggregate cap hit (according to nhlscap.com) in 2005-06 of $5.325 million. Thornton's cap hit was $6.67 million (rounded up). So Boston saved about $1.35 million in the deal. Chara's cap hit is $7.5 million. Where the hell did the rest of the cap space come from?
Also, in light of the statistics and cap numbers I've created the "fun with math" tag.]
The Bruins cleared more room to sign Marc Savard, who has averaged more than a point per game since he arrived. The Bruins had the NHL's best record last season.
And this has exactly what to do with the Thornton deal?
OK, so the Bruins won the deal?
No. As stated above, for two straight seasons without "Big Joe," Boston did not make the playoffs. While the Sharks, with him, always did.
Thornton's absence led to the Bruins' misery in 2005-06, but also to fifth overall pick Phil Kessel. He had a team-high 36 goals last season, plus 11 points in 11 playoff games before a second-round knockout.
Soooooooo...... the plan was to trade Thornton, which would necessarily mean the Bruins would suck and therefore they could draft Kessel? Well, at least Kessel is still an instrumental member of the elite Bruins teams.
He was seeking more than $5 million per season last summer, which would have thrown off payroll. GM Peter Chiarelli shipped Kessel to Toronto for two first-round picks in a bold move that was roundly criticized because he unloaded a goal scorer without getting one in return.
Oh.
But now the Bruins own the second pick overall and are certain to land a talented forward in Taylor Hall or Tyler Seguin.
So rely on Toronto sucking. OK, actually not a bad plan. Draft a young player, who may or may not be good. In any event, we now have gotten to a point in Bruin history about 17 steps removed from the Thornton trade. We are basically into one of those ridiculous law school exam questions about causation. Man gets hit by car. Walks away with a sprained ankle. Ankle is further sprained when the man plays softball. He goes to the hospital for treatment and dies because an infected syringe caused a fatal staph infection. Is the driver of the car responsible for the man's death?
[Ed's Note: The Bruins netted Kessel not as a direct result of the Thornton trade. The Bruins sucked in part because Thornton was gone, but Boston didn't receive the fifth pick they used on Kessel from San Jose. Phil Kessel actually has almost nothing to do with Joe Thornton. It'd be like saying Edmonton gets to draft #1 overall right now as a direct result of Buffalo resigning Thomas Vanek. So, to Edmonton Thomas Vanek = Hall or Seguin. Doesn't quite work (although that actually makes MORE sense than Thornton becoming Kessel becoming Hall or Seguin).]
Thornton remained largely invisible in big games, vanishing in the first round against Colorado with no goals and a minus-3 rating. He vacated the perimeter in the second round, showed some vigor and had three goals and eight points in five games while dominating Detroit.
What? San Jose won both series. Who cares?
San Jose has reached the conference finals. Boston can reach the conference finals with a win tonight. Which team ended up better in the Thornton deal remains open to debate, but both had the gumption to build upon a significant move in an effort to win the Stanley Cup.
Actually, it is not open to debate. Thornton yet again is a key cog in the San Jose Sharks top rated team. The Bruins have retained one of the role players who came back in the trade and a new GM made about half a dozen unrelated moves to build the Bruins that we see today.
[Ed's Note: The beauty of not firing off cannons too early... both Boston and San Jose have had their playoff struggles of late. But San Jose has never yielded a 3-0 series lead. Thornton replacement (because of ALL that cap space Boston got) Zdeno Chara has.]
Here's the deal with the Sabres: Tim Connolly, Derek Roy, Thomas Vanek, Jochen Hecht, Jason Pominville, Paul Gaustad, Henrik Tallinder, Toni Lydman, Adam Mair and Ryan Miller remained after Thornton was traded.
Right. None of whom, with the possible exception of Miller, come even close to being on the level of Joe Thornton. Joe Thornton is an elite NHL talent. So is Miller. All of the other players listed are no where close to Joe Thornton.
Daniel Briere, Chris Drury, Maxim Afinogenov, Brian Campbell, Ales Kotalik and J.P. Dumont departed. The return: Tyler Ennis, taken with a pick they obtained for Campbell.
How does that make sense?
It should be noted that Briere, Drury, and Dumont were all obtained by the Sabres via trades that the Sabres clearly won, with the exception of Drury. Briere was obtained for Chris Gratton. Dumont was acquired ALONG WITH Doug Gilmour for Michal Grosek. Drury was obtained for Rhett Warrener. That one was a wash.
[Ed's Note: This is so nonsensical I can't even handle it. Free agency decisions happen. The premise of this column is that bold moves need to be taken. Which suggests that we should have traded Briere or Drury in 2007. Don't get me started on Max/Dumont again. I've been down that road before. Kotalik does not bear any inclusion here whatsoever. The premise of this last Sabres kiss off is faulty. Boston traded Thornton, and have three players on their team now as a result. Boston has won two playoff series (one against Buffalo) in the five seasons including the Thornton trade, and since. Buffalo has won four series in the time, in as many playoff appearances. So, perhaps we shouldn't be worshipping the genius of Mike O'Connell and Peter Chiarelli. Because, in some ways, Mike O'Connell + Peter Chiarelli = 1/2 Darcy Regier.]
This journalistic masterpiece is, ostensibly, not about the Sabres. Or so you think. Read on, you'll see.
michael.w took care of it first, with my comments in italics because I don't highlight my hair.
The deal didn't make sense at the time because it broke Rule No. 1 in "Tricks of the Trade: GM's Guide for Swapping NHL Players." (this sounds like the lamest and least helpful book ever) It states the following: Never, ever, however long you shall live, unload a franchise player unless A) one is coming back in return or B) you're trying to get fired.
Mike O'Connell broke the rule when he traded Joe Thornton on Nov. 30, 2005, which helps explain why the Bruins sent O'Connell packing after the season. Thornton finished the season with the Sharks as the NHL's leading scorer and most valuable player. The Bruins had the fifth-worst record in the league and missed the playoffs.
At least there is acknowledgment that the Bruins GM was fired. Now before you even ask if the trade really benefited both teams, as the headline suggests, I should inject a fact here. The Bruins missed the playoffs not just in the 2005-2006 season, but also the season that followed. In some parts, missing the playoffs two seasons in a row is a mortal sin, and the team's GM sucks.
[Ed's Note: Actually, we should envy the Bruins. They fire their GM after missing the playoffs only once. Also, maybe Mike O'Connell was trying to get fired. You ever think of that, smart guy?]
Thornton was everything the Sharks needed and more over the past five regular seasons, averaging 102 points if you include 23 games he played for the Bruins before making his way to San Jose. He led the league in assists three times and finished with no worse than 86 points in any season during that span.
He also led the league in being tagged with the cliche "can't win in the playoffs."
Boston received Marco Sturm, Brad Stuart and Wayne Primeau in return. The last two were wheeled the following season to Calgary for Andrew Ference and Chuck Kobasew. Sturm has just two playoff goals to show for five years in Boston. Kobasew is gone.
It was a GM not involved in the Thornton deal that made those moves, by the way.
[Ed's Note: Also, all three players were on the roster at the beginning of the 2006-07 season. This is important to note, because during the 2006 offseason, Boston signed Zdeno Chara. So, basically, the three guys that balanced out Thornton were still on the roster when Chara signed.]
So, the Sharks won the deal?
Yes. San Jose has made the playoffs in each of the seasons that Joe Thornton has been on the team. The Bruins have not made the playoffs in each of the seasons since the trade.
Thornton was among the NHL's great players between October and April, one of the great failures in April and May. He had six playoff goals in five postseasons with the Bruins, including 0-0-0, minus-6 over his final seven playoff games for Boston.
Thanks for joining the "Thornton Can't Win in the Playoffs Parade"
Jumbo Joe (Please stop with the nicknames! I am begging. Or at least get it right. He is often referred to as "Big Joe") was pocketing $6.6 million when the swap was completed. He's making $7.2 million now after giving San Jose a hometown discount. He gave them six goals over 41 playoff games in four seasons for a Sharks team that was terrific in the regular season, terrible in the postseason, a reflection of him.
Of course, just a reflection of Thornton. He is the Sharks only player.
[Ed's Note: Much like Tim Connolly, Joe Thornton should use his leadership powers for good and not evil. There were not any other San Jose Sharks capable of offering any kind of compass during the playoffs. They could only turn to Thornton, who so willingly led them off a cliff every time.
Also, shenanigans. Here are Joe Thornton's stat lines from the playoffs for the Sharks...
2005-06: 2-7-9 in 11 games
2006-07: 1-10-11 in 11 games
2007-08: 2-8-10 in 13 games
2008-09: 1-4-5 in 6 games
2009-10 (so far): 3-8-11 in 11 games
So, yes, you are correct by saying that, until this year, he only scored six playoff goals for the Sharks. Which, at first blush, looks like it sucks. But in those 41 playoff games, Thornton happened to have 35 points. Which does not suck. It's not his regular season point per game average, but .85 is nothing to sneeze at. Plus, Thornton is not a goal scorer. His regular season PPG is 1.01, but GPG is .31. His playoff GPG for the Sharks is .17 (or .15 not including this year). So his goal scoring did drop off, significantly (about half). But his PPG is still comparable, bearing in mind these sample sizes aren't huge.
Finally, to pick a random point for comparison, Chris Drury's playoff point per game average over that same span? .76. Joe Thornton is a huge choking bastard, Chris Drury is mega-clutch.]
Boston used the cap space created in the Thornton trade to sign defenseman Zdeno Chara, an eventual Norris Trophy winner.
And missed the playoffs the season after they signed him.
[Ed's Note: Prove this. Sturm, Stuart, and Primeau had an aggregate cap hit (according to nhlscap.com) in 2005-06 of $5.325 million. Thornton's cap hit was $6.67 million (rounded up). So Boston saved about $1.35 million in the deal. Chara's cap hit is $7.5 million. Where the hell did the rest of the cap space come from?
Also, in light of the statistics and cap numbers I've created the "fun with math" tag.]
The Bruins cleared more room to sign Marc Savard, who has averaged more than a point per game since he arrived. The Bruins had the NHL's best record last season.
And this has exactly what to do with the Thornton deal?
OK, so the Bruins won the deal?
No. As stated above, for two straight seasons without "Big Joe," Boston did not make the playoffs. While the Sharks, with him, always did.
Thornton's absence led to the Bruins' misery in 2005-06, but also to fifth overall pick Phil Kessel. He had a team-high 36 goals last season, plus 11 points in 11 playoff games before a second-round knockout.
Soooooooo...... the plan was to trade Thornton, which would necessarily mean the Bruins would suck and therefore they could draft Kessel? Well, at least Kessel is still an instrumental member of the elite Bruins teams.
He was seeking more than $5 million per season last summer, which would have thrown off payroll. GM Peter Chiarelli shipped Kessel to Toronto for two first-round picks in a bold move that was roundly criticized because he unloaded a goal scorer without getting one in return.
Oh.
But now the Bruins own the second pick overall and are certain to land a talented forward in Taylor Hall or Tyler Seguin.
So rely on Toronto sucking. OK, actually not a bad plan. Draft a young player, who may or may not be good. In any event, we now have gotten to a point in Bruin history about 17 steps removed from the Thornton trade. We are basically into one of those ridiculous law school exam questions about causation. Man gets hit by car. Walks away with a sprained ankle. Ankle is further sprained when the man plays softball. He goes to the hospital for treatment and dies because an infected syringe caused a fatal staph infection. Is the driver of the car responsible for the man's death?
[Ed's Note: The Bruins netted Kessel not as a direct result of the Thornton trade. The Bruins sucked in part because Thornton was gone, but Boston didn't receive the fifth pick they used on Kessel from San Jose. Phil Kessel actually has almost nothing to do with Joe Thornton. It'd be like saying Edmonton gets to draft #1 overall right now as a direct result of Buffalo resigning Thomas Vanek. So, to Edmonton Thomas Vanek = Hall or Seguin. Doesn't quite work (although that actually makes MORE sense than Thornton becoming Kessel becoming Hall or Seguin).]
Thornton remained largely invisible in big games, vanishing in the first round against Colorado with no goals and a minus-3 rating. He vacated the perimeter in the second round, showed some vigor and had three goals and eight points in five games while dominating Detroit.
What? San Jose won both series. Who cares?
San Jose has reached the conference finals. Boston can reach the conference finals with a win tonight. Which team ended up better in the Thornton deal remains open to debate, but both had the gumption to build upon a significant move in an effort to win the Stanley Cup.
Actually, it is not open to debate. Thornton yet again is a key cog in the San Jose Sharks top rated team. The Bruins have retained one of the role players who came back in the trade and a new GM made about half a dozen unrelated moves to build the Bruins that we see today.
[Ed's Note: The beauty of not firing off cannons too early... both Boston and San Jose have had their playoff struggles of late. But San Jose has never yielded a 3-0 series lead. Thornton replacement (because of ALL that cap space Boston got) Zdeno Chara has.]
Here's the deal with the Sabres: Tim Connolly, Derek Roy, Thomas Vanek, Jochen Hecht, Jason Pominville, Paul Gaustad, Henrik Tallinder, Toni Lydman, Adam Mair and Ryan Miller remained after Thornton was traded.
Right. None of whom, with the possible exception of Miller, come even close to being on the level of Joe Thornton. Joe Thornton is an elite NHL talent. So is Miller. All of the other players listed are no where close to Joe Thornton.
Daniel Briere, Chris Drury, Maxim Afinogenov, Brian Campbell, Ales Kotalik and J.P. Dumont departed. The return: Tyler Ennis, taken with a pick they obtained for Campbell.
How does that make sense?
It should be noted that Briere, Drury, and Dumont were all obtained by the Sabres via trades that the Sabres clearly won, with the exception of Drury. Briere was obtained for Chris Gratton. Dumont was acquired ALONG WITH Doug Gilmour for Michal Grosek. Drury was obtained for Rhett Warrener. That one was a wash.
[Ed's Note: This is so nonsensical I can't even handle it. Free agency decisions happen. The premise of this column is that bold moves need to be taken. Which suggests that we should have traded Briere or Drury in 2007. Don't get me started on Max/Dumont again. I've been down that road before. Kotalik does not bear any inclusion here whatsoever. The premise of this last Sabres kiss off is faulty. Boston traded Thornton, and have three players on their team now as a result. Boston has won two playoff series (one against Buffalo) in the five seasons including the Thornton trade, and since. Buffalo has won four series in the time, in as many playoff appearances. So, perhaps we shouldn't be worshipping the genius of Mike O'Connell and Peter Chiarelli. Because, in some ways, Mike O'Connell + Peter Chiarelli = 1/2 Darcy Regier.]
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
fire bucky gleason
We took a bit of a break here at Fire Bucky Gleason, because Bucky spent time at the Olympics and then, for reasons not entirely clear (to anyone), he was assigned to cover Syracuse's flame out NCAA tournament appearance. Thanks to that we had to endure a pretty dry spell, at least in terms of Bucky's Sabres commentary. Well, March Madness has ended, Bucky no longer has any reason to get indignant over the mistreatment of our ski jumping program, and the Sabres happen to be marching toward the playoffs. But, of course, nobody's excited about it. Because, as we've detailed here, the Sabres suck.
In the dressing room afterward, they proudly donned caps commemorating the Northeast Division title and enjoyed the moment if only for a short time. At 9:47 p.m., Ryan Miller glanced at the clock and announced he had 2 hours and 13 minutes, until midnight, to celebrate before getting back to work.
Borderline irrelevant sidenote to the entire NHL season: the Sabres have won the Northeast Division.
The Sabres all season have emphasized the need to temper their emotions in good times and bad. Miller, their franchise goaltender and primary source of hope, wasn't about to go overboard Tuesday night after they clinched the division with a convincing 5-2 victory over the New York Rangers.
The New York Rangers are captained by Chris Drury.
"It's a stop along the way," he said. "In baseball, they win the pennant and everybody goes crazy with champagne at the end. I never understood it. We have our hats and T-shirts, smile and have a little fun, crank a little music. You have to take time to say it feels good, but we're not going to be satisfied."
Pretty reasonable quote from Miller (assuming it's Miller talking and not just Bucky making things up again.
It explains why the Sabres weren't overly jubilant after the game, but they understood this season has been nothing to sneer at, either. Division titles don't come around often in this town. The Sabres won their division just six times in 40 years since joining the NHL. Overall, it has been a pretty good season.
Get the sense we're in the midst of another shining example of Bucky's persuasive writing? I do. "The Sabres have, overall, played well. They've done something relatively rare, and deserve to be patted on the back. So, in conclusion, they suck."
Funny, but the Sabres' rise in the division and flirtation with the top of the conference has been met mostly with disenchantment or guarded optimism. HSBC Arena often felt like a morgue before coming to life Tuesday night. The irrepressible buzz that comes with a playoff team has been mysteriously absent.
It's been met "mostly" with "disenchantment or guarded optimism" because they've had a playoff spot wrapped up since January, and Ottawa gifted them the division in the first week of March. Will someone1 please remind everyone that Buffalo hasn't had to play a hockey game with any actual legitimate meaning since Christmas? Please? The "irrepressible buzz" isn't mysteriously absent. We have to suffer through three completely pointless regular season games before the playoffs start. Why get excited about the playoffs now, when we still have to endure 180 minutes of throwaway hockey? Saying the fans aren't excited about playoff hockey because there isn't a "buzz" is like saying your kid's not excited about Christmas because he's not bouncing off the walls on Christmas Eve.
