smorgasbord!

Been a while since I've been able to pull out the smorgasbord tag, as we've mostly had to suffer hockey (with occasional football) commentary. For the past few months I've been suffering. It's been pure agony, wondering "Well, yeah, the Sabres are lousy good lousy good, but what does Bucky think about College Basketball and NASCAR??" Thankfully, he finally scratched that itch. And we all reap the benefits.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying the mental image I have of Bucky watching Tim Connolly hang four points on the board today (including two goals!).

michael.w got to it first, so I added my comments in italics, because they're more important.

Mike Shanahan is taking his time before deciding whether his next coaching job will be in Buffalo, which is good news for the Bills. Shanahan could be stalling while waiting for a better opportunity, but he's also doing a favor for the Bills by giving them extra time to decide if he's the right guy for them.

He's also aware that come early January, there will be about a half a dozen open NFL coaching football positions, as is always the case. Wait, I am breaking down football. Let me rephrase: Come January there will be about half a dozen open coaching positions in the NATIONAL!!!! FOOTBALL!!!! LEAGUE!!!! (That's how you have to say it apparently) [Ed's Note: only if you're Ron Jaworski. One thing we do need to eliminate from the football vernacular is "hat on a hat." You're not bringing us on the inside. You sound stupid.]

But I digress, why should Shanahan take the first offer when several will be available. He could use this as leverage. [Ed's Note: "Leverage" is something everybody needs to keep in mind when they say "Drury and Briere would've stayed in Buffalo for less if only the Sabres negotiated sooner." Which is stupid. If the Sabres offered Drury $25 million for five years, Drury knows his baseline. He can negotiate freely, knowing that's as low as he'll have to go. There's more, but I'm tired and we need to get to more stupid suggestions for the Bills' front office.]

Just about anybody would be an upgrade over Dick Jauron,

Really? How about me?

so it's easy for desperate fans to get excited about a big-name replacement who showed enough interest in Buffalo to have so-called discovery talks. But the Bills just might discover a better candidate.

Nice word play. But I have to call shenanigans. Please cite the movie "Fracture." I am pretty sure that's from where Bucky discovered the discovery/discover word play. Sorry, I did too.

The Bills shouldn't give up in their pursuit of Bill Cowher,

Did anyone say they did?

who said he wasn't yet interested in interviews with teams. It could be interpreted in a few different ways, but it didn't sound like he was slamming the door on Buffalo so much as concentrating on his duties with CBS until after the season.

Seems reasonable. [Ed's Note: Because he probably knows that he can wait as long as he wants. And why take a crappy job for a team that has only about three NFL players and a front office nightmare?]

If that's the case, the Bills should admire him even more for properly handling the situation. Cowher was refusing to compromise his current job by focusing his time and energy elsewhere. That's the kind of person they should want running football operations, including coaching.

Really? He is qualified to be the head coach because he pulled the line that, I don't know, EVERY OTHER PERSON uses in a similar situation? Great, thanks for that. Ignore that Cowher successfully navigated the Steelers through numerous salary cap casualties, crappy quarterbacks and consistently got them deep into the playofffs. That's why I would be interested in him. Not because he readily spews pre-package PR crap. But at least Bucky cannot come up with any other meaningless reasons to hire Cowher.

Shanahan could be a fit, but Cowher would be a better one. He's a Pittsburgh guy, and he understands the charm that comes with a hard-working, passionate football town.

I spoke too soon. [Ed's Note: Stupid. Also, I love how Pittsburgh and Buffalo are the only hard-working, passionate football towns in the country. Shanahan can't possibly understand that after coaching in Denver, where everybody's lazy, apathetic and only follow curling.]

Show him the same enthusiasm he expects from his players, give him power over all personnel decisions, plus $10 million for the effort, and you just might land him.

So long as no one offers him say, $11 million.

Syracuse has made the transition look easy after losing its top three scorers in Niagara Falls products Jonny Flynn and Paul Harris and shooter Eric Devendorf. The previously unranked Orange (5-0) soared to No. 10 in this week's AP top 25 poll after hammering California and North Carolina last week.