My sense is that this isn't a Buffalo sports thing, where fans are reluctant to climb aboard because they fear getting their hearts broken. They simply haven't been able to trust the Sabres' success, haven't been overly impressed and aren't about to shower the organization with praise until it's worthy.
Northeast Division title, toying with second overall in the conference. At least one win against nearly every top team in the league. All-world goaltender, plus a Calder trophy candidate on the blue line AND promising rookies for next year. The team seems pretty worthy of praise to me.
The Sabres released 2,000 playoff tickets for sale on Monday. In the first season after the lockout, when they showed more promise despite finishing second in the division, the tickets would have been gone in about 15 minutes. There were still a few available Tuesday.
This isn't apples to oranges, this is apples to chocolate ice cream. Playoff tickets sold out quick in 2006 because we had just had a full season of hockey stolen from us because the owners and players are stupid. Also, the economy was in a much better state than it is now. But way to take one small, marginally applicable fact and essentially use it as the basis for your entire argument.
See, you can't fool Buffalo fans.
Sure you can. You've been fooling them into thinking their team sucks since October.
The Sabres have a 16-14-6 record since Jan. 9. They have seven wins in 20 games over teams that were still in the playoffs Tuesday night. We're not talking about a little hiccup here. Thirty-six games is a large enough sample size, especially in the second half of the season, to create doubt.
First, hat tip to Fire Joe Morgan. I think those guys single-handedly inserted "sample size" into the modern sports lexicon. More importantly, Bucky, while "correct" is also a cherry picking bastard. He picked the 36 games that prove his point while ignoring the previous two (both wins, of course) that would round out the whole "second half of the season."
Also, there is no qualitative analysis. Just a random mention of "sample size" to make it look official, plus reference to ominous stats. Two can play that game, friend. Over the course of the entire season (a bigger sample size), Buffalo has collected wins against each of the top two teams in each conference. You know who has lost all twelve games against those same teams? Nobody important.
Plus, every single effing team has room for doubt. When has there ever been a team that could say "Hey, these playoffs are a mere formality. Just give us the Cup." Never.
Just know they have the X factor in Miller, who had fans on their feet in the second period Tuesday when he robbed Marian Gaborik with a ridiculous blocker save that warranted time in the state pen. (legal metaphor tag!) It was the kind of stop that reassured people that anything can happen if he gets on a roll in the postseason.
So, the Sabres suck, but even sucky teams can accomplish something too. Stay tuned, I guess.
Remember, too, that winning in the playoffs is a learning process. It often takes a few years before players understand how to play under pressure. They need to regain that experience, from their veterans down to their good young players, knowing they're onto something special in the coming years.
Regain what experience? I thought you had to learn it, and we don't have it, so wouldn't we have to "gain" that experience? If we already have it, which "regain" suggests we do, we should be good to go. What the hell?
Sabres managing partner Larry Quinn said a few years ago that the master plan called for winning the Cup and giving Buffalo its first major sports championship. He didn't have a specific timetable, which always makes you curious,
No it doesn't. It makes sense. Why the hell would you put out a specific timetable? "We're going to win the Cup within five years, book it." You look like every other idiot who makes guarantees in sports.
but common sense suggested it would take four or five years. This is the third season.
So, we're right smack dab in the middle of a rebuilding process. Not only should we be excited about how well they're playing now, we should also be excited about how well we could be playing next year or the year after.
The buzz should return in the first round. Perhaps they can gain some momentum if they reach the second round. You would certainly like their chances with Miller if they somehow played in the conference finals. There's also the likelihood, after watching them for the past three months, of them being eliminated in the first round.
Wooo! Prediction central!! The Sabres may reach the second round. Or maybe they'll play in the conference finals. Or may they'll get eliminated in the first round. Any more bold prognostications there Nostradamus? How about "the Sabres will play hockey later next week" or "at some point, during their first round match-up, one of the teams will score a goal." This qualifies as compensable sports commentary and analysis?
For now, tip your cap to them and enjoy the moment while you can.
I'm going to enjoy it for a while. Only one team wins the Cup, only one team gets to skate on into the offseason sunset happy. I hate this bizarre "second place is the first loser" mentality that says because you didn't win it all your entire season was pretty much a waste and we should all really shoot ourselves. The Sabres have played well this year, and I've had fun watching them. Why should I get all bent out of shape because the Sabres may (gasp!) lose in the playoffs?? I've been buzzing about the playoffs since Buffalo started strong out of the gate, and can't wait for it to start. Bring it on, it's going to be one hell of a ride. I'm ready.
1 - Besides me.
In the dressing room afterward, they proudly donned caps commemorating the Northeast Division title and enjoyed the moment if only for a short time. At 9:47 p.m., Ryan Miller glanced at the clock and announced he had 2 hours and 13 minutes, until midnight, to celebrate before getting back to work.
Borderline irrelevant sidenote to the entire NHL season: the Sabres have won the Northeast Division.
The Sabres all season have emphasized the need to temper their emotions in good times and bad. Miller, their franchise goaltender and primary source of hope, wasn't about to go overboard Tuesday night after they clinched the division with a convincing 5-2 victory over the New York Rangers.
The New York Rangers are captained by Chris Drury.
"It's a stop along the way," he said. "In baseball, they win the pennant and everybody goes crazy with champagne at the end. I never understood it. We have our hats and T-shirts, smile and have a little fun, crank a little music. You have to take time to say it feels good, but we're not going to be satisfied."
Pretty reasonable quote from Miller (assuming it's Miller talking and not just Bucky making things up again.
It explains why the Sabres weren't overly jubilant after the game, but they understood this season has been nothing to sneer at, either. Division titles don't come around often in this town. The Sabres won their division just six times in 40 years since joining the NHL. Overall, it has been a pretty good season.
Get the sense we're in the midst of another shining example of Bucky's persuasive writing? I do. "The Sabres have, overall, played well. They've done something relatively rare, and deserve to be patted on the back. So, in conclusion, they suck."
Funny, but the Sabres' rise in the division and flirtation with the top of the conference has been met mostly with disenchantment or guarded optimism. HSBC Arena often felt like a morgue before coming to life Tuesday night. The irrepressible buzz that comes with a playoff team has been mysteriously absent.
It's been met "mostly" with "disenchantment or guarded optimism" because they've had a playoff spot wrapped up since January, and Ottawa gifted them the division in the first week of March. Will someone1 please remind everyone that Buffalo hasn't had to play a hockey game with any actual legitimate meaning since Christmas? Please? The "irrepressible buzz" isn't mysteriously absent. We have to suffer through three completely pointless regular season games before the playoffs start. Why get excited about the playoffs now, when we still have to endure 180 minutes of throwaway hockey? Saying the fans aren't excited about playoff hockey because there isn't a "buzz" is like saying your kid's not excited about Christmas because he's not bouncing off the walls on Christmas Eve.
My sense is that this isn't a Buffalo sports thing, where fans are reluctant to climb aboard because they fear getting their hearts broken. They simply haven't been able to trust the Sabres' success, haven't been overly impressed and aren't about to shower the organization with praise until it's worthy.
Northeast Division title, toying with second overall in the conference. At least one win against nearly every top team in the league. All-world goaltender, plus a Calder trophy candidate on the blue line AND promising rookies for next year. The team seems pretty worthy of praise to me.
The Sabres released 2,000 playoff tickets for sale on Monday. In the first season after the lockout, when they showed more promise despite finishing second in the division, the tickets would have been gone in about 15 minutes. There were still a few available Tuesday.
This isn't apples to oranges, this is apples to chocolate ice cream. Playoff tickets sold out quick in 2006 because we had just had a full season of hockey stolen from us because the owners and players are stupid. Also, the economy was in a much better state than it is now. But way to take one small, marginally applicable fact and essentially use it as the basis for your entire argument.
See, you can't fool Buffalo fans.
Sure you can. You've been fooling them into thinking their team sucks since October.
The Sabres have a 16-14-6 record since Jan. 9. They have seven wins in 20 games over teams that were still in the playoffs Tuesday night. We're not talking about a little hiccup here. Thirty-six games is a large enough sample size, especially in the second half of the season, to create doubt.
First, hat tip to Fire Joe Morgan. I think those guys single-handedly inserted "sample size" into the modern sports lexicon. More importantly, Bucky, while "correct" is also a cherry picking bastard. He picked the 36 games that prove his point while ignoring the previous two (both wins, of course) that would round out the whole "second half of the season."
Also, there is no qualitative analysis. Just a random mention of "sample size" to make it look official, plus reference to ominous stats. Two can play that game, friend. Over the course of the entire season (a bigger sample size), Buffalo has collected wins against each of the top two teams in each conference. You know who has lost all twelve games against those same teams? Nobody important.
Plus, every single effing team has room for doubt. When has there ever been a team that could say "Hey, these playoffs are a mere formality. Just give us the Cup." Never.
Just know they have the X factor in Miller, who had fans on their feet in the second period Tuesday when he robbed Marian Gaborik with a ridiculous blocker save that warranted time in the state pen. (legal metaphor tag!) It was the kind of stop that reassured people that anything can happen if he gets on a roll in the postseason.
So, the Sabres suck, but even sucky teams can accomplish something too. Stay tuned, I guess.
Remember, too, that winning in the playoffs is a learning process. It often takes a few years before players understand how to play under pressure. They need to regain that experience, from their veterans down to their good young players, knowing they're onto something special in the coming years.
Regain what experience? I thought you had to learn it, and we don't have it, so wouldn't we have to "gain" that experience? If we already have it, which "regain" suggests we do, we should be good to go. What the hell?
Sabres managing partner Larry Quinn said a few years ago that the master plan called for winning the Cup and giving Buffalo its first major sports championship. He didn't have a specific timetable, which always makes you curious,
No it doesn't. It makes sense. Why the hell would you put out a specific timetable? "We're going to win the Cup within five years, book it." You look like every other idiot who makes guarantees in sports.
but common sense suggested it would take four or five years. This is the third season.
So, we're right smack dab in the middle of a rebuilding process. Not only should we be excited about how well they're playing now, we should also be excited about how well we could be playing next year or the year after.
The buzz should return in the first round. Perhaps they can gain some momentum if they reach the second round. You would certainly like their chances with Miller if they somehow played in the conference finals. There's also the likelihood, after watching them for the past three months, of them being eliminated in the first round.
Wooo! Prediction central!! The Sabres may reach the second round. Or maybe they'll play in the conference finals. Or may they'll get eliminated in the first round. Any more bold prognostications there Nostradamus? How about "the Sabres will play hockey later next week" or "at some point, during their first round match-up, one of the teams will score a goal." This qualifies as compensable sports commentary and analysis?
For now, tip your cap to them and enjoy the moment while you can.
I'm going to enjoy it for a while. Only one team wins the Cup, only one team gets to skate on into the offseason sunset happy. I hate this bizarre "second place is the first loser" mentality that says because you didn't win it all your entire season was pretty much a waste and we should all really shoot ourselves. The Sabres have played well this year, and I've had fun watching them. Why should I get all bent out of shape because the Sabres may (gasp!) lose in the playoffs?? I've been buzzing about the playoffs since Buffalo started strong out of the gate, and can't wait for it to start. Bring it on, it's going to be one hell of a ride. I'm ready.
1 - Besides me.
Monday, March 29, 2010
fire bucky gleason, more dumb micro-analysis edition
I really hope Buffalo finally breaks its funk against the Ottawa Senators. In part because I really hate Ottawa, but mostly because I'm sick of hearing everybody harping about how lousy we are when we play Ottawa. By losing 3-21 we get subjected to drivel like this. Unfortunately, when we get to points like Friday night, Bucky gets emboldened.
I'd be lying if I didn't have my own reservations about our recent play against Ottawa. But, at the same time, every team has its foil somewhere. Another team that just gets the bounces, the battles, and the breaks, and figures you out. Bill Belichick and Tom Brady are something like 198,753-15 (this is just an estimate based on all the sports journalism I've read since 2001 on the subject) against all non-Miami Dolphins NFL teams. However, in that same span, the same guys are 10-9 against the Dolphins. It happens.
I also take solace in the fact that, playoff-wise, in our last ten games against Ottawa, we are 5-5. Of those ten games, nine (9) (!) were decided by a single solitary goal. Six of those games were settled in overtime (including one in double overtime). That doesn't sound like domination by anybody, it sounds like an exceptionally dead heat where the teams are so evenly matched it comes down to crazy things like getting a bounce or break. Nobody is clearly outworked. I know what you're thinking2, "But, patrick.m3, the Sens are approximately 97-1-18 against Buffalo in the regular season since the lockout." Fine. You are correct, you fatalistic "glass-is-only-a-quarter-full" fan so typical of those in and around Buffalo. The reality is that the NHL regular season is a completely different animal than the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs. More on that later.
michael.w got to this first because I had sick kids all weekend. My comments are in italics because I'm better looking.
Patrick Kaleta wasted no time Friday night proving he's capable of dropping more than F- bombs. Our lovable local favorite dropped alternating overhand and uppercut bombs with his left hand on Zack Smith a few minutes into the game before dropping the Ottawa rookie to his knees in a heap.
What the hell does this have to with flaming out in the playoffs?
In what is becoming his post-scrap custom at home, the winger waved his arms on his way to the penalty box in a plea to his neighbors to bring more energy and raise the roof in HSBC Arena. Kaleta should have made an about face and summoned for more from the players sitting on his own bench.
Custom? This is exactly the second time Kaleta has done this. Last week, I twice had a roast beef sandwich for lunch instead of turkey. I guess a roast beef sandwich is now my "custom" sandwich. And why should he have turned to the Sabres bench? Isn't the standard cliche in hockey that fight energizes the team, sans turning and summoning more from the players on his own bench?
"It gives you that extra ounce of energy, that extra boost, and the fans are cheering and the atmosphere picks up. Then, we're ready to go," Kaleta said. "We played pretty well in certain areas, but we could have played a little bit better, a little more fearless and with a little more determination. That fight was trying to get something going."
At this count we are through three paragraphs of Patrick Kaleta masturbation and not a single mention of the Sabres and playoff possibilities.
[Ed's Note: I'd also like to point out that Bucky devoted a full paragraph of quotes attributable to Patrick Kaleta, none of which actually said, you know, anything.]
It clearly wasn't enough, but at least Kaleta gave it a whirl.
I thought he didn't "give it a whirl." Only focusing on the crowd and not the much needed attention that bench required. As an aside, isn't it the job of Lindy Ruff to keep the players on their toes and motivated, not the team agitator?
[Ed's Note: It's not Lindy's fault. ThomasVanek Vanish doesn't care about the fans, and just loafs through everything. He definitely does NOT park himself in front of the net and get brutally assaulted to score any of his goals. The only players that do care about the fans (and, therefore, the only players who the fans should care about) are Miller, Myers, Kennedy, Kaleta, and (presumably) Grier.]
The Sabres had an opportunity to clinch a playoff berth Friday night, a formality that will take place with a victory tonight over Tampa Bay or at some point soon. They're almost certain to win the division. They have the best goaltender in the league in Ryan Miller.
[Ed's Note: This is Bucky's attempt at persuasive writing... line up everything that goes against what you believe. The Sabres have accumulated so many points their playoff spot, even without clinching, was all but guaranteed. They are "almost certain" to win the division, despite giving Ottawa ten points in the five games they've played so far (and only earning, like, two). They have the "best goaltender in the league", which is actually a gross understatement. Ryan Miller was named tournament MVP at the Olympics. Therefore, he is the best player in the world.]
But is anybody really convinced a contending team is in our midst?
Yes. They have the best goaltender in the league. And I seem to recall that having the best goaltender in the league can often cover the blemishes of a sub par team, particularly come playoff time. And yes, I picked this picture of Hasek because it makes fun of Flyers fans.
[Ed's Note: I should hope people are convinced this team can "contend." I'm not saying we'll win the Cup. That's a longshot, I admit. But name me one "contending" team that has above average goaltending. Washington rotates between Varlamov and Theodore, so hopefully their offense can carry them. Though we saw in 2007 that an electric offense in the regular season don't mean squat come playoff time. Chicago is slumping, and has to rely on Huet. Luongo is slumping. Brodeur is about 97. The Sharks are, well, the Sharks. Pittsburgh will be addressed later. So, yeah, since you asked, I'm convinced. We have a shot. There are better teams out there, but the team that wins the Cup isn't necessarily the best. It's the one that manages 16 wins in the playoffs, however earned.]
Uh, no.
Yes, this man is a professional writer. Only he can come up with literary beauty like the preceding sentence.
[Ed's Note: Persuasive writing at its finest. "You know all those things that contradict the point I'm trying to make? Uh, ignore them." I'm sure Bucky will follow this thesis (which, I might add, we don't get until almost a third of the way through this nonsense) with evidence and argument in support of his main premise.]