Syracuse native Brandon Triche, whose uncle Howard played for SU back in the 1980s, could evolve into one of the nation's top freshmen. SU should be 8-0 going into Florida on Dec. 10 and has enough talent to contend in the Big East. They would have been among the early favorites for an NCAA title had the aforementioned three stuck around.

This paragraph is entered solely to demonstrate Bucky's knowledge that Flynn and Harris are from Niagara Falls, and that Triche is from Syracuse and has an uncle that played at SU. [Ed's Note: This is also really poorly written. The way it's set up, "shooter" is supposed to separate Eric Devendorf from Niagara Falls (where I believe he's not from), but he gets lumped in with Flynn and Harris.]

Obviously, my decision to stagger through a 5K a few years ago still inspires Maura Frauenhofer, the women's winner of the Turkey Trot. Yes, I'm kidding. In the interest of full disclosure, she's my niece.

For the first time in the history of Bucky Gleason columns, we get full disclosure.

Jimmie Johnson made history when he won his fourth straight NASCAR title, but talk about him being the best driver ever is premature if not grossly inaccurate. Johnson is a great driver and a prince, but he's basically the quarterback for the best team. The emphasis was greater on the driver years ago. And that's why Richard Petty remains the king.

Yes, the quarterback of the best team never, ever has been considered the best ever in football. I mean no one has ever asserted that Joe Montana, Terry Bradshaw, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady are the best... What?... You mean they have?? My bad. And do we have to compare everything in sports to the quarterback?

Can we agree that Dale Earnhardt Jr. has run out of excuses? He changed teams, crew chiefs and sponsors, and the results have been worse. He has one victory over the past three seasons, hasn't won twice in the same year since 2004 and was 25th in the standings this year.

Especially since Jimmie Johnson keeps winning. Plus I read somewhere that the team surrounding a NASCAR driver is quite important. In fact, the driver was compared to the quarterback in football. Perhaps using that analogy, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. is a very good to great quarterback on a dreadfully bad team. For example, Steve Young in Tampa vs. Steve Young in San Francisco. I cannot remember where I read this driver to quarterback comparison. I mean, I know I read it, who... Oh yeah, its the FREAKING PARAGRAPH ABOVE THIS ONE!!!!!

Alex Ovechkin deserved a penalty for boarding when he drilled hometown boy Patrick Kaleta,

Really, Kaleta is from Buffalo? What tidbit of information are you going to tell me next, that Brady Quinn's sister dated A.J. Hawk? That Chad Henne went to Michigan and Brian Hartline went to Ohio State, and those schools are rivals? That Citizen's Bank Park and the "new" Yankee Stadium are hitter friendly parks? I really need to know these things, they are never mentioned.

on Wednesday night, but he shouldn't have been ejected. The Sabres would have been furious had the situation been reversed. If only the Sabres had a top-six forward who played with that much aggression.

OK, I actually agree with Ovechkin not warranting an ejection, and the Sabres lack a top-six forward who plays with such aggression. I am surprised that Ovechkin doesn't have to have a food taster because Bucky would be poisoning his food. Probably because he didn't blow up Tim Kennedy or Tyler Myers. And you know, I am more concerned with the top-six forwards not scoring goals.

Athletes would rally around a bowl of soup for motivation, but don't underestimate the effect UB unveiling its banner for winning the MAC regular-season hoops title had on Canisius. "They could have done it before the first game [an exhibition against Daemen]," Griffs guard Julius Coles said. UB dropped the banner, but Coles dropped the hammer with 26 points in the victory.