And that has been the issue of late, even when the Sabres rattled off four straight victories to get into position to wrap up a playoff spot. They have a good team,
[Ed's Note: I'd just like to remind everyone that Bucky is trying to tell us all that the Sabres suck and have no chance at winning the Cup. So far his primary (by which I mean "only") support here is that 1. the Sabres recently won four games in a row and 2. have a good team.]
but they're not scaring anyone with their mediocre play over the past two months. The Senators certainly aren't worried about them, not after a 4-2 victory for their ninth straight win over the Sabres.
But they're winning. Who cares? Perhaps, seeing their comfortable spot in the standing, the Sabres have either intentionally or unintentionally set everything on cruise control knowing the two month grind of the playoffs is ahead of them.
[Ed's Note: Quite the juxtaposition here. The Sabres have just won four in a row, but are not scaring anyone with their mediocre play. Two things here: first, assuming Bucky is correct, we should be pleased that they're winning games with sheer mediocrity. Imagine what will happen in the playoffs if they don't play mediocre. Second, is that Bucky is not correct. But, he's a person paid to professionally offer insight and commentary on sports (particularly hockey). He can't be wrong.]
The Sabres had an opportunity to lock up the playoffs against a team that has given them problems, but they treated much of the game like some Tuesday game against Columbus in November.
It was a Friday game against Ottawa in March. Not a game in April, May or June, which actually would be an important game, regardless of opponent.
[Ed's Note: I'd like to point out that a Tuesday game against Columbus in November is worth the exact same amount of points as a Friday game against Ottawa in March. Also, what the hell does the day of the week have to do with anything? Seriously?]
Here's a disturbing stat: since Feb. 1, the Sabres have one regulation victory over a team currently in the playoffs. It was against a San Jose team that was finishing off a road trip and was running for the bus before the Olympics. Otherwise, it has been a string of mostly mediocre play, good fortune and poor opponents.
Nice job adding a thousand prerequisites. February was a month shortened by half because of the Olympic break. Good sample size.
[Ed's Note: Qualify qualify qualify. Let's see, the Sabres are 9-5-1 since the Olympic break. The Sabres beat Boston (a team currently in the playoffs) last night, which was admittedly after this steaming of pile of journalism was published. Four wins came against down and out teams (also known as "teams with absolutely nothing to lose"). Two other wins came against Eastern playoff teams (Philly and Montreal), including an overtime win against the Flyers. You do realize that overtime goals, and therefore overtime wins, count in the playoffs right? Only the Canadiens game was won in a shootout. Of those five losses, three were by one goal (all to teams in the playoffs, or desperate to make the playoffs at the time), plus the "two goal" loss to Ottawa, and a two goal loss to Washington. So, yeah, this reeks of mediocrity. Especially from a team that, once Ottawa (remember them) stumbled out of the break to the tune of 1-7-1, had roughly nothing to play for.]
The problem Friday night wasn't effort alone. It also was execution. They fired 43 shots at Sens goalie Brian Elliott, but most came from the outside until the third period. Jason Pominville made it interesting when he snapped home a wrister from the left circle early in the third period, but that was it.
[Ed's Note: Prove that "most" of the shots came from the outside. Seriously. Prove it. 43 shots is a lot of effing shots. The Sabres put 17 on net in the first period alone. Brian Elliott made some big saves. It happens.]
Thomas Vanek could have tied the game midway through the third, but his slap shot from between the circles on a breakaway rang off the post. Tough luck. Elliott made several big saves for Ottawa. Buffalo dominated most of the final period but ultimately it wasn't enough against a division rival that's behind them in the standings.
WOW! Got a long way before the sports cliches about effort and execution were dusted off. And dammit Thomas Vanek! You suck. In any event, congratulations on being the first NHL player to ever hit the post on a breakaway.
[Ed's Note: Seriously, cut Vanek. Trade him for a bag of pucks. Thanks to Vanek, shooters on breakaways are now 1,098,764/1,098,765 in terms of scoring production. To quote Charlie Conway, "if he was three inches to the left, he would've missed entirely." What a loser.]
If there's a positive they can take from the game Friday, it's that the Senators' win pushed them three points ahead of Montreal for fifth place in the conference, decreasing the chances of Buffalo meeting Ottawa in the first round.
Something we actually agree on. In sports, sometimes a team has another's number, regardless of record. It happens. Better to have Ottawa eliminated by Pittsburgh.
If Buffalo is going to be taken seriously in the postseason, it must figure out a way to get through teams like Ottawa.
Didn't you say immediately before this that they would not have to face Ottawa?
[Ed's Note: Name me another team "like Ottawa." What you want to say is "because we can't beat Ottawa, we suck and can never contend for a Cup." So say that. Now we have to worry about teams "like" Ottawa, even though you don't suggest any team dominates Buffalo like Ottawa does. You know who should be worried? Pittsburgh. The Pens are 0-8-1 against New Jersey and Washington this year, and are likely to meet one (or both) in the playoffs. The Sabres, by comparison, are 3-4 against the Devils and Capitals. Not great, but not winless. But, because we all must kneel at the altar of Crosby, Pens = contender, Sabres = sad pathetic jerks who have no business even suiting up in a playoff game.]
The Sabres have tried passing it off as just one of those strange things in sports. Sorry, but nine straight losses to the same team over two seasons can't be dismissed as some crazy fluke.
It is one of those crazy things in sports. Do you watch sports?
[Ed's Note: To help make sense of this, I'm going to substitute Pittsburgh. "The Penguins have tried passing it off as just one of those strange things in sports. Sorry, but nine straight losses to two top conference teams in the same season can't be dimissed as some crazy fluke."]
The Sabres can look at their record through 73 games and be satisfied, but they're kidding themselves if they think they can make any noise in the postseason in their current state.
Why should they be satisfied? And what current state should we be worried about, the state that had them, just two nights earlier scrap and claw their way to win against a playoff team when they were clearly outplayed? Of course, it is Bucky perhaps he just means the state of New York.
"It's not a fluke. Very rarely is it a fluke," Paul Gaustad said. "It's us committing 60 minutes against these guys. We can't be scared. We have to go after them. They paid attention to details, and we didn't. Enough is enough. We have to beat teams like this to get past any round in the playoffs. We have to be better, and we have to prove it."
Diligent reporter obtains cliched quotes from athlete: Check.
[Ed's Note: A paragraph attributed this time to Paul Gaustad, who, like Patrick Kaleta before him, says basically nothing.]
Lindy Ruff knows darned well the jury is still out on his team, and deep down he has questions of his own about them. Ruff suggested Friday morning that they can beat anybody in the East when they play their game, but he's not really sure. In fact, anybody predicting how the Sabres' will respond in the postseason is merely taking a guess based on old evidence.
The jury (here we go with legal references again) is still out on all of the teams that will make the playoffs. For instance, if the Caps run the table and win it all, they will validate their regular season dominance. If they fall anywhere short of a Cup, they choke. That's how it works in sports. Play the result and look like an expert after the fact. Oh and basing something on evidence, old, new or in between, is the exact opposite of guessing.
[Ed's Note: In light of Bucky's continued legal references, I am creating the legal metaphor tag.]
Vanek played well the last time they were in the postseason, for example, but he was a third-line winger who avoided lines designed specifically to stop him. Same goes for Derek Roy. Tim Connolly played only 24 playoff games in his first nine seasons. Six players on the roster have played none. Drew Stafford played 10 as a rookie.
And Brad Lidge was a perennial playoff choke artist, based on old evidence related guessing. Then, in 2008, he was perfect all through the post-season and led the Phillies to World Series and became "clutch." Then in 2009 he basically stunk again and everyone (playing the result) said they knew he would blow because he did so often in the past. See also Cole Hamels.
[Ed's Note: Alex Rodriguez is instructive here. Pre-2009, A-Rod sucked. He never won a title. He wasn't clutch. He wasn't a True Yankee. He lacked a certain "Jetery" quality. He was overpaid and undertalented, and would never win the big one. Not even for the Yankees. Now? He's a clutch superstars with a Ring. It's all stupid.]
The truth is it comes down to how they play over three periods. They played 58 listless minutes against the Canadiens and pulled out a victory. They've slept through the first period a few times and won. They didn't play well for the first two periods Friday, and they paid a price with a playoff berth waiting.
In the end, they failed to put up a strong enough fight.
And clinched the berth exactly one night after, so who cares?
[Ed's Note: What price did they pay, besides not fulfilling their end of a bizarre grudge match that exists primarily in the minds of local fans and sports media? Ottawa didn't take the division lead (which, I might, they had outright at the beginning of this month, which Bucky says is right in the middle of Buffalo's "mediocre" stretch), and barely even closed the gap. Thanks to two wins since Friday, the Sabres' magic number is 6. Ottawa has all the pressure here, Buffalo has no pressure beyond what they put on themselves because they keep losing to the Senators.]
"We've had enough lessons here over the last month," winger Mike Grier said. "Hopefully, it will start to sink in. We've got two weeks left in the season, and they're an example of what you have to do to win games. You've got to work hard and do all the little things. We didn't do enough of that."
Wasn't Grier's presence providing "leadership" supposed to prevent all of this anyways? Maybe all those sports cliches are BS.
To summarize: the Sabres suck, will be swept in the first round so don't buy tickets and don't watch the playoff games on TV. If you do, you're dumb.
1 - I know Daniel Alfredsson "scored" in the final second to make the official score 4-2. But since the clock read zero, I figure the goal doesn't count. If it did, there would have to be a faceoff. Not that it matters, it doesn't change the outcome, but it still seems stupid to give Alfie a free stat.
2 - I've demonstrated this before, don't be alarmed.
3 - Thank you for having the courtesy of using my pseudonym.
I'd be lying if I didn't have my own reservations about our recent play against Ottawa. But, at the same time, every team has its foil somewhere. Another team that just gets the bounces, the battles, and the breaks, and figures you out. Bill Belichick and Tom Brady are something like 198,753-15 (this is just an estimate based on all the sports journalism I've read since 2001 on the subject) against all non-Miami Dolphins NFL teams. However, in that same span, the same guys are 10-9 against the Dolphins. It happens.
I also take solace in the fact that, playoff-wise, in our last ten games against Ottawa, we are 5-5. Of those ten games, nine (9) (!) were decided by a single solitary goal. Six of those games were settled in overtime (including one in double overtime). That doesn't sound like domination by anybody, it sounds like an exceptionally dead heat where the teams are so evenly matched it comes down to crazy things like getting a bounce or break. Nobody is clearly outworked. I know what you're thinking2, "But, patrick.m3, the Sens are approximately 97-1-18 against Buffalo in the regular season since the lockout." Fine. You are correct, you fatalistic "glass-is-only-a-quarter-full" fan so typical of those in and around Buffalo. The reality is that the NHL regular season is a completely different animal than the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs. More on that later.
michael.w got to this first because I had sick kids all weekend. My comments are in italics because I'm better looking.
Patrick Kaleta wasted no time Friday night proving he's capable of dropping more than F- bombs. Our lovable local favorite dropped alternating overhand and uppercut bombs with his left hand on Zack Smith a few minutes into the game before dropping the Ottawa rookie to his knees in a heap.
What the hell does this have to with flaming out in the playoffs?
In what is becoming his post-scrap custom at home, the winger waved his arms on his way to the penalty box in a plea to his neighbors to bring more energy and raise the roof in HSBC Arena. Kaleta should have made an about face and summoned for more from the players sitting on his own bench.
Custom? This is exactly the second time Kaleta has done this. Last week, I twice had a roast beef sandwich for lunch instead of turkey. I guess a roast beef sandwich is now my "custom" sandwich. And why should he have turned to the Sabres bench? Isn't the standard cliche in hockey that fight energizes the team, sans turning and summoning more from the players on his own bench?
"It gives you that extra ounce of energy, that extra boost, and the fans are cheering and the atmosphere picks up. Then, we're ready to go," Kaleta said. "We played pretty well in certain areas, but we could have played a little bit better, a little more fearless and with a little more determination. That fight was trying to get something going."
At this count we are through three paragraphs of Patrick Kaleta masturbation and not a single mention of the Sabres and playoff possibilities.
[Ed's Note: I'd also like to point out that Bucky devoted a full paragraph of quotes attributable to Patrick Kaleta, none of which actually said, you know, anything.]
It clearly wasn't enough, but at least Kaleta gave it a whirl.
I thought he didn't "give it a whirl." Only focusing on the crowd and not the much needed attention that bench required. As an aside, isn't it the job of Lindy Ruff to keep the players on their toes and motivated, not the team agitator?
[Ed's Note: It's not Lindy's fault. Thomas
The Sabres had an opportunity to clinch a playoff berth Friday night, a formality that will take place with a victory tonight over Tampa Bay or at some point soon. They're almost certain to win the division. They have the best goaltender in the league in Ryan Miller.
[Ed's Note: This is Bucky's attempt at persuasive writing... line up everything that goes against what you believe. The Sabres have accumulated so many points their playoff spot, even without clinching, was all but guaranteed. They are "almost certain" to win the division, despite giving Ottawa ten points in the five games they've played so far (and only earning, like, two). They have the "best goaltender in the league", which is actually a gross understatement. Ryan Miller was named tournament MVP at the Olympics. Therefore, he is the best player in the world.]
But is anybody really convinced a contending team is in our midst?
Yes. They have the best goaltender in the league. And I seem to recall that having the best goaltender in the league can often cover the blemishes of a sub par team, particularly come playoff time. And yes, I picked this picture of Hasek because it makes fun of Flyers fans.
[Ed's Note: I should hope people are convinced this team can "contend." I'm not saying we'll win the Cup. That's a longshot, I admit. But name me one "contending" team that has above average goaltending. Washington rotates between Varlamov and Theodore, so hopefully their offense can carry them. Though we saw in 2007 that an electric offense in the regular season don't mean squat come playoff time. Chicago is slumping, and has to rely on Huet. Luongo is slumping. Brodeur is about 97. The Sharks are, well, the Sharks. Pittsburgh will be addressed later. So, yeah, since you asked, I'm convinced. We have a shot. There are better teams out there, but the team that wins the Cup isn't necessarily the best. It's the one that manages 16 wins in the playoffs, however earned.]
Uh, no.
Yes, this man is a professional writer. Only he can come up with literary beauty like the preceding sentence.
[Ed's Note: Persuasive writing at its finest. "You know all those things that contradict the point I'm trying to make? Uh, ignore them." I'm sure Bucky will follow this thesis (which, I might add, we don't get until almost a third of the way through this nonsense) with evidence and argument in support of his main premise.]
And that has been the issue of late, even when the Sabres rattled off four straight victories to get into position to wrap up a playoff spot. They have a good team,
[Ed's Note: I'd just like to remind everyone that Bucky is trying to tell us all that the Sabres suck and have no chance at winning the Cup. So far his primary (by which I mean "only") support here is that 1. the Sabres recently won four games in a row and 2. have a good team.]
but they're not scaring anyone with their mediocre play over the past two months. The Senators certainly aren't worried about them, not after a 4-2 victory for their ninth straight win over the Sabres.
But they're winning. Who cares? Perhaps, seeing their comfortable spot in the standing, the Sabres have either intentionally or unintentionally set everything on cruise control knowing the two month grind of the playoffs is ahead of them.
[Ed's Note: Quite the juxtaposition here. The Sabres have just won four in a row, but are not scaring anyone with their mediocre play. Two things here: first, assuming Bucky is correct, we should be pleased that they're winning games with sheer mediocrity. Imagine what will happen in the playoffs if they don't play mediocre. Second, is that Bucky is not correct. But, he's a person paid to professionally offer insight and commentary on sports (particularly hockey). He can't be wrong.]
The Sabres had an opportunity to lock up the playoffs against a team that has given them problems, but they treated much of the game like some Tuesday game against Columbus in November.
It was a Friday game against Ottawa in March. Not a game in April, May or June, which actually would be an important game, regardless of opponent.
[Ed's Note: I'd like to point out that a Tuesday game against Columbus in November is worth the exact same amount of points as a Friday game against Ottawa in March. Also, what the hell does the day of the week have to do with anything? Seriously?]
Here's a disturbing stat: since Feb. 1, the Sabres have one regulation victory over a team currently in the playoffs. It was against a San Jose team that was finishing off a road trip and was running for the bus before the Olympics. Otherwise, it has been a string of mostly mediocre play, good fortune and poor opponents.
Nice job adding a thousand prerequisites. February was a month shortened by half because of the Olympic break. Good sample size.
[Ed's Note: Qualify qualify qualify. Let's see, the Sabres are 9-5-1 since the Olympic break. The Sabres beat Boston (a team currently in the playoffs) last night, which was admittedly after this steaming of pile of journalism was published. Four wins came against down and out teams (also known as "teams with absolutely nothing to lose"). Two other wins came against Eastern playoff teams (Philly and Montreal), including an overtime win against the Flyers. You do realize that overtime goals, and therefore overtime wins, count in the playoffs right? Only the Canadiens game was won in a shootout. Of those five losses, three were by one goal (all to teams in the playoffs, or desperate to make the playoffs at the time), plus the "two goal" loss to Ottawa, and a two goal loss to Washington. So, yeah, this reeks of mediocrity. Especially from a team that, once Ottawa (remember them) stumbled out of the break to the tune of 1-7-1, had roughly nothing to play for.]
The problem Friday night wasn't effort alone. It also was execution. They fired 43 shots at Sens goalie Brian Elliott, but most came from the outside until the third period. Jason Pominville made it interesting when he snapped home a wrister from the left circle early in the third period, but that was it.
[Ed's Note: Prove that "most" of the shots came from the outside. Seriously. Prove it. 43 shots is a lot of effing shots. The Sabres put 17 on net in the first period alone. Brian Elliott made some big saves. It happens.]
Thomas Vanek could have tied the game midway through the third, but his slap shot from between the circles on a breakaway rang off the post. Tough luck. Elliott made several big saves for Ottawa. Buffalo dominated most of the final period but ultimately it wasn't enough against a division rival that's behind them in the standings.
WOW! Got a long way before the sports cliches about effort and execution were dusted off. And dammit Thomas Vanek! You suck. In any event, congratulations on being the first NHL player to ever hit the post on a breakaway.
[Ed's Note: Seriously, cut Vanek. Trade him for a bag of pucks. Thanks to Vanek, shooters on breakaways are now 1,098,764/1,098,765 in terms of scoring production. To quote Charlie Conway, "if he was three inches to the left, he would've missed entirely." What a loser.]
If there's a positive they can take from the game Friday, it's that the Senators' win pushed them three points ahead of Montreal for fifth place in the conference, decreasing the chances of Buffalo meeting Ottawa in the first round.
Something we actually agree on. In sports, sometimes a team has another's number, regardless of record. It happens. Better to have Ottawa eliminated by Pittsburgh.
If Buffalo is going to be taken seriously in the postseason, it must figure out a way to get through teams like Ottawa.
Didn't you say immediately before this that they would not have to face Ottawa?
[Ed's Note: Name me another team "like Ottawa." What you want to say is "because we can't beat Ottawa, we suck and can never contend for a Cup." So say that. Now we have to worry about teams "like" Ottawa, even though you don't suggest any team dominates Buffalo like Ottawa does. You know who should be worried? Pittsburgh. The Pens are 0-8-1 against New Jersey and Washington this year, and are likely to meet one (or both) in the playoffs. The Sabres, by comparison, are 3-4 against the Devils and Capitals. Not great, but not winless. But, because we all must kneel at the altar of Crosby, Pens = contender, Sabres = sad pathetic jerks who have no business even suiting up in a playoff game.]
The Sabres have tried passing it off as just one of those strange things in sports. Sorry, but nine straight losses to the same team over two seasons can't be dismissed as some crazy fluke.
It is one of those crazy things in sports. Do you watch sports?
[Ed's Note: To help make sense of this, I'm going to substitute Pittsburgh. "The Penguins have tried passing it off as just one of those strange things in sports. Sorry, but nine straight losses to two top conference teams in the same season can't be dimissed as some crazy fluke."]
The Sabres can look at their record through 73 games and be satisfied, but they're kidding themselves if they think they can make any noise in the postseason in their current state.
Why should they be satisfied? And what current state should we be worried about, the state that had them, just two nights earlier scrap and claw their way to win against a playoff team when they were clearly outplayed? Of course, it is Bucky perhaps he just means the state of New York.
"It's not a fluke. Very rarely is it a fluke," Paul Gaustad said. "It's us committing 60 minutes against these guys. We can't be scared. We have to go after them. They paid attention to details, and we didn't. Enough is enough. We have to beat teams like this to get past any round in the playoffs. We have to be better, and we have to prove it."
Diligent reporter obtains cliched quotes from athlete: Check.
[Ed's Note: A paragraph attributed this time to Paul Gaustad, who, like Patrick Kaleta before him, says basically nothing.]
Lindy Ruff knows darned well the jury is still out on his team, and deep down he has questions of his own about them. Ruff suggested Friday morning that they can beat anybody in the East when they play their game, but he's not really sure. In fact, anybody predicting how the Sabres' will respond in the postseason is merely taking a guess based on old evidence.
The jury (here we go with legal references again) is still out on all of the teams that will make the playoffs. For instance, if the Caps run the table and win it all, they will validate their regular season dominance. If they fall anywhere short of a Cup, they choke. That's how it works in sports. Play the result and look like an expert after the fact. Oh and basing something on evidence, old, new or in between, is the exact opposite of guessing.
[Ed's Note: In light of Bucky's continued legal references, I am creating the legal metaphor tag.]
Vanek played well the last time they were in the postseason, for example, but he was a third-line winger who avoided lines designed specifically to stop him. Same goes for Derek Roy. Tim Connolly played only 24 playoff games in his first nine seasons. Six players on the roster have played none. Drew Stafford played 10 as a rookie.
And Brad Lidge was a perennial playoff choke artist, based on old evidence related guessing. Then, in 2008, he was perfect all through the post-season and led the Phillies to World Series and became "clutch." Then in 2009 he basically stunk again and everyone (playing the result) said they knew he would blow because he did so often in the past. See also Cole Hamels.
[Ed's Note: Alex Rodriguez is instructive here. Pre-2009, A-Rod sucked. He never won a title. He wasn't clutch. He wasn't a True Yankee. He lacked a certain "Jetery" quality. He was overpaid and undertalented, and would never win the big one. Not even for the Yankees. Now? He's a clutch superstars with a Ring. It's all stupid.]
The truth is it comes down to how they play over three periods. They played 58 listless minutes against the Canadiens and pulled out a victory. They've slept through the first period a few times and won. They didn't play well for the first two periods Friday, and they paid a price with a playoff berth waiting.
In the end, they failed to put up a strong enough fight.
And clinched the berth exactly one night after, so who cares?
[Ed's Note: What price did they pay, besides not fulfilling their end of a bizarre grudge match that exists primarily in the minds of local fans and sports media? Ottawa didn't take the division lead (which, I might, they had outright at the beginning of this month, which Bucky says is right in the middle of Buffalo's "mediocre" stretch), and barely even closed the gap. Thanks to two wins since Friday, the Sabres' magic number is 6. Ottawa has all the pressure here, Buffalo has no pressure beyond what they put on themselves because they keep losing to the Senators.]
"We've had enough lessons here over the last month," winger Mike Grier said. "Hopefully, it will start to sink in. We've got two weeks left in the season, and they're an example of what you have to do to win games. You've got to work hard and do all the little things. We didn't do enough of that."
Wasn't Grier's presence providing "leadership" supposed to prevent all of this anyways? Maybe all those sports cliches are BS.
To summarize: the Sabres suck, will be swept in the first round so don't buy tickets and don't watch the playoff games on TV. If you do, you're dumb.
1 - I know Daniel Alfredsson "scored" in the final second to make the official score 4-2. But since the clock read zero, I figure the goal doesn't count. If it did, there would have to be a faceoff. Not that it matters, it doesn't change the outcome, but it still seems stupid to give Alfie a free stat.
2 - I've demonstrated this before, don't be alarmed.
3 - Thank you for having the courtesy of using my pseudonym.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
fire bucky gleason, quadrennial edition part two
Perhaps the worst thing that could've happened in the Olympics would've been Chris Drury scoring a crucial goal in an important game. Because then Bucky would be somewhat legitimized in writing essentially the same love letter he's been writing since Drury was inexplicably and unjustifiably insulted by Darcy Regier in 2007. Such that he was forced, in order to maintain his dignity, to sign a bloated contract offer from Glen Sather. Unfortunately, such fears came to pass.
What annoys me is the broad statements about 1. how lousy Canadian athletes in general are, and 2. how lousy the Canadian hockey team is. When, with half the Olympics to go, nobody was in a position to really say either. Micro-analysis is stupid in sports, even though sports journalists are guilty of it. To a fault. For example, the Sabres power play is currently like 2-78 or something in the last fifteen games. That sucks. But when they finally snapped their power play drought, they lost. In the previous game, one in which they didn't score a power play goal, they won 5-3. So, while a strong power play is certainly helpful in winning games, perhaps it's nothing more than correlative. Micro-analysis is stupid. Yet, here we are.
I have added some comments, in italics because they're generally funnier than what michael.w provided.
Lindy Ruff must have been having flashbacks Sunday evening as he stood behind the bench watching the whole thing unfold. Roll back the clocks a few years, back to when the Sabres marched to back-to-back conference finals and Ryan Miller would keep his team in games long enough for Chris Drury to win them.
Ruff wasn't available after Miller led the United States to a 5-3 upset victory over Canada, with plenty of help from his old buddy Drury, but something tells me he was a conflicted assistant coach for Canada following the game.
That happened once in the 2007 playoffs against the Rangers. And lest we forget that it was not Chris Drury who won that game he tied it. Max Afinogenov won the game.
Damn those guys, but somewhere deep down, good for them.
"Memories, huh," Miller said with a smile after making 42 saves in one of the best games of his career. "We're making new ones here."
Nobody should have any problem remembering this one for a while. The tension was palpable hours before the game and grew more intense inside as the slugfest carried along.
Slugfest. Yes I get it, the Sabres uniform looks like a slug.
And then there were the dizzying, suffocating, excruciating final 3½ minutes with Drury blocking shots and Miller making saves and, good heavens, get the puck out of the zone.
"Yeah," Drury said afterward. "It seemed like they had eight or nine guys out there."
See that, Chris Drury can shut down eight or nine guys!
[Ed's Note: That is, of course, because Chris Drury has the hockey talent, strength, and acumen of nine or ten guys. That's why he's paid so much. When you have Drury on your team, you only need to have three or four other skaters on the bench.]
Heck, anyone watching was exhausted.
Not anyone. I was quite comfortable. Sitting. Watching. Texting about 800 people about the game.
Drury didn't score the winner, but he had a big goal to give the Americans a 3-2 lead in the second period when he buried a loose puck.
In the Bucky Gleason dictionary, "Big Goal" is defined as "any goal scored by Chris Drury"
[Ed's Note: I just feel like it's worth noting that Drury did not score the game-winning goal. He scored the third goal of five. The Americans won 5-3. Each goal was important, but no bigger than any other. Kesler'shard-working clutch big gritty unnecessary empty net goal was probably more impressive.]
With the Yanks clinging to a 4-3 lead and the Canadians threatening to score for what felt like a month, he helped clear the zone with just more than a minute remaining.
Yanks? Was Jeter playing? Did A-Rod run Crosby into the boards. And if we are going to use quasi-offensive terms, why weren't Canadians "Canucks?"
[Ed's Note: Jeter was playing. Derek Jeter is the Chris Drury of baseball. To be entirely honest, between Jeter and Drury I'm surprised New York City hasn't melted to the ground what with all the clutch.]
"It was always great to play with Chris,"Miller Bucky Gleason said. "He was always a big-game player."
Vancouver Canucks forward Ryan Kesler's scored into an empty net moments later, and a collective moan could be heard from a sold-out crowd in his home building if not across this proud but suddenly very nervous hockey nation.
It wasn't "collective" because many people in attendance were cheering for Team USA and were pleased by Kesler's efforts. By the way, Miller played out of his effing skull and Rafalski had two goals. I am not a journalist, but in the interests of covering for someone else's lame attempt at journalism, I decided to mention that.
The rationale behind Canada's ambitious "Own the Podium" initiative made sense on the surface. Our neighbors needed a unifying cry with the 2010 Winter Olympics being staged on their home soil. It was designed to intensify training and provide better results.
Yes that long three day training period. After all, they needed it. All these player showed up so out of shape since they ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NHL SEASON!!
[Ed's Note: This is what I'm talking about with the incessant micro-analysis we're subjected to in sports these days. The NFL is particularly bad about it. Halfway through the Olympics, Canada was struggling to own the podium. By the end, they had won the most gold. So let's avoid saying anything grandiose, and stupid, about how lame Canada's Olympic team is.]
The United States — the "U.S. eh,"[rimshot] as one newspaper headline blared last week — had 24 medals overall going into Sunday night, six more than the Germans and 15 more than fourth-place Canada.
Own the podium? Please. Canada isn't qualified to rent the "P" and the "O."
[Ed's Note: Or, you know, don't.]
Plaschke-nanigans on me. I am P.O.ed about this pile of journalist crap.
But that's what Miller, South Buffalo native Patrick Kane, East Amherst-raised Brooks Orpik and the rest of the Americans were up against. It was a classification game, but the outcome meant more to Canada than it did anywhere else.
Thanks, by the way, for telling us where Ryan Kesler, Ryan Miller and Chris Drury are from. I guess it doesn't matter. I heard the telecast and Doc "Doc" Emrick say it every time any one of them touched the puck.
Hockey is the one thing — the one thing — Canada must get right. Now?
The United States advances to the quarterfinals. Canada must play an extra game to reach the medal round. Both teams remain in contention for all three medals.
Tickets that sold for $5,000 on the street a few days ago were going for $6,000 or more on a sunny afternoon near the Vancouver Canucks' home.
This paragraph reminds me of something Woody Paige said on "Around the Horn" today: "I can type 95 words a minute but none of them make any sense.
[Ed's Note: First, kudos to Woody Paige for being that self-aware. It's the first step towards recovery. Second, what the hell? Why are we being subjected to Bucky's journalistic stream of consciousness (where, I might add, we get the only genuine reporting of actual fact).]
Imagine the price next week, not to mention the anxiety, if these two hockey superpowers manage to meet again in the gold medal game. The locals estimate that tickets for the final game Sunday will sell for $12,000 apiece if Canada is one of the participants, even more if the Yanks wind up on the other side the opening face-off circle.
Imagine. Imagine if our writer could string together a coherent column
Look out, because the bloody Yanks look dangerous.
And also, look out because apparently the Olympic Committee is randomly moving the remaining events to Scotland.
The win Sunday was their first over Canada in international play since the 2001 world championships, ending a string of six straight losses.
Random fact dropped in with no connection to anything else. Thanks.
Brian Rafalski scored 41 seconds into the game while fans were still cheering "Go, Canada." Rafalski answered again later in the period when fans were still cheering for Eric Staal's goal.
Drury answered after Dany Heatley tied the game, 2-2. And Miller seemed to have all the answers en route to 42 saves.
YES!!! We finally get to the part where he actually breaks down the game!!!
[Ed's Note: We've now been told how the first three, and fifth, goals have been scored. Remember, Canada scored three. So the fourth goal was the game-winner. Keep that in mind.]
Drury, Miller, sound familiar?
Or Andy Sambergs over Drury and Miller again.
"Absolutely,"Kane Bucky Gleason said. "It's nice to see them step up. Ever since I was a Sabres' fan, Drury scored big goals. I remember the one against the Rangers. Big goals by him tonight, and Miller stood on his head."
[Ed's Note: I have so many problems with this quote, I don't even know where to start. First, Patrick Kane, who (as we've been beaten over the head with since approximately 1989) grew up both in Buffalo AND good at playing hockey, apparently didn't become a Sabres fan until 2003. That's when Drury joined the team. We addressed the big goal against the Rangers above. However, my biggest problem is how stupid Patrick Kane looks. Chris Drury only scored one goal. Where was Kane? In the bathroom for all but his twenty minutes of ice time?]
Team USA General Manager Brian Burke made it clear going into the Winter Games that he couldn't afford to assemble the top 20 players in red, white and blue and send them against the stronger, faster, deeper teams from Canada, Russia and beyond. The American team was put together with specific roles in mind for every player.
At least Kane knew it was ONE goal against the Rangers. But I am sensing we are about to run head first into a steaming pile of sports cliches...
Drury, for example, was named to the U.S. team despite a brutal year with the Rangers in a decision that baffled many. The reason: simple. Burke and U.S. coach Ron Wilson, former college roommates and blood brothers who wear the Maple Leaf of Toronto in the NHL, wanted a selfless leader with Olympic experience.
"He has those Mike Eruzione-like qualities," Wilson said of the 1980 U.S. hero. "Diving in front of shots, blocking them, winning big faceoffs. He's doing a lot of dirty grunt work that often gets overlooked."
Indeed. Wow. I am counting 1, 2, 3, 4 cliches in one quote. Well done.
[Ed's Note: the things that Chris Drury does are "Mike Eruzione-like." Therefore, note to all stupid Sabre fan Buckyites: we are not looking for a guy with "Chris Drury-like qualities." We are looking for a player with Mike Eruzione like qualities. He was the originator. Like Parcells over Belichick.]
Orpik is being asked to be their shutdown defenseman, providing the same steadiness and sturdiness as he did for the last two seasons with the Stanley Cup champion Pittsburgh Penguins.
And cliches.
He was on the ice during the grueling shift late in the game with the Canada threatening and the United States scrambling.
OK, I just want to point out this particular sentence demonstrates Bucky's lack of hockey knowledge: If Orpik was so "steady" and "sturdy" there would not have been a scramble.
The United States has produced more medal winners in the Winter Games, but it was an underdog when this tournament began. In means nothing in the Olympics. Dominik Hasek proved in the 1998 Nagano Games that one person can make a major difference.
And that brings back us to Miller, who also is wearing No. 39 in this tournament.
"Best I've ever seen," said Kesler, who plays with star Roberto Luongo.
Miller was irked over the Canadians slipping a loonie into center ice in Salt Lake City in 2002 before beating the Americans and standing atop the podium on U.S. soil.
When Sunday rolls around, he's hoping to return the favor.