OK, I won't underestimate it. Where is Julius Coles from? I am sure not Buffalo, because that would not have escaped mention had it been the case. [Ed's Note: According to Canisius, Julius Coles is from Harlem, but according to Wikipedia he's the president of something called Africare. Also, seriously? They got juiced up because UB hung a banner? Plus, there's only one athlete I can think of who rallies around of a bowl of soup for motivation. That's Donovan McNabb, and only because he was paid handsomely to do so.]

fire bucky gleason, it's about time edition

I'm surprised it took until the end of November, but we finally got the column we were all expecting. Before I get started, I'd just like to point out that in the Sabres' first 17 games they were 12-4-1 and led the the Northeast Division. Again, going in to last week they were in first place and positioned to take the overall points lead in the Eastern Conference. Got it? Good.

If you withstood the damp breeze and waited at the foot of Washington Street until the puck was dropped Friday night, you had a pretty good chance to talk the scalpers outside HSBC Arena into coughing up a couple of Sabres' tickets for little more than a few bucks and a song.

If you wait until the puck drops you can generally talk scalpers into giving you tickets for nothing regardless of how the team's playing. It's not because the Sabres are lousy, it's because those tickets are very rapidly losing value by the second. I got a seat to Buffalo-Carolina Game 6 in '06 for $80 by waiting. That ticket was worth three times that, at least.

Gone are the days when 18,690 was a given downtown for a Friday night game against anybody, let alone a longtime rival and the defending division champ. After all, the Bruins were in town, not the Blue Jackets, yet blocks of seats remained vacant in the 300 level for a silver game.

I really don't know what to say to this. The Bruins are the defending division champ, true, but they're also struggling mightily this season. Two of their best players were injured. Plus, it's a silver game making it that much more expensive. Hell, the Blue Jackets probably would have packed the house because it would've been a bronze game and Rick Nash isn't on the shelf. In conclusion, this paragraph (and the paragraph I wrote about it) stole five minutes of your life.

It's hardly a sign of doom,

Then why the hell are you being so damn ominous about it?

but a few years ago fans would have lined up for any ticket.

Because everybody was surprised with how good the Sabres were coming out of the lockout. The 2006-07 regular season was a pretty magical ride.

People have become more judicious with their buck and more skeptical about their team.

I'm going to pause here for a moment to remind everyone that the Sabres were 12-4-1 entering last week. Caught up? OK.

Perhaps you can blame a slow economy

Probably a pretty good excuse. All we hear all damn day long is how the economy's in the toilet, nobody has any money, and there's no hope in sight. So, naturally, people are going to be scared about how they're spending their money. $150 for a pair of Sabres tickets are a luxury a lot of people can't afford right now.

or the Bills

The Bills are 3-7, and everybody's really pissed off about them. I doubt they're stealing fans. Especially on a Friday night.

or the time of year with Thanksgiving around the corner and Christmas five weeks away.

Meaning, on top of the slow economy, most folks are even more acutely aware of their bottom line since they need to set aside a pretty healthy amount of their income for holiday expenses.

With two legitimate reasons as to why ticket sales are slow (even the mighty NFL is seeing a drop off in attendance, at games for teams that don't suck; but as a consequence, their TV ratings are through the roof so people still care), and one lousy reason, I'm sure the issue is pretty well resolved. I'm surprised this column is so short, because we've really explored-

Or perhaps it says something about the Sabres.

Oh.

Buffalo had had another uneventful night Friday before getting what they had coming, a 2-1 overtime loss to a patient Boston team.

So, people didn't go to the game Friday because they expected the Sabres to lose? What? They started off 12-4-1, and were 12-5-1 going into Friday. The wheels fell off after one loss??

It was a predictable ending considering how Buffalo played for much of the game before Patrice Bergeron deflected Zdeno Chara's shot from the blue line past Ryan Miller.

Didn't see the game. Can't confirm. But it was in overtime. So, if the Sabres were really that uneventful, forcing OT and getting a point is actually a pretty decent outcome all things considered.

It's funny how Buffalo has humbly plodded along and taken over first place in the division without the unmistakable buzz that accompanies local teams with promise.

This may, or may not, have something to do with the fact that local media outlets jump down the team's throat after one overtime loss, apparently. I was excited about their division lead, but I also realized that there's still a lot of hockey left to play.

Fans are optimistic while proceeding with caution, reluctant to completely jump on board.

Because all they hear all offseason ever is how stupid the general manager is, and how lousy all the players not born in South Buffalo are. I think fans are on board, but aren't ready to throw around "Stanley Cup contender" after 20 games, because if you do you're insane. Remember when the Jets were 3-0, had the AFC East by the throat, and Mark Sanchez was a brilliant manchild with the full complement of NFL quarterback skills? How'd the work out? They're 1-6 since and all the playoff talk turned out to be premature? Oh.

You can't blame them.

For not jumping off the deep end twenty games in? No, not at all. What's your excuse?

That's what happens when a team misses the playoffs for two straight seasons.

Oh god. Cut that out. If fans are allowed to be pessimistic ninnies after barely missing the playoffs for two years, then they shouldn't be allowed to get excited if the Sabres make the Conference Finals and then win their first ten games the following season.

The Sabres were only about 400 fans short of a sellout, but it sounded more like 4,000.

Hold on... I thought tickets were so easy to come by you could hoodwink even the most skilled scalper? Now we discover that approximately 18,290 people showed up. That's a pretty solid number. Percentage-wise it's even closer. Canadian (Canadian!) are seeing thousands of tickets go unsold, so by comparison (a really stupid comparison, but a comparison still) we're in great shape. Especially considering the economy, and how everybody likes to harp on how Buffalo apparently only has two nickels to rub together. And they're both at M&T Bank.

Heck, fans couldn't even muster up enough rage to greet winger Daniel Paille with the customary boos reserved for ex-Sabres making their returns.

Holy. Freaking. Crap. I thought we were supposed to give returning players standing ovations?

He was treated largely with indifference,

Maybe because he's Daniel Paille. Doug Janik didn't take any heat when he returned with the Lightning, nor did Michael Ryan. Dan Paille was treated with indifference because he's a guy who couldn't get on the ice, and spent much of recent seasons watching from the press box. Fans didn't get to know him well enough to care.

which was basically how fans reacted for most of the game before hitting the streets and trying to make sense of another disappointing effort.

Just to be clear, after this game Buffalo had still won almost two-thirds of their games this season. If fans were "trying to make sense of another disappointing effort" it's because it's very uncharacteristic of these Sabres this season.

It's hard to figure out this team, really.

Not really. They're a good hockey team with a lot of talent. There are 82 games in the season. We're not going to win all of them. Boston also happens to have talent. They beat us. It happens.

Right when it appears they're ready to make a surge, they take a step back. The game Friday night wasn't quite the insufferable snoozer they played Wednesday night against the Panthers, but there wasn't much to get people out of their seats, either. The loss to Florida could be discarded as a clunker, an aberration considering how well they had played.

Crucial Admission No. 1: through the first seventeen games the Sabres played well. So well even Bucky Gleason was forced to admit they're a good hockey team. With that in mind, a bad game here or there is forgivable since it's an aberration¹.

This one was better,

Meaning, of course, the Panthers game really was an aberration.

but the Sabres still failed to establish themselves as the hungrier team. They generated little offense and few scoring chances.

Judging by the low score, neither did Boston. And, if Boston did generate a lot of offense, hats off to the Sabres' D and Miller for shutting it down most of the night.

They were outshot, 14-3, in the second period

They're always outshot in the second period.

against a Boston team that traveled Thursday night after beating Atlanta in a shootout.

Meh. Usually that should be an advantage, but Boston's starting to find itself. Also, under that logic Buffalo should never win the second game of a back-to-back set.

Buffalo played better in the third

Because for whatever reason they tend to take the second period off. What you're saying here is that this is a good hockey team that met a pretty strong opponent. It happens. 82 games, remember.

but overall it lacked, well, the necessary oomph that resonates throughout the building.

Translation: "I couldn't find anything actually wrong with their performance in the third period, but because they didn't win something was lacking and I'm going to blast them for not winning, which should be criminal in Buffalo and Erie County."