But since the bloody Yanks don't use funny coins for dollar amounts, perhaps Miller can place a dollar bill, quarter, or even better (and this is dedicated to Ryan Fitzpatrick and all his street cred we learned about in a previous post) a Benjamin.
[Ed's Note: One final point... we got a full column about how awesome, clutch, huge, and crucial Chris Drury's goal was (the third for theYanks blueshirts U.S.ians Americans). Yet, we are never told who, when, or how the fourth (a/k/a "game-winning") goal was scored. Sorry, Jamie Langenbrunner. You stole Drury's "C". A price must be paid.]
What annoys me is the broad statements about 1. how lousy Canadian athletes in general are, and 2. how lousy the Canadian hockey team is. When, with half the Olympics to go, nobody was in a position to really say either. Micro-analysis is stupid in sports, even though sports journalists are guilty of it. To a fault. For example, the Sabres power play is currently like 2-78 or something in the last fifteen games. That sucks. But when they finally snapped their power play drought, they lost. In the previous game, one in which they didn't score a power play goal, they won 5-3. So, while a strong power play is certainly helpful in winning games, perhaps it's nothing more than correlative. Micro-analysis is stupid. Yet, here we are.
I have added some comments, in italics because they're generally funnier than what michael.w provided.
Lindy Ruff must have been having flashbacks Sunday evening as he stood behind the bench watching the whole thing unfold. Roll back the clocks a few years, back to when the Sabres marched to back-to-back conference finals and Ryan Miller would keep his team in games long enough for Chris Drury to win them.
Ruff wasn't available after Miller led the United States to a 5-3 upset victory over Canada, with plenty of help from his old buddy Drury, but something tells me he was a conflicted assistant coach for Canada following the game.
That happened once in the 2007 playoffs against the Rangers. And lest we forget that it was not Chris Drury who won that game he tied it. Max Afinogenov won the game.
Damn those guys, but somewhere deep down, good for them.
"Memories, huh," Miller said with a smile after making 42 saves in one of the best games of his career. "We're making new ones here."
Nobody should have any problem remembering this one for a while. The tension was palpable hours before the game and grew more intense inside as the slugfest carried along.
Slugfest. Yes I get it, the Sabres uniform looks like a slug.
And then there were the dizzying, suffocating, excruciating final 3½ minutes with Drury blocking shots and Miller making saves and, good heavens, get the puck out of the zone.
"Yeah," Drury said afterward. "It seemed like they had eight or nine guys out there."
See that, Chris Drury can shut down eight or nine guys!
[Ed's Note: That is, of course, because Chris Drury has the hockey talent, strength, and acumen of nine or ten guys. That's why he's paid so much. When you have Drury on your team, you only need to have three or four other skaters on the bench.]
Heck, anyone watching was exhausted.
Not anyone. I was quite comfortable. Sitting. Watching. Texting about 800 people about the game.
Drury didn't score the winner, but he had a big goal to give the Americans a 3-2 lead in the second period when he buried a loose puck.
In the Bucky Gleason dictionary, "Big Goal" is defined as "any goal scored by Chris Drury"
[Ed's Note: I just feel like it's worth noting that Drury did not score the game-winning goal. He scored the third goal of five. The Americans won 5-3. Each goal was important, but no bigger than any other. Kesler's
With the Yanks clinging to a 4-3 lead and the Canadians threatening to score for what felt like a month, he helped clear the zone with just more than a minute remaining.
Yanks? Was Jeter playing? Did A-Rod run Crosby into the boards. And if we are going to use quasi-offensive terms, why weren't Canadians "Canucks?"
[Ed's Note: Jeter was playing. Derek Jeter is the Chris Drury of baseball. To be entirely honest, between Jeter and Drury I'm surprised New York City hasn't melted to the ground what with all the clutch.]
"It was always great to play with Chris,"
Vancouver Canucks forward Ryan Kesler's scored into an empty net moments later, and a collective moan could be heard from a sold-out crowd in his home building if not across this proud but suddenly very nervous hockey nation.
It wasn't "collective" because many people in attendance were cheering for Team USA and were pleased by Kesler's efforts. By the way, Miller played out of his effing skull and Rafalski had two goals. I am not a journalist, but in the interests of covering for someone else's lame attempt at journalism, I decided to mention that.
The rationale behind Canada's ambitious "Own the Podium" initiative made sense on the surface. Our neighbors needed a unifying cry with the 2010 Winter Olympics being staged on their home soil. It was designed to intensify training and provide better results.
Yes that long three day training period. After all, they needed it. All these player showed up so out of shape since they ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NHL SEASON!!
[Ed's Note: This is what I'm talking about with the incessant micro-analysis we're subjected to in sports these days. The NFL is particularly bad about it. Halfway through the Olympics, Canada was struggling to own the podium. By the end, they had won the most gold. So let's avoid saying anything grandiose, and stupid, about how lame Canada's Olympic team is.]
The United States — the "U.S. eh,"[rimshot] as one newspaper headline blared last week — had 24 medals overall going into Sunday night, six more than the Germans and 15 more than fourth-place Canada.
Own the podium? Please. Canada isn't qualified to rent the "P" and the "O."
[Ed's Note: Or, you know, don't.]
Plaschke-nanigans on me. I am P.O.ed about this pile of journalist crap.
But that's what Miller, South Buffalo native Patrick Kane, East Amherst-raised Brooks Orpik and the rest of the Americans were up against. It was a classification game, but the outcome meant more to Canada than it did anywhere else.
Thanks, by the way, for telling us where Ryan Kesler, Ryan Miller and Chris Drury are from. I guess it doesn't matter. I heard the telecast and Doc "Doc" Emrick say it every time any one of them touched the puck.
Hockey is the one thing — the one thing — Canada must get right. Now?
The United States advances to the quarterfinals. Canada must play an extra game to reach the medal round. Both teams remain in contention for all three medals.
Tickets that sold for $5,000 on the street a few days ago were going for $6,000 or more on a sunny afternoon near the Vancouver Canucks' home.
This paragraph reminds me of something Woody Paige said on "Around the Horn" today: "I can type 95 words a minute but none of them make any sense.
[Ed's Note: First, kudos to Woody Paige for being that self-aware. It's the first step towards recovery. Second, what the hell? Why are we being subjected to Bucky's journalistic stream of consciousness (where, I might add, we get the only genuine reporting of actual fact).]
Imagine the price next week, not to mention the anxiety, if these two hockey superpowers manage to meet again in the gold medal game. The locals estimate that tickets for the final game Sunday will sell for $12,000 apiece if Canada is one of the participants, even more if the Yanks wind up on the other side the opening face-off circle.
Imagine. Imagine if our writer could string together a coherent column
Look out, because the bloody Yanks look dangerous.
And also, look out because apparently the Olympic Committee is randomly moving the remaining events to Scotland.
The win Sunday was their first over Canada in international play since the 2001 world championships, ending a string of six straight losses.
Random fact dropped in with no connection to anything else. Thanks.
Brian Rafalski scored 41 seconds into the game while fans were still cheering "Go, Canada." Rafalski answered again later in the period when fans were still cheering for Eric Staal's goal.
Drury answered after Dany Heatley tied the game, 2-2. And Miller seemed to have all the answers en route to 42 saves.
YES!!! We finally get to the part where he actually breaks down the game!!!
[Ed's Note: We've now been told how the first three, and fifth, goals have been scored. Remember, Canada scored three. So the fourth goal was the game-winner. Keep that in mind.]
Drury, Miller, sound familiar?
Or Andy Sambergs over Drury and Miller again.
"Absolutely,"
[Ed's Note: I have so many problems with this quote, I don't even know where to start. First, Patrick Kane, who (as we've been beaten over the head with since approximately 1989) grew up both in Buffalo AND good at playing hockey, apparently didn't become a Sabres fan until 2003. That's when Drury joined the team. We addressed the big goal against the Rangers above. However, my biggest problem is how stupid Patrick Kane looks. Chris Drury only scored one goal. Where was Kane? In the bathroom for all but his twenty minutes of ice time?]
Team USA General Manager Brian Burke made it clear going into the Winter Games that he couldn't afford to assemble the top 20 players in red, white and blue and send them against the stronger, faster, deeper teams from Canada, Russia and beyond. The American team was put together with specific roles in mind for every player.
At least Kane knew it was ONE goal against the Rangers. But I am sensing we are about to run head first into a steaming pile of sports cliches...
Drury, for example, was named to the U.S. team despite a brutal year with the Rangers in a decision that baffled many. The reason: simple. Burke and U.S. coach Ron Wilson, former college roommates and blood brothers who wear the Maple Leaf of Toronto in the NHL, wanted a selfless leader with Olympic experience.
"He has those Mike Eruzione-like qualities," Wilson said of the 1980 U.S. hero. "Diving in front of shots, blocking them, winning big faceoffs. He's doing a lot of dirty grunt work that often gets overlooked."
Indeed. Wow. I am counting 1, 2, 3, 4 cliches in one quote. Well done.
[Ed's Note: the things that Chris Drury does are "Mike Eruzione-like." Therefore, note to all stupid Sabre fan Buckyites: we are not looking for a guy with "Chris Drury-like qualities." We are looking for a player with Mike Eruzione like qualities. He was the originator. Like Parcells over Belichick.]
Orpik is being asked to be their shutdown defenseman, providing the same steadiness and sturdiness as he did for the last two seasons with the Stanley Cup champion Pittsburgh Penguins.
And cliches.
He was on the ice during the grueling shift late in the game with the Canada threatening and the United States scrambling.
OK, I just want to point out this particular sentence demonstrates Bucky's lack of hockey knowledge: If Orpik was so "steady" and "sturdy" there would not have been a scramble.
The United States has produced more medal winners in the Winter Games, but it was an underdog when this tournament began. In means nothing in the Olympics. Dominik Hasek proved in the 1998 Nagano Games that one person can make a major difference.
And that brings back us to Miller, who also is wearing No. 39 in this tournament.
"Best I've ever seen," said Kesler, who plays with star Roberto Luongo.
Miller was irked over the Canadians slipping a loonie into center ice in Salt Lake City in 2002 before beating the Americans and standing atop the podium on U.S. soil.
When Sunday rolls around, he's hoping to return the favor.
But since the bloody Yanks don't use funny coins for dollar amounts, perhaps Miller can place a dollar bill, quarter, or even better (and this is dedicated to Ryan Fitzpatrick and all his street cred we learned about in a previous post) a Benjamin.
[Ed's Note: One final point... we got a full column about how awesome, clutch, huge, and crucial Chris Drury's goal was (the third for the
Monday, February 22, 2010
fire bucky gleason, quadrennial edition part one
In what is going to become a series, since The Buffalo News Sports Department decided to send Bucky Gleason to Vancouver as its Olympic correspondent. My assumption here is the reasoning behind this is similar to why the Miami Herald sends Dave Barry to various national/international events: namely, they're not looking for actual journalism and reporting, but rather humorous items that are, at a minimum, 75% fabrication.
Bucky didn't waste any time giving us the first gem of his Olympic coverage. In order to set the right tone, I want you to think of two things that cannot possibly be related. Also, should the paths of these things cross, it couldn't possibly be more irrelevant. For example, an archaeological dig and Andy Katzenmoyer. Or, more pointedly, a MENSA meeting and Bucky Gleason. Of course, this is Olympic related. Do you have one? Good. Is it "Joe Biden and ski jumping"? No? Of course it isn't, because you can't possibly ever write anything of meaning or merit involving Joe Biden and ski jumping. Doesn't mean you can't try, I guess.
Joe Biden snaked through the mountains for more than two hours Saturday before taking his place in the bleachers with the common folk watching ski jumping. For a while there, he really did look like a man of the people as he had proclaimed to be for years on the campaign trail.
Joe Biden watched ski jumping? Who cares? I mean, props to him for not forcing his way down front, and VIPing his way into primo seats. But, really, it's ski jumping. Nobody watches ski jumping. I don't think NBC even sent cameras for crying out loud.
It was a nice show of support by the vice president for the Americans,
As opposed to the vice president of the Canadieans, who slaps all his ski jumpers in the face if they finish lower than first.
who need all the help they can get when it comes to ski jumping. The team consists of three ordinary people, working men with whom Biden supposedly could identify. One is a handyman, another a dishwasher and the third an ice cream scooper in the summer.
Are you bracing yourself for a "woe is me" article about the blight of our ski jumpers? Good. Are you also thinking "This is who is ski jumping for us? Hell, I could have a shot in 2014!" even though you basically just finished a tub of processed sodium? Me too.
Of course, it didn’t take long before Biden confirmed he’s no Ordinary Joe after all.
Punny!
He effectively dismissed U.S. jumpers Anders Johnson, Nick Alexander and teenager Peter Frenette after Johnson’s mother, Chris, draped in a U.S. flag, approached Biden about offering a the team few words of encouragement after a tough day.
Did he flip them off or something? Did he slap this guy's Mom?
Rather than take a few minutes for the Americans, he greeted them mostly with indifference and a phony thumbs up. It wasn’t a show of support, just a show. He might as well have told them to take a flying leap.
Wait, don't they take flying leaps? Oh, is this supposed to be another pun? My bad. Also, who cares?? Joe Biden gives a "phony" thumbs up, so we're supposed to get indignant that our ski jumpers are being disrespected? What makes the thumbs up phony? Did you talk to Biden afterward? I'm sure he explained it as "Hey, I was just trying to make them a little happy, because really they sucked so hard I'm going to get Barack to ban ski jumping by executive order as soon as I get back."
Little did he know, the perceived snub had become standard operating procedure when it comes to ski jumping and the government.
If you thought the Joe Biden-ski jumping relationship wasn't tenuous enough already, may I present to you the "American government-ski jumping" relationship.
The United States has an official ski jumping team only when it’s good for the United States, which is every four years when the Winter Olympics roll around. Ski jumping has been discarded by the United States Ski Association. Funding has been cut off along with the U.S. team’s chances of winning.
Shenanigans. Bucky demonstrates just how lousy he is at research. First and foremost, The United States Government is not, in any way, responsible for funding the ski jumping team. Nor should it be. The US Ski and Snowboard Association1 is responsible for providing the ski jumping team its funding. Not anyone in Washington, DC, nor any state capitol in the land. The USSA is a private not-for-profit organization, and not a governmental agency (you know, much like the USOC). This is as it should be. Our tax dollars have better things to do than make sure our ski jumpers can make ends meet.
"We just need somebody to be confident in us," Johnson said after Switzerland’s Simon Ammann won the event and was awarded the first gold medal in the 2010 Winter Games. "Throw us a bone, you know? Give us something. Every little bit helps. We’re working on fumes right now. A little bit in the tank would go a long way."
First, try being confident in yourselves. Confidence breeds confidence. Second, this may, or may not, sound a lot like a guy who relies on charitable donations to do what he loves most.
By the looks of things, it appears there’s a better chance of throwing the program off a cliff before throwing it a bone. The three Yanks spent years saving their nickels for private coaches, training and equipment while other countries spend millions of dollars on their teams. Austria forked over $500,000 for the team bus alone.
I want to remind everyone here that the US team, as stated above by the man trying to persuade you that our government does not support our ski jumpers enough, consists of three (3!) people. My first question is, why the hell do three people need a $500,000 bus? They should be grateful for a $25,000 conversion van. Second, why the hell would we want to invest public money, in the form of millions of dollars, into something that's going to generate, at best, a dozen jobs?
Funny how they competed in the Normal Hill event Saturday because there’s nothing normal about hauling down a ramp and jumping 105 meters before landing softly at the bottom with style points in between. The aptly named Large Hill allows jumpers to approach nearly 150 meters.
Normal is normal, ski jumper is large, like the hill's name. That sound you hear is the Pulitzer committee Andy Samberging itself while reading this pure gold.
Television does the sport a great service by giving the appearance that jumpers are descending from the heavens — or heading there.
Actually, they fly parallel with the slope of the hill and are only 15 feet above the surface at the highest point. It looks like a blast from the bottom of the hill, but it must be harrowing from the top.
Bucky, ever the persuasive writer, now tries to convince us of the vital importance of ski jumping by telling us.... that it's not nearly as impressive as it is on TV. Smooth.
"It’s pretty indescribable," Johnson said. "The time you spend in the air feels a lot longer than it actually is. It’s a unique feeling. The feeling of flying on your own power is pretty cool."
Johnson now essentially does the exact same thing. Smooth.
The Americans knew long before they landed in gorgeous Whistler Olympic Park that they would be gone in no time, but it didn’t stop them from doing whatever was necessary to get here. They were there for all the right reasons.
As opposed to those sad sack skeleton drivers, who are only in Vancouver to drink heavily, engage in wanton acts of debauchery, and impregnate the locals with absolutely no intention of providing any support later on.
Alexander washes dishes for a living at a restaurant near his home in Lebanon, N.H. He appreciates his job, but you might say he doesn’t get the same adrenaline rush from scrubbing plates than, say, competing in the Olympic Games.
Tear.
"Not quite," he said.
Bucky sets 'em up so his interviewee can knock them down.
Frenette spent the summer scooping ice cream near Lake Placid, probably because he’s not qualified for anything else. He looks like the kid bagging your groceries. He’s counting down the 10 days between today and his 18th birthday, when he’ll be able to vote, drive at night and watch R-rated movies.
He buckled up his skis Saturday morning having exactly zero World Cup points in his career because he had never competed in a major event before. He stood atop the ramp in Whistler Winter Park, took a deep breath and let ’er fly on the only pair of skis he owns. Welcome to the Olympics, kid.
We owe our ski jumping children a better future than this. Please write to your federal, state, and local legislators and tell them to withhold aid to your local school districts and highway departments. Our ski jumpers need an alternate pair of skis.
You weren’t about to hear the youngest male Olympian complaining. People kept asking him for his credentials last week because they couldn’t believe he was a competitor. Nice kid, but it says plenty about the U.S. program when his first big jump comes on the world’s biggest stage.
By "says plenty" here Bucky means "says nothing."
"It’s definitely exciting," Frenette said. "I’m one of the youngest to do it, so that’s good looking forward into my career. It’s like a starting point. Hopefully, I can keep building on this from the Olympics and get better and hopefully be one of the best someday."
Don’t you just adore the innocence of youth?
Not really. Also, what happened to Joe Biden? Is he still a douche? We've kind of moved away from your central thesis here.
The United States hasn’t been close to the podium since the Coolidge Administration.
Wait, they've sucked for a while? Our ski jumpers are like the Detroit Lions? Great. More reason to allocate your tax dollars to their success.
Certainly you remember another Anders, Anders Haugen, finishing fourth in the 1924 Chamonix Games. As the story goes, he picked up the bronze medal about 50 years later when a computing error was uncovered and pushed him into third.
Americans’ lasting memory for years when it came to ski jumping involved a Slovenian, Vink Bogtaj, who tumbled off the ramp and was better known as the "agony of defeat" guy from "Wide World of Sports" in the 1970s.
Which was kind of hilarious.
The United States has been so accustomed to getting buried in ski jumping that defeat is not accompanied with agony but with anticipation.
US Ski Jumping, the L.A. Clippers of the slopes. Support our Skiers!
And to think an American woman, Lindsey Van, owns the record for the longest jump for anyone in Normal Hill. The stuffy International Olympic Committee has refused to accept women’s ski jumping as an Olympic sport. The U.S. men’s program could be headed for extinction.
So now we're supposed to support a sport that only allows men to compete on its grandest stage. We might as well start throwing money at women's baseball and men's softball.
Alexander and Frenette finished tied for 41st on Saturday. Johnson, who helps rehab houses for his father’s property-management company in Park City, Utah, finished in 49th. It was also known as second-last. The odds of them winning a medal were wedged between "a snowball’s chance in hell" and "when pigs fly."
Based on everything you've said so far, I suppose we should be grateful they qualified for the Olympics at all.
But they jumped, anyway, because they had the opportunity. It would have been nice if Biden jumped at the chance to greet them. Give him two thumbs down.
Joe Biden, remember him? He was supposed to be the hook in what turned into a brutal diatribe on the state of American ski jumping, and shame on us for not recognizing the potential of our ski jumping population. Nevermind that Bucky himself essentially did the exact same thing to our curlers less than a week later. However, that column did at least give us this:
"Presumably, you're laughing at me, or crying for me, and wondering what in the world I'm saying. And I have absolutely no idea. Not a clue."
This is probably the most honest and accurate thing Bucky has ever written ever.
Support Our Ski Jumpers!
1 - Way to whiff on that one, too, monkey.
Bucky didn't waste any time giving us the first gem of his Olympic coverage. In order to set the right tone, I want you to think of two things that cannot possibly be related. Also, should the paths of these things cross, it couldn't possibly be more irrelevant. For example, an archaeological dig and Andy Katzenmoyer. Or, more pointedly, a MENSA meeting and Bucky Gleason. Of course, this is Olympic related. Do you have one? Good. Is it "Joe Biden and ski jumping"? No? Of course it isn't, because you can't possibly ever write anything of meaning or merit involving Joe Biden and ski jumping. Doesn't mean you can't try, I guess.
Joe Biden snaked through the mountains for more than two hours Saturday before taking his place in the bleachers with the common folk watching ski jumping. For a while there, he really did look like a man of the people as he had proclaimed to be for years on the campaign trail.
Joe Biden watched ski jumping? Who cares? I mean, props to him for not forcing his way down front, and VIPing his way into primo seats. But, really, it's ski jumping. Nobody watches ski jumping. I don't think NBC even sent cameras for crying out loud.
It was a nice show of support by the vice president for the Americans,
As opposed to the vice president of the Canadi
who need all the help they can get when it comes to ski jumping. The team consists of three ordinary people, working men with whom Biden supposedly could identify. One is a handyman, another a dishwasher and the third an ice cream scooper in the summer.
Are you bracing yourself for a "woe is me" article about the blight of our ski jumpers? Good. Are you also thinking "This is who is ski jumping for us? Hell, I could have a shot in 2014!" even though you basically just finished a tub of processed sodium? Me too.
Of course, it didn’t take long before Biden confirmed he’s no Ordinary Joe after all.
Punny!
He effectively dismissed U.S. jumpers Anders Johnson, Nick Alexander and teenager Peter Frenette after Johnson’s mother, Chris, draped in a U.S. flag, approached Biden about offering a the team few words of encouragement after a tough day.
Did he flip them off or something? Did he slap this guy's Mom?
Rather than take a few minutes for the Americans, he greeted them mostly with indifference and a phony thumbs up. It wasn’t a show of support, just a show. He might as well have told them to take a flying leap.
Wait, don't they take flying leaps? Oh, is this supposed to be another pun? My bad. Also, who cares?? Joe Biden gives a "phony" thumbs up, so we're supposed to get indignant that our ski jumpers are being disrespected? What makes the thumbs up phony? Did you talk to Biden afterward? I'm sure he explained it as "Hey, I was just trying to make them a little happy, because really they sucked so hard I'm going to get Barack to ban ski jumping by executive order as soon as I get back."
Little did he know, the perceived snub had become standard operating procedure when it comes to ski jumping and the government.
If you thought the Joe Biden-ski jumping relationship wasn't tenuous enough already, may I present to you the "American government-ski jumping" relationship.
The United States has an official ski jumping team only when it’s good for the United States, which is every four years when the Winter Olympics roll around. Ski jumping has been discarded by the United States Ski Association. Funding has been cut off along with the U.S. team’s chances of winning.
Shenanigans. Bucky demonstrates just how lousy he is at research. First and foremost, The United States Government is not, in any way, responsible for funding the ski jumping team. Nor should it be. The US Ski and Snowboard Association1 is responsible for providing the ski jumping team its funding. Not anyone in Washington, DC, nor any state capitol in the land. The USSA is a private not-for-profit organization, and not a governmental agency (you know, much like the USOC). This is as it should be. Our tax dollars have better things to do than make sure our ski jumpers can make ends meet.
"We just need somebody to be confident in us," Johnson said after Switzerland’s Simon Ammann won the event and was awarded the first gold medal in the 2010 Winter Games. "Throw us a bone, you know? Give us something. Every little bit helps. We’re working on fumes right now. A little bit in the tank would go a long way."
First, try being confident in yourselves. Confidence breeds confidence. Second, this may, or may not, sound a lot like a guy who relies on charitable donations to do what he loves most.
By the looks of things, it appears there’s a better chance of throwing the program off a cliff before throwing it a bone. The three Yanks spent years saving their nickels for private coaches, training and equipment while other countries spend millions of dollars on their teams. Austria forked over $500,000 for the team bus alone.
I want to remind everyone here that the US team, as stated above by the man trying to persuade you that our government does not support our ski jumpers enough, consists of three (3!) people. My first question is, why the hell do three people need a $500,000 bus? They should be grateful for a $25,000 conversion van. Second, why the hell would we want to invest public money, in the form of millions of dollars, into something that's going to generate, at best, a dozen jobs?
Funny how they competed in the Normal Hill event Saturday because there’s nothing normal about hauling down a ramp and jumping 105 meters before landing softly at the bottom with style points in between. The aptly named Large Hill allows jumpers to approach nearly 150 meters.
Normal is normal, ski jumper is large, like the hill's name. That sound you hear is the Pulitzer committee Andy Samberging itself while reading this pure gold.
Television does the sport a great service by giving the appearance that jumpers are descending from the heavens — or heading there.
Actually, they fly parallel with the slope of the hill and are only 15 feet above the surface at the highest point. It looks like a blast from the bottom of the hill, but it must be harrowing from the top.
Bucky, ever the persuasive writer, now tries to convince us of the vital importance of ski jumping by telling us.... that it's not nearly as impressive as it is on TV. Smooth.
"It’s pretty indescribable," Johnson said. "The time you spend in the air feels a lot longer than it actually is. It’s a unique feeling. The feeling of flying on your own power is pretty cool."
Johnson now essentially does the exact same thing. Smooth.
The Americans knew long before they landed in gorgeous Whistler Olympic Park that they would be gone in no time, but it didn’t stop them from doing whatever was necessary to get here. They were there for all the right reasons.
As opposed to those sad sack skeleton drivers, who are only in Vancouver to drink heavily, engage in wanton acts of debauchery, and impregnate the locals with absolutely no intention of providing any support later on.
Alexander washes dishes for a living at a restaurant near his home in Lebanon, N.H. He appreciates his job, but you might say he doesn’t get the same adrenaline rush from scrubbing plates than, say, competing in the Olympic Games.
Tear.
"Not quite," he said.
Bucky sets 'em up so his interviewee can knock them down.
Frenette spent the summer scooping ice cream near Lake Placid, probably because he’s not qualified for anything else. He looks like the kid bagging your groceries. He’s counting down the 10 days between today and his 18th birthday, when he’ll be able to vote, drive at night and watch R-rated movies.
He buckled up his skis Saturday morning having exactly zero World Cup points in his career because he had never competed in a major event before. He stood atop the ramp in Whistler Winter Park, took a deep breath and let ’er fly on the only pair of skis he owns. Welcome to the Olympics, kid.
We owe our ski jumping children a better future than this. Please write to your federal, state, and local legislators and tell them to withhold aid to your local school districts and highway departments. Our ski jumpers need an alternate pair of skis.
You weren’t about to hear the youngest male Olympian complaining. People kept asking him for his credentials last week because they couldn’t believe he was a competitor. Nice kid, but it says plenty about the U.S. program when his first big jump comes on the world’s biggest stage.
By "says plenty" here Bucky means "says nothing."
"It’s definitely exciting," Frenette said. "I’m one of the youngest to do it, so that’s good looking forward into my career. It’s like a starting point. Hopefully, I can keep building on this from the Olympics and get better and hopefully be one of the best someday."
Don’t you just adore the innocence of youth?
Not really. Also, what happened to Joe Biden? Is he still a douche? We've kind of moved away from your central thesis here.
The United States hasn’t been close to the podium since the Coolidge Administration.
Wait, they've sucked for a while? Our ski jumpers are like the Detroit Lions? Great. More reason to allocate your tax dollars to their success.
Certainly you remember another Anders, Anders Haugen, finishing fourth in the 1924 Chamonix Games. As the story goes, he picked up the bronze medal about 50 years later when a computing error was uncovered and pushed him into third.
Americans’ lasting memory for years when it came to ski jumping involved a Slovenian, Vink Bogtaj, who tumbled off the ramp and was better known as the "agony of defeat" guy from "Wide World of Sports" in the 1970s.
Which was kind of hilarious.
The United States has been so accustomed to getting buried in ski jumping that defeat is not accompanied with agony but with anticipation.
US Ski Jumping, the L.A. Clippers of the slopes. Support our Skiers!
And to think an American woman, Lindsey Van, owns the record for the longest jump for anyone in Normal Hill. The stuffy International Olympic Committee has refused to accept women’s ski jumping as an Olympic sport. The U.S. men’s program could be headed for extinction.
So now we're supposed to support a sport that only allows men to compete on its grandest stage. We might as well start throwing money at women's baseball and men's softball.
Alexander and Frenette finished tied for 41st on Saturday. Johnson, who helps rehab houses for his father’s property-management company in Park City, Utah, finished in 49th. It was also known as second-last. The odds of them winning a medal were wedged between "a snowball’s chance in hell" and "when pigs fly."
Based on everything you've said so far, I suppose we should be grateful they qualified for the Olympics at all.
But they jumped, anyway, because they had the opportunity. It would have been nice if Biden jumped at the chance to greet them. Give him two thumbs down.
Joe Biden, remember him? He was supposed to be the hook in what turned into a brutal diatribe on the state of American ski jumping, and shame on us for not recognizing the potential of our ski jumping population. Nevermind that Bucky himself essentially did the exact same thing to our curlers less than a week later. However, that column did at least give us this:
"Presumably, you're laughing at me, or crying for me, and wondering what in the world I'm saying. And I have absolutely no idea. Not a clue."
This is probably the most honest and accurate thing Bucky has ever written ever.
Support Our Ski Jumpers!
1 - Way to whiff on that one, too, monkey.
Monday, January 25, 2010
fire bucky gleason, bucky gleason makes noncommital predictions edition
Since Bucky decided to use his most recent Inside the "NHL" to write about the Junior Sabres (who, I might add here, not only do NOT play in the NHL, but also do not feed into the NHL), we're going back in time. michael.w took on Bucky's giant hedged bet. All will be explained below. My comments in italics, because I'm wittier.
Place your left hand on the Bible and raise your right hand before answering this question, understanding you could face charges of perjury: Did you think before the season began that the Buffalo Sabres would be sitting in second place in the Eastern Conference today, Jan. 10, 2010?
I have to take an oath now to read your column? Fine. I am certain that my natural reaction to whatever you say will be honest, and not subject me to perjury charges pursuant to Penal Law Sect. 210.15.
[Ed's Note: Between this and all the nonsense about "legal testimony and hard evidence" for the 20 Cent fiasco, what is this obsession with criminal procedure?]
Well, um, not, gee, uh ...
Good heavens, no.
Nice to see Bucky's fake lawyering is as bad as his fake reporting. Way to prep your witness.
For what it's worth, I picked
Nothing. The words "I picked" in reference to Bucky predictions translates to "Ignore the Following."
them to finish eighth in the conference with the idea they were capable of finishing anywhere between sixth and 10th. Nobody of sound hockey mind would have predicted the Sabres charging to the top of the division and challenging for the NHL's best record.
Translation: Since I would not have predicted this, no one would have. And what is "sixth and 10th." Isn't it better practice to go with either "sixth and tenth" or "6th and 10th." Either way, but it isn't like you are shortening one million, nine hundred thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine to 1,900,999.
[Ed's Note: This is high school English. Back in like ninth grade I was taught that any rank, such as first, third, sixth, tenth, etc, is to be spelled out up to twentieth. Starting with 21st you use numbers. So, once again, Bucky fails high school grammar. Well done.]
But there they were Saturday, with a 10-point lead over the Bruins in the division, chasing their seventh straight victory and trying to track down New Jersey for the top spot in the conference.
So perhaps the people who picked them, to choose at random, between 6th and 10th don't know what they hell they are talking about.
The Sabres are evolving into a great story in the NHL, the kind that leads championship-starved Buffalo fans to fantasize about winning that elusive first major sports title.
While I just fantasize about Tyler Myers.
[Ed's Note: This still makes me angry. Why do the Bills' two AFL titles not count? The Yankees and their fans like to masturbate about "27 rings," while like 24 of them were won before 1950, when there were only about three pro baseball teams and only white guys were allowed to play, (or, to stay on-sport, the Canadiens boast 24 cups when fourteen of those were won before the NHL expanded beyond six teams, including one before the NHL even existed). If fans get to take pride in all that garbage, Bills fans can brag about a pair of AFL titles in the 60s.]
At least the Sabres have given people reason to believe, evidence that the communal hum you hear lately can turn into a Buffalo-style hockey buzz.
Communal? Great. The Sabres winning ways are turning us into communists.
Only a monumental collapse would prevent the Sabres from making the playoffs this season.
One of Bucky's favorite things in that sentence: Verbal Sleight of Hand. Giving himself an out if they don't win and he can say, "See, I predicted the monumental collapse."
They have the goaltending, defense, depth and balance to make things interesting come April.
Sounds like they could be favored.
Enjoy the ride while it lasts with tempered emotion, knowing full well that it's much too early to start talking about anything past the first round of the playoffs.
Verbal Sleight of Hand, Part II
The Sabres' ascension has been so businesslike,
They wear suits on the ice
punctuated by a six-game blitz
terribly misplaced football metaphor
that ended Saturday night with a 4-3 shootout loss to the Avalanche, that it was almost overlooked in Buffalo amid all the moaning about the sorry football team across town that provided entertainment in a comedic sense only.
Of all the games in the "blitz" the loss is the one you want to highlight? Neither of the three goal comebacks qualify. As an aside, having attended numerous Bills' games this season, I can conclude Bucky and I have very different senses of humor, because I found nothing comedic in the Bills' games. In fact, they were generally unwatchable.
We'll see if the Sabres are for real.
Verbal Sleight of Hand, Part III
It's a good team, certainly,
This sounds like Verbal Sleight of Hand, Part IV
but I'm reluctant to suggest they're anything more no matter their ascension in the standings.
Yep.