For all the excitement they generated while going 12-4-1 in their first 17 games,

For the record, it's not until we're two-thirds through the entire column that we learn just how well the Sabres played to start the season. Pathetic. But, it gets even better...

you couldn't help but wonder if their last two were more indicative of them needing to claw their way through the season.

There you have it, folks. 2 game sample size of one bad game and one strong game where Buffalo just came up short > 17 game sample size including lots of excellent hockey. This in a column where he openly wonders why fans get convinced their local teams are lousy.

Paul Gaustad proved he was a gamer once again, and not just because he scored after parking his sturdy frame just outside the crease. He and Patrick Kaleta showed up with the same intensity and snarl people have come to expect. Just about every other forward was MIA.

"Just about every other forward" means everybody but Tim Kennedy, natch.

Thomas Vanek had a few weak scoring chances but for the most part lacked energy and emotion for another evening.

But he had scoring chances. According to last week's column, just having scoring opportunities is enough. Remember that? When you worshipped Tim Kennedy for where he was putting his fanny? Even though he still has only five points?

Tim Connolly, who hasn't scored in nine games, was noticeable only when he was giving away the puck.

Shenanigans. Shenanigans, shenanigans, shenanigans. You are deliberately misleading. True, Connolly has not scored a goal in what is now ten games. But in that ten game stretch he has seven (7!) assists for seven points. Points (and assists, for that matter) happen to be a statistical category in which he currently leads all Sabres. To compare, Tim Kennedy during that ten game stretch also has zero goals, but only one assist for one point. So, in sum, it's OK for Tim Kennedy to not score points because he's from South Buffalo and plays a puck possession style. But it's not OK for Tim Connolly to not score goals because he's from Syracuse and plays a better style of puck possession. Got it? Me neither. If you do follow that logic you're probably the guy I hate sitting next to at Sabres' games.

I honestly do not know what Bucky Gleason has against Tim Connolly, other than that he wasn't traded last year. Whenever Connolly generates a point (which he does a lot, to the tune of 17 in 20 games), I picture Bucky sitting there like this, mumbling to himself angrily about how this is what Tim should be doing:


The core of veteran players who should be leading the Sabres inhibited them.

The core of veteran players also gave up one regulation goal. You just said last week that scoring goals is not more important than preventing them. Do you remember anything you write at all, ever?

Let's remember,

Why start now?

too, that the Bruins were without Marc Savard. Backup Tuukka Rask was hardly forced to stand on his head. Milan Lucic was playing just his second game after missing 14 games, but he was his usual miserable self before scoring a goal off a two-on-one with the Sabres slow getting back.

Speechless. Again.

Tonight's game against the Senators marks the 20th of the season, the proverbial quarter pole.

I've come to hate the word "proverbial." The word you're actually looking for here is "metaphorical" but for some reason, that word doesn't have any popular usage. And it's barely a metaphorical quarter pole, since 20 is roughly 25% of 82. It actually is the approximate end to the first quarter of the season.

It's over the next 20 games that the Sabres can turn a strong start into a good season and make a case for themselves as a viable playoff team.

And it's over the following 20 games that the Sabres can solidify their playoff chances. And it's over the final 20 games that the Sabres can clinch their playoff spot. Stop writing stupid things.

For now, I'm still not sold.

Again, I just want to make sure we're all entirely clear what Bucky Gleason is saying here. The Sabres started off strong, going 12-4-1 and taking the lead in their division. They struggled to 12-6-2 to finish out the first twenty, but are still very much in control of the Northeast. However, the 12-4-1 start counts for absolutely nothing and we should really look at their 0-2-1 week to see what the "Real Sabres" are. I really can't comprehend how galactically stupid this is. Of course Buffalo's fortunes can change, it's a long season. But until they play as badly for a stretch long enough to actually contradict how well they started I won't be sold on what you're trying to sell here ("These guys suck!"). This is so extreme it qualifies as buckyperbole.