I've been around this block with a few teases over the years. We're still in January, and 38 games remain on the schedule, plus the Olympic break.
Very nice. I just wrote about the superior goaltending, defensive depth and balance. So in conclusion, they suck.
[Ed's Note: Buffalo Sports Professional logic at its finest... the Sabres have a good team, but suck because they've never won a Super Bowl or Stanley Cup. You want to know why there's no communal hum, moron? Because morons like you keep writing moronic things about how lousy the team is, despite mounting an outside challenge for the President's Trophy. You're essentially Randy Quaid in Major League II, saying (as the Indians clinch a playoff berth) "Who cares? They're gonna blow it in the playoffs."]
The Sabres had an off night Saturday and twice trailed by two goals. But there was a sense after Thomas Vanek scored in the third period that they would find a way to tie it. Sure enough, Jochen Hecht sent a wrist shot through a screen that found a hole. Was there any doubt they would at least steal a point?
You mean aside from within the mind of Bucky Gleason?
[Ed's Note: Not in my mind.
****
These guys actually kind of remind me of the 2005-06/2006-07 teams. Turn the game off at your own risk, because who knows what may happen. Even if they're down by four.]
For a variety of reasons, this is a different team. It's more competitive and mentally tougher even though they have a majority of players who made up their soft, fragile team from the previous two years.
PHEW!!!!! I was worried we would get through a whole column without the mental toughness cliches
I think they learned plenty from missing the playoffs twice by narrow margins.
If one were restricted to reading this paper, they would learn they missed the playoffs by not resigning Chris Drury, Daniel Briere and Brian Campbell.
And to think Buffalo could have been in first place in the conference this morning with a win Saturday and a loss by New Jersey. Pittsburgh and Washington aren't going away, and both teams have more talent across their roster than Buffalo does.
Pittsburgh does mainly because they have Brooks Orpik and he's from Buffalo.
If the Sabres are serious about winning the Stanley Cup, they will need to address their shortcomings at the NHL trade deadline. They still need a defenseman who can quarterback the power play, a true No. 1 center, more pop along their top two lines and more backbone along the blue line.
So the defensive depth, goaltending and balance within a few paragraphs have now become irrelevant? Also, a defenseman who can quarterback the power play, a number one center, more pop in the top two lines and more backbone along the blueline translates to: All new players.
And what's more, EVERY NHL TEAM COULD USE: A defenseman who can quarterback the power play, a number one center, more pop in the top two lines and more backbone along the blueline.
One true test begins this week when they play seven straight road games against teams that entered Saturday night with a combined 161-112-36 record, including four games on the West Coast and another in Phoenix. Come back from the roadie with 10 points and no major injuries, and it could be time to get serious about making a deal for a rental.
Verbal Sleight of Hand, Part V. They have one of the NHL's best records, but they haven't been tested. In fact, they have only played local bar league teams, so their record is vastly inflated.
Regardless, there's no taking away the 28 wins and 60 points the Sabres earned through the first 44 games.
But dammit I did my best to try.
[Ed's Note: And since I couldn't take that away, I'll simply decide to ignore them entirely. After all, despite the Sabres having three games in hand, the Senators are ONLY SEVEN POINTS AWAY!! AHHHHHHH!!!!]
They're on pace for 112 points. Last season, they were given little mercy for could've, should've games they lost. They can't be vilified this year for games they should've lost but won.
[Ed's Note: Why would anyone vilify1 them for winning games they shouldn't? You screwed this up, moron. In your seemingly infinite moronitude, you got so caught up in slamming last year's team you effed up the back-handed compliment to this year's team. You meant to say "they can't be vilified this year for games they should've won but lost." But you didn't, because you're a moron.]
Ryan Miller is single-handedly responsible for a half-dozen victories this season, maybe more. Their so-called star players have been mostly average but are gaining momentum.
Again, I thought we couldn't take away from them the wins they have in hand.
Rookie defenseman Tyler Myers has more points than Thomas Vanek
As of the date of my retort, that is no longer the case, and Vanek has played five fewer games. [Ed's Note: This was true for, like, a day. Also, who freakin' cares?? We're winning.]
They won back-to-back games after trailing by three goals.
Nice that you noticed
Tim Connolly took a three-week snooze before waking up.
How long has Tim Kennedy's snooze been? [Ed's Note: Also, Connolly is now threatening the Sabres' team record for most consecutive games with a point. He's at fifteen, the record is eighteen. In a related story, Bucky hasn't eaten anything in three weeks.]
One way or another, they've been winning, or finding ways to scratch out points when it appears, as it did Saturday, none was available.
More Verbal Sleight of Hand. They are winning, but shouldn't be because they suck
They have the best goalie in the league this season in Miller. Their team defense is considerably better than it was last year.
Yet still need better defensemen, as stated above
Newcomers Mike Grier and Steve Montador injected leadership and toughness
But more importantly, given analysts carte blanche to use those cliches
while bringing a professional approach that has kept their teammates on an even keel.
Myers has been the second-best player on the roster behind Miller. Fellow rookie Tim Kennedy has given them the crusty, prickly edge that had been lacking, a solid checking-line center and another inventive forward.
But when he never scores, it isn't a result of a snooze.
The Sabres have more bite, more snarl that comes from competitiveness, builds confidence and leads to stronger chemistry.
OK, this really appears to be a set-up for even more Verbal Sleight of Hand
And they're also benefiting from a weaker division than last season.
Indeed it was
Montreal has played better lately but still hasn't come together after revamping the roster in the offseason. Boston and Ottawa are banged up. Toronto is a mess. Surprise, surprise, the division is there for the taking.
Now, raise your hand and answer this question: Will the Sabres be in second place or higher in the conference when the season ends April 11?
So let me try to sum this up:
The Sabres have a great record, numerous players having good seasons, but, they need a roster full of new players to be good, they have played crappy teams and if they don't win it all, I can come back and say "See, I told you they sucked"
So, I, in one run-on sentence did what Bucky did in one run-on column.
1 - Thank you, Roget's.
Place your left hand on the Bible and raise your right hand before answering this question, understanding you could face charges of perjury: Did you think before the season began that the Buffalo Sabres would be sitting in second place in the Eastern Conference today, Jan. 10, 2010?
I have to take an oath now to read your column? Fine. I am certain that my natural reaction to whatever you say will be honest, and not subject me to perjury charges pursuant to Penal Law Sect. 210.15.
[Ed's Note: Between this and all the nonsense about "legal testimony and hard evidence" for the 20 Cent fiasco, what is this obsession with criminal procedure?]
Well, um, not, gee, uh ...
Good heavens, no.
Nice to see Bucky's fake lawyering is as bad as his fake reporting. Way to prep your witness.
For what it's worth, I picked
Nothing. The words "I picked" in reference to Bucky predictions translates to "Ignore the Following."
them to finish eighth in the conference with the idea they were capable of finishing anywhere between sixth and 10th. Nobody of sound hockey mind would have predicted the Sabres charging to the top of the division and challenging for the NHL's best record.
Translation: Since I would not have predicted this, no one would have. And what is "sixth and 10th." Isn't it better practice to go with either "sixth and tenth" or "6th and 10th." Either way, but it isn't like you are shortening one million, nine hundred thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine to 1,900,999.
[Ed's Note: This is high school English. Back in like ninth grade I was taught that any rank, such as first, third, sixth, tenth, etc, is to be spelled out up to twentieth. Starting with 21st you use numbers. So, once again, Bucky fails high school grammar. Well done.]
But there they were Saturday, with a 10-point lead over the Bruins in the division, chasing their seventh straight victory and trying to track down New Jersey for the top spot in the conference.
So perhaps the people who picked them, to choose at random, between 6th and 10th don't know what they hell they are talking about.
The Sabres are evolving into a great story in the NHL, the kind that leads championship-starved Buffalo fans to fantasize about winning that elusive first major sports title.
While I just fantasize about Tyler Myers.
[Ed's Note: This still makes me angry. Why do the Bills' two AFL titles not count? The Yankees and their fans like to masturbate about "27 rings," while like 24 of them were won before 1950, when there were only about three pro baseball teams and only white guys were allowed to play, (or, to stay on-sport, the Canadiens boast 24 cups when fourteen of those were won before the NHL expanded beyond six teams, including one before the NHL even existed). If fans get to take pride in all that garbage, Bills fans can brag about a pair of AFL titles in the 60s.]
At least the Sabres have given people reason to believe, evidence that the communal hum you hear lately can turn into a Buffalo-style hockey buzz.
Communal? Great. The Sabres winning ways are turning us into communists.
Only a monumental collapse would prevent the Sabres from making the playoffs this season.
One of Bucky's favorite things in that sentence: Verbal Sleight of Hand. Giving himself an out if they don't win and he can say, "See, I predicted the monumental collapse."
They have the goaltending, defense, depth and balance to make things interesting come April.
Sounds like they could be favored.
Enjoy the ride while it lasts with tempered emotion, knowing full well that it's much too early to start talking about anything past the first round of the playoffs.
Verbal Sleight of Hand, Part II
The Sabres' ascension has been so businesslike,
They wear suits on the ice
punctuated by a six-game blitz
terribly misplaced football metaphor
that ended Saturday night with a 4-3 shootout loss to the Avalanche, that it was almost overlooked in Buffalo amid all the moaning about the sorry football team across town that provided entertainment in a comedic sense only.
Of all the games in the "blitz" the loss is the one you want to highlight? Neither of the three goal comebacks qualify. As an aside, having attended numerous Bills' games this season, I can conclude Bucky and I have very different senses of humor, because I found nothing comedic in the Bills' games. In fact, they were generally unwatchable.
We'll see if the Sabres are for real.
Verbal Sleight of Hand, Part III
It's a good team, certainly,
This sounds like Verbal Sleight of Hand, Part IV
but I'm reluctant to suggest they're anything more no matter their ascension in the standings.
Yep.
I've been around this block with a few teases over the years. We're still in January, and 38 games remain on the schedule, plus the Olympic break.
Very nice. I just wrote about the superior goaltending, defensive depth and balance. So in conclusion, they suck.
[Ed's Note: Buffalo Sports Professional logic at its finest... the Sabres have a good team, but suck because they've never won a Super Bowl or Stanley Cup. You want to know why there's no communal hum, moron? Because morons like you keep writing moronic things about how lousy the team is, despite mounting an outside challenge for the President's Trophy. You're essentially Randy Quaid in Major League II, saying (as the Indians clinch a playoff berth) "Who cares? They're gonna blow it in the playoffs."]
The Sabres had an off night Saturday and twice trailed by two goals. But there was a sense after Thomas Vanek scored in the third period that they would find a way to tie it. Sure enough, Jochen Hecht sent a wrist shot through a screen that found a hole. Was there any doubt they would at least steal a point?
You mean aside from within the mind of Bucky Gleason?
[Ed's Note: Not in my mind.
****
These guys actually kind of remind me of the 2005-06/2006-07 teams. Turn the game off at your own risk, because who knows what may happen. Even if they're down by four.]
For a variety of reasons, this is a different team. It's more competitive and mentally tougher even though they have a majority of players who made up their soft, fragile team from the previous two years.
PHEW!!!!! I was worried we would get through a whole column without the mental toughness cliches
I think they learned plenty from missing the playoffs twice by narrow margins.
If one were restricted to reading this paper, they would learn they missed the playoffs by not resigning Chris Drury, Daniel Briere and Brian Campbell.
And to think Buffalo could have been in first place in the conference this morning with a win Saturday and a loss by New Jersey. Pittsburgh and Washington aren't going away, and both teams have more talent across their roster than Buffalo does.
Pittsburgh does mainly because they have Brooks Orpik and he's from Buffalo.
If the Sabres are serious about winning the Stanley Cup, they will need to address their shortcomings at the NHL trade deadline. They still need a defenseman who can quarterback the power play, a true No. 1 center, more pop along their top two lines and more backbone along the blue line.
So the defensive depth, goaltending and balance within a few paragraphs have now become irrelevant? Also, a defenseman who can quarterback the power play, a number one center, more pop in the top two lines and more backbone along the blueline translates to: All new players.
And what's more, EVERY NHL TEAM COULD USE: A defenseman who can quarterback the power play, a number one center, more pop in the top two lines and more backbone along the blueline.
One true test begins this week when they play seven straight road games against teams that entered Saturday night with a combined 161-112-36 record, including four games on the West Coast and another in Phoenix. Come back from the roadie with 10 points and no major injuries, and it could be time to get serious about making a deal for a rental.
Verbal Sleight of Hand, Part V. They have one of the NHL's best records, but they haven't been tested. In fact, they have only played local bar league teams, so their record is vastly inflated.
Regardless, there's no taking away the 28 wins and 60 points the Sabres earned through the first 44 games.
But dammit I did my best to try.
[Ed's Note: And since I couldn't take that away, I'll simply decide to ignore them entirely. After all, despite the Sabres having three games in hand, the Senators are ONLY SEVEN POINTS AWAY!! AHHHHHHH!!!!]
They're on pace for 112 points. Last season, they were given little mercy for could've, should've games they lost. They can't be vilified this year for games they should've lost but won.
[Ed's Note: Why would anyone vilify1 them for winning games they shouldn't? You screwed this up, moron. In your seemingly infinite moronitude, you got so caught up in slamming last year's team you effed up the back-handed compliment to this year's team. You meant to say "they can't be vilified this year for games they should've won but lost." But you didn't, because you're a moron.]
Ryan Miller is single-handedly responsible for a half-dozen victories this season, maybe more. Their so-called star players have been mostly average but are gaining momentum.
Again, I thought we couldn't take away from them the wins they have in hand.
Rookie defenseman Tyler Myers has more points than Thomas Vanek
As of the date of my retort, that is no longer the case, and Vanek has played five fewer games. [Ed's Note: This was true for, like, a day. Also, who freakin' cares?? We're winning.]
They won back-to-back games after trailing by three goals.
Nice that you noticed
Tim Connolly took a three-week snooze before waking up.
How long has Tim Kennedy's snooze been? [Ed's Note: Also, Connolly is now threatening the Sabres' team record for most consecutive games with a point. He's at fifteen, the record is eighteen. In a related story, Bucky hasn't eaten anything in three weeks.]
One way or another, they've been winning, or finding ways to scratch out points when it appears, as it did Saturday, none was available.
More Verbal Sleight of Hand. They are winning, but shouldn't be because they suck
They have the best goalie in the league this season in Miller. Their team defense is considerably better than it was last year.
Yet still need better defensemen, as stated above
Newcomers Mike Grier and Steve Montador injected leadership and toughness
But more importantly, given analysts carte blanche to use those cliches
while bringing a professional approach that has kept their teammates on an even keel.
Myers has been the second-best player on the roster behind Miller. Fellow rookie Tim Kennedy has given them the crusty, prickly edge that had been lacking, a solid checking-line center and another inventive forward.
But when he never scores, it isn't a result of a snooze.
The Sabres have more bite, more snarl that comes from competitiveness, builds confidence and leads to stronger chemistry.
OK, this really appears to be a set-up for even more Verbal Sleight of Hand
And they're also benefiting from a weaker division than last season.
Indeed it was
Montreal has played better lately but still hasn't come together after revamping the roster in the offseason. Boston and Ottawa are banged up. Toronto is a mess. Surprise, surprise, the division is there for the taking.
Now, raise your hand and answer this question: Will the Sabres be in second place or higher in the conference when the season ends April 11?
So let me try to sum this up:
The Sabres have a great record, numerous players having good seasons, but, they need a roster full of new players to be good, they have played crappy teams and if they don't win it all, I can come back and say "See, I told you they sucked"
So, I, in one run-on sentence did what Bucky did in one run-on column.
1 - Thank you, Roget's.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
new look, same great taste
For those of you who came here often (also known as "my parents"), you may notice a few changes around here. I decided to change the title from something as arrogant as "Because I Said So" to "Unconventional Wisdom," mainly because the blog has developed into something far more interesting than random, pointless thoughts about the banality that is the life of some dude in Buffalo. Instead it's random, pointless comments on the idiocy of guys that write for the Buffalo News. "Unconventional Wisdom" comes from the fact that hating Tim Connolly, Darcy Regier, Thomas Vanek, Jason Pominville, and Jochen Hecht1, among others are hated evil beings that don't even qualify as human is "conventional" and "rational" around here. As you may have gathered, "conventional wisdom" is really a translation for "acute stupidity" and gets called out. So, in order to talk some sense into folks (which is kind of stupid, since the only people who read this already agree with me), we're championing the unconventional wisdom. Not the Bill Belichick going for it on 4th and 2 with two minutes to go against Peyton "freaking" Manning kind of unconventional wisdom (which didn't work, and was a stupid call regardless of what any made up "odds" say), but rather the Mike McCarthy unexpected onsides kick call in the playoffs kind of unconventional. Sure, unconventional wisdom requires a bit of a gamble, but not a foolish all-or-nothing. That's what we preach around here.
Without further adieu, Bucky's most recent Inside the NHL serves as an unrivaled epitome as to why he should be frequent radio call-in character "Bucky from South Buffalo" and not a person paid to share his comments about professional hockey, or sports in general, with the world.
First, a bit of context. Recently, during a Penguins/Flyers game, a decidedly conclusive replay on a disputed goal scored by the visiting Flyers did not make it to Toronto for video review. As a result, the goal is waived. The outcome of the game wasn't affected2. But, seeing as how the home arena production team is responsible for providing the replay "booth" with the camera angles it needs, somebody screwed up and therefore somebody needed to get reprimanded. Read on, and you'll see who shouldn't have taken the heat, and I'm sure you'll never guess why.
A goal is disallowed in Pittsburgh because the Penguins' broadcast team fails to produce a conclusive angle showing the puck crossing the line. It becomes available after play resumes, making it too late to reverse.
Two thoughts right off the bat: first, that this is a pretty colossal mistake. It calls into question the entire integrity of replay if some broken arrow can manipulate it like this, which thereby calls into question the integrity of the NHL as whole (though I've noticed the NHL doesn't really seem to care about its integrity of late, so long as they're Expanding the Game or some other such nonsense). Second, why the hell would you SHOW the replay once play resumes??? I'm not one for sweeping things under the rug, but at that point it's too late. By subsequently showing you had the information the officials needed, but didn't share it, you might as well add "Nah nah nah nah nah" as the soundtrack while the clip plays.
And that's a television producer's way of sticking it to those dastardly Flyers?
Remember, so far all he's done is describe a very significant blunder on the part of the Pittsburgh broadcast team. No context, no nothing. Just said that they screwed up big, and a Flyers goal was waived off.
Sorry, this one doesn't add up.
Phew! Thanks for that! I hate thinking!
The Flyers' conspiracy theory might appear reasonable from the outside,
Perhaps because we've been provided no other explanation, and trying to screw a cross-state rival is just as a likely a reason as professional oversight.
but there's one critical element that was overlooked when Fox Sports Network Pittsburgh producer Lowell MacDonald was suspended indefinitely for the botched replay:
Any guesses as to what's so critical that it should change the result for the guy in charge of the broadcast? Would you say that it was a deliberate and clandestine maneuver by a diehard Penguins fan working the video feed, such that MacDonald didn't (and couldn't) know until it was too late? Would you say the link to Toronto inexplicably went dead, thereby denying the replay booth the footage it needed? You would? You're wrong.
his integrity and professionalism.
I'll give you one guess, and only one guess, as to where Lowell MacDonald may have worked before Pittsburgh. And I'll give you one guess, and only one guess, as to who he may have been nice to while he was there.
MacDonald, 45, worked the Sabres' broadcasts for years and lived in Orchard Park
I'll give you a moment to collect yourself from the floor...
Back? Good. Moving on...
before leaving for ESPN and eventually landing in Pittsburgh, where he was raised. He's a class act in an oft-seedy business.
So, the guy in charge of sending the replays to the replay officials is working for his hometown team. And works in an "oft-seedy business," which clearly insinuates3 that the characters MacDonald works with would withhold a conclusive replay. So far Bucky's defense of his friend consists of two big strikes against the guy.
He's a former Division I player at Colgate, the son of the former Penguins player with the same name, and knows the game. He has an impeccable reputation for his honesty, character and work ethic.
This is a good guy, not a cheater.
After working against Lowell MacDonald, Bucky then goes on the defensive by saying, essentially, Lowell MacDonald couldn't have done this because Lowell MacDonald is a nice guy.
"I've known Lowell for years and worked closely with him," former Sabres analyst Jim Lorentz said last week by telephone. "He's the best producer I ever worked for. He's very quiet and low key, very intense and takes his job very seriously. It's why he's one of the best. It's not an accident that he worked for ESPN."
This time a quote, but still completely irrelevant. We still have not yet been provided any information mitigating MacDonald's involvement. Again, he appears to have been in charge of the broadcast. A mistake like this falls to him, regardless of who was directly responsible. For example, Tom Brady threw too early and Kevin Faulk didn't get the yardage he needed on 4th and 2. But Bill Belichick takes the heat. That's how it works. That's why the guy in charge gets paid more.
If you knew MacDonald, you would conclude with certainty that he made a mistake.
This was against the rules, of course it was a mistake. I don't need to know Lowell MacDonald to know that he screwed up. Just like I don't need to be a sophisticated music critic to know that the clowns they roll out on the first few episodes of American Idol really suck at singing.
Not a mistake in moral judgment, mind you, just a mistake. I'm not sure exactly what happened with the replay or why it wasn't produced in a timely manner.
Which makes your entire defense COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT. We have not been provided any explanation. Deliberate obstruction of the replay process is currently as valid as gross negligence.
Television types often describe broadcasts as controlled chaos littered with gaffes.
This I understand, but in this particular circumstance you have all the time you need to get it right. How many cameras are going at once? A dozen? Is there only one guy in the booth looking at them all? And even then, it's just your job to pass them along, NOT decide which ones get sent.
MacDonald's reputation has been tarnished by an undertone that his motive was giving the Penguins an advantage.
Because, as of right now, that's just as a likely a careless snafu.
Would he intentionally put his career on the line for a lopsided game in January?
Maybe. What do the Penguins' ratings look like right now? They've been playing pretty crappy lately.
Get an advantage for a team that won the Stanley Cup, is among the best in the league and doesn't need any help from a TV producer?
No way. It doesn't make sense.
Again, Penguins. Crappy. At the time of the review, they were mired in an eight game slump (2-6-0) and on their way to 7 losses in their last nine. What they did last June is completely irrelevant at this point.
"He's a very honest guy," Lorentz said. "In terms of him ever doing anything malicious or to highlight another team is absolutely absurd. He has my full support. I don't think there's an ounce of maliciousness in him."
Great. That's likely true. However, his team still screwed up. Majorly.
The replay in question was the overhead view of Simon Gagne scoring. The play was being reviewed in Toronto, so why officials there didn't demand the overhead view before play resumed is a mystery. It speaks to flaws in the NHL's replay system, not the producer of the broadcast.
Maybe they "demand" the overhead view, but (try this one on) were told it was unavailable. If that's true, the "flaws" in the replay system relate to broadcast producers completely stripping it of any integrity.
Sure enough, after the Flyers demanded action, people were quick to assume that MacDonald's position with FSN Pittsburgh trumped common sense. It's hogwash.
Um, what? I have no idea what you're saying here.
His name has been dragged through various media outlets by people who either don't know him or never met him.
And here. I'm not trying to tear the guy down, but he made a very very big mistake. Or somebody under his control did. He hasn't come forward to say what happened, so we assume the worst. If there's another side to this story, tell it. Don't just say it's impossible for this dude to do something wrong, and to do something wrong on purpose.
FSN Pittsburgh, rather than admit human error and stand up for its employee, handed down a stiff penalty.
As they should. It sends a message, and I bet Toronto will get direct live feeds of Pittsburgh's cameras from now on, including days on which the Penguins aren't actually playing.
"There is nothing more important than the integrity of the game," FSN Pittsburgh said in a statement. "During [the Jan. 7] game against the Philadelphia Flyers, a definitive replay of a Flyers goal was not aired prior to the conclusion of the official review and, as a result, a Flyers goal was not awarded.
"Fortunately, this did not change the outcome of the game. Nonetheless, FSN Pittsburgh's failure to provide video to the league officials in a timely fashion was wholly unacceptable. FSN Pittsburgh has addressed this matter and has taken steps to ensure that such a failure does not occur again."
A logical, reasoned, proportionate response to an embarrassing mistake. FSN Pittsburgh is the bad guy here?
MacDonald couldn't be reached for comment last week. My guess is he's embarrassed by the blunder, confused by the harsh reaction and uncomfortable with becoming the story rather than covering it.
This may all be true. But due to his blunder, the integrity of the game of professional hockey is now in doubt. Say something to clear the air, even if it's "You're all full of shit, leave me alone."
This isn't the time to create distance between him, as FSN Pittsburgh did, but to stand alongside him.
Was he fired? I could understand if he was. It seems severe, especially since we don't know details, but understandable nevertheless. He's brought a lot of heat on FSN Pittsburgh, and creating distance makes sense.
At least they didn't fire him.
Oh.
Something tells me he'll get his job back once the situation blows over.
Probably. By all accounts this appears to be the exception here. And, again, I don't know what happened. I do know that a very plausible explanation, as of right now, is that Lowell MacDonald hates the Flyers because he grew up in Pittsburgh and his dad was a Penguin, and realized he had an opportunity to steal a goal from them. Or, it could've been a technical difficulty.
I hate to use it twice, but, Bucky's playing this role all over again.
1 - Especially Jochen Hecht.
2 - Thankfully.
3 - Thank you Jerry Sullivan.
Without further adieu, Bucky's most recent Inside the NHL serves as an unrivaled epitome as to why he should be frequent radio call-in character "Bucky from South Buffalo" and not a person paid to share his comments about professional hockey, or sports in general, with the world.
First, a bit of context. Recently, during a Penguins/Flyers game, a decidedly conclusive replay on a disputed goal scored by the visiting Flyers did not make it to Toronto for video review. As a result, the goal is waived. The outcome of the game wasn't affected2. But, seeing as how the home arena production team is responsible for providing the replay "booth" with the camera angles it needs, somebody screwed up and therefore somebody needed to get reprimanded. Read on, and you'll see who shouldn't have taken the heat, and I'm sure you'll never guess why.
A goal is disallowed in Pittsburgh because the Penguins' broadcast team fails to produce a conclusive angle showing the puck crossing the line. It becomes available after play resumes, making it too late to reverse.
Two thoughts right off the bat: first, that this is a pretty colossal mistake. It calls into question the entire integrity of replay if some broken arrow can manipulate it like this, which thereby calls into question the integrity of the NHL as whole (though I've noticed the NHL doesn't really seem to care about its integrity of late, so long as they're Expanding the Game or some other such nonsense). Second, why the hell would you SHOW the replay once play resumes??? I'm not one for sweeping things under the rug, but at that point it's too late. By subsequently showing you had the information the officials needed, but didn't share it, you might as well add "Nah nah nah nah nah" as the soundtrack while the clip plays.
And that's a television producer's way of sticking it to those dastardly Flyers?
Remember, so far all he's done is describe a very significant blunder on the part of the Pittsburgh broadcast team. No context, no nothing. Just said that they screwed up big, and a Flyers goal was waived off.
Sorry, this one doesn't add up.
Phew! Thanks for that! I hate thinking!
The Flyers' conspiracy theory might appear reasonable from the outside,
Perhaps because we've been provided no other explanation, and trying to screw a cross-state rival is just as a likely a reason as professional oversight.
but there's one critical element that was overlooked when Fox Sports Network Pittsburgh producer Lowell MacDonald was suspended indefinitely for the botched replay:
Any guesses as to what's so critical that it should change the result for the guy in charge of the broadcast? Would you say that it was a deliberate and clandestine maneuver by a diehard Penguins fan working the video feed, such that MacDonald didn't (and couldn't) know until it was too late? Would you say the link to Toronto inexplicably went dead, thereby denying the replay booth the footage it needed? You would? You're wrong.
his integrity and professionalism.
I'll give you one guess, and only one guess, as to where Lowell MacDonald may have worked before Pittsburgh. And I'll give you one guess, and only one guess, as to who he may have been nice to while he was there.
MacDonald, 45, worked the Sabres' broadcasts for years and lived in Orchard Park
I'll give you a moment to collect yourself from the floor...
Back? Good. Moving on...
before leaving for ESPN and eventually landing in Pittsburgh, where he was raised. He's a class act in an oft-seedy business.
So, the guy in charge of sending the replays to the replay officials is working for his hometown team. And works in an "oft-seedy business," which clearly insinuates3 that the characters MacDonald works with would withhold a conclusive replay. So far Bucky's defense of his friend consists of two big strikes against the guy.
He's a former Division I player at Colgate, the son of the former Penguins player with the same name, and knows the game. He has an impeccable reputation for his honesty, character and work ethic.
This is a good guy, not a cheater.
After working against Lowell MacDonald, Bucky then goes on the defensive by saying, essentially, Lowell MacDonald couldn't have done this because Lowell MacDonald is a nice guy.
"I've known Lowell for years and worked closely with him," former Sabres analyst Jim Lorentz said last week by telephone. "He's the best producer I ever worked for. He's very quiet and low key, very intense and takes his job very seriously. It's why he's one of the best. It's not an accident that he worked for ESPN."
This time a quote, but still completely irrelevant. We still have not yet been provided any information mitigating MacDonald's involvement. Again, he appears to have been in charge of the broadcast. A mistake like this falls to him, regardless of who was directly responsible. For example, Tom Brady threw too early and Kevin Faulk didn't get the yardage he needed on 4th and 2. But Bill Belichick takes the heat. That's how it works. That's why the guy in charge gets paid more.
If you knew MacDonald, you would conclude with certainty that he made a mistake.
This was against the rules, of course it was a mistake. I don't need to know Lowell MacDonald to know that he screwed up. Just like I don't need to be a sophisticated music critic to know that the clowns they roll out on the first few episodes of American Idol really suck at singing.
Not a mistake in moral judgment, mind you, just a mistake. I'm not sure exactly what happened with the replay or why it wasn't produced in a timely manner.
Which makes your entire defense COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT. We have not been provided any explanation. Deliberate obstruction of the replay process is currently as valid as gross negligence.
Television types often describe broadcasts as controlled chaos littered with gaffes.
This I understand, but in this particular circumstance you have all the time you need to get it right. How many cameras are going at once? A dozen? Is there only one guy in the booth looking at them all? And even then, it's just your job to pass them along, NOT decide which ones get sent.
MacDonald's reputation has been tarnished by an undertone that his motive was giving the Penguins an advantage.
Because, as of right now, that's just as a likely a careless snafu.
Would he intentionally put his career on the line for a lopsided game in January?
Maybe. What do the Penguins' ratings look like right now? They've been playing pretty crappy lately.
Get an advantage for a team that won the Stanley Cup, is among the best in the league and doesn't need any help from a TV producer?
No way. It doesn't make sense.
Again, Penguins. Crappy. At the time of the review, they were mired in an eight game slump (2-6-0) and on their way to 7 losses in their last nine. What they did last June is completely irrelevant at this point.
"He's a very honest guy," Lorentz said. "In terms of him ever doing anything malicious or to highlight another team is absolutely absurd. He has my full support. I don't think there's an ounce of maliciousness in him."
Great. That's likely true. However, his team still screwed up. Majorly.
The replay in question was the overhead view of Simon Gagne scoring. The play was being reviewed in Toronto, so why officials there didn't demand the overhead view before play resumed is a mystery. It speaks to flaws in the NHL's replay system, not the producer of the broadcast.
Maybe they "demand" the overhead view, but (try this one on) were told it was unavailable. If that's true, the "flaws" in the replay system relate to broadcast producers completely stripping it of any integrity.
Sure enough, after the Flyers demanded action, people were quick to assume that MacDonald's position with FSN Pittsburgh trumped common sense. It's hogwash.
Um, what? I have no idea what you're saying here.
His name has been dragged through various media outlets by people who either don't know him or never met him.
And here. I'm not trying to tear the guy down, but he made a very very big mistake. Or somebody under his control did. He hasn't come forward to say what happened, so we assume the worst. If there's another side to this story, tell it. Don't just say it's impossible for this dude to do something wrong, and to do something wrong on purpose.
FSN Pittsburgh, rather than admit human error and stand up for its employee, handed down a stiff penalty.
As they should. It sends a message, and I bet Toronto will get direct live feeds of Pittsburgh's cameras from now on, including days on which the Penguins aren't actually playing.
"There is nothing more important than the integrity of the game," FSN Pittsburgh said in a statement. "During [the Jan. 7] game against the Philadelphia Flyers, a definitive replay of a Flyers goal was not aired prior to the conclusion of the official review and, as a result, a Flyers goal was not awarded.
"Fortunately, this did not change the outcome of the game. Nonetheless, FSN Pittsburgh's failure to provide video to the league officials in a timely fashion was wholly unacceptable. FSN Pittsburgh has addressed this matter and has taken steps to ensure that such a failure does not occur again."
A logical, reasoned, proportionate response to an embarrassing mistake. FSN Pittsburgh is the bad guy here?
MacDonald couldn't be reached for comment last week. My guess is he's embarrassed by the blunder, confused by the harsh reaction and uncomfortable with becoming the story rather than covering it.
This may all be true. But due to his blunder, the integrity of the game of professional hockey is now in doubt. Say something to clear the air, even if it's "You're all full of shit, leave me alone."
This isn't the time to create distance between him, as FSN Pittsburgh did, but to stand alongside him.
Was he fired? I could understand if he was. It seems severe, especially since we don't know details, but understandable nevertheless. He's brought a lot of heat on FSN Pittsburgh, and creating distance makes sense.
At least they didn't fire him.
Oh.
Something tells me he'll get his job back once the situation blows over.
Probably. By all accounts this appears to be the exception here. And, again, I don't know what happened. I do know that a very plausible explanation, as of right now, is that Lowell MacDonald hates the Flyers because he grew up in Pittsburgh and his dad was a Penguin, and realized he had an opportunity to steal a goal from them. Or, it could've been a technical difficulty.
I hate to use it twice, but, Bucky's playing this role all over again.
1 - Especially Jochen Hecht.
2 - Thankfully.
3 - Thank you Jerry Sullivan.
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