¹ - Many thanks go out to Roget's Thesaurus for helping Bucky learn the word "aberration" which I do not believe he would've come up with on his own.

fire bucky gleason, pathetic mancrush edition

With a headline like "Sabres' Kennedy sees the big picture," it doesn't really get much more obvious as to what's going to follow when it comes from our Bucky Gleason of the Day, Bucky Gleason.

I'm actually kind of conflicted here. Do we compliment Bucky on his shamelessness here? Apparently he's not bothered at all about how he may be perceived. But this is so unbelievably bad, I don't understand how it squeezes through the editing process. I'm beginning to think that Warren Buffett's golden retriever actually is the News' sports editor.

Tim Kennedy hasn't taken a full lap around the NHL, but he already knows how it works.

A full lap is playing a full season, or playing each team? One way or another, he seems like a pretty smart guy to figure it out so quickly.

You want to score goals? Get your fanny to the net. You want to help your team and make a good living in the best travel hockey league in the world? Get your fanny to both ends of the rink.

Dangerously close to plaschke-nanigans on the "best travel hockey league in the world." Also, fanny? Really? Are you my 68 year old second grade teacher?

Kennedy was hardly fretting about a seven-game scoring drought that ended Saturday when he set up fellow rookie Tyler Ennis for his first NHL goal in the Buffalo Sabres' 3-2 victory over the Philadelphia Flyers.

Whoa! Kennedy didn't register a point for seven games? That's a pretty significant scoring drought. They've only played 17 so far, meaning he was without for almost half the season up to this point. But you know what I'm wondering right now? How did this guy deal with it? I'm sure a true professional from Ontario or Alberta or Europe, where I'm sure he's from because no local guy could ever make it to the pros much less make it to the pros for the local team, handled it with aplomb.

Instead, the South Buffalo native

Holy crap!! He's from Buffalo???? Amazing!! Somebody should've mentioned this sooner!!

looked at a bigger picture that showed he was playing well for a Sabres team leading its division.

He was playing well? You just said he hadn't scored a point in seven straight games, which is a long time. It'd be like Terrell Owens not scoring a touchdown in three straight... nevermind.

"I don't really stress about [scoring] as long as our line is playing well," Kennedy said.

This is presented as a valid sentiment. I'm filing this away for when Jochen Hecht "sucks" again.

"We're creating opportunities and playing well in our own zone. That's all I care about right now. I've been playing hockey long enough to know that you go on streaks sometimes, and those points will come in bunches."

What a true professional! What a veteran concept! He's obviously a lunchpail kind of guy who will be a blue collar fan favorite, since he's playing both ends of the rink and always has his A game.

For what it's worth, Kennedy has one goal and five points.

Wait, I thought he was awesome? Those numbers kind of suck.

This is the only point total that mattered: 25.

That's how many the Sabres have earned through 17 games with a 12-4-1 record. Their strong start continued with three straight victories in four nights, including back-to-back wins over Calgary and Philadelphia.

Are we still talking about Tim Kennedy? The Sabres are playing well, though, which is cool. But after three games in four nights, what did they do on the fifth day?

They were off Sunday.

Oh, cool.

Forget the individual stats.

He left out "until Tallinder, Lydman, Connolly, Hecht, or Lalime go through a rough patch, when individual stats will not only not be forgotten, they'll be made up!"

Kennedy has been solid for the Sabres while centering the third line and playing against the opposing team's top two lines virtually every game, giving Buffalo its first true checking line in years, while he adjusts to playing in the NHL.

This is a little trickier, but upon closer inspection "playing against the opposing team's top two lines virtually every game" means: 1) he does not, in fact, play against the opponent's top two lines every game, and 2) when you're skating 10-15 shifts a game you're bound to see each line at least once (thereby making this statement accurate, but still misleading). This does not take into account that maybe, perhaps the opposing coach is trying to match his top two lines against these guys because they're not exactly generating a wealth of offense (judging by Kennedy's plus-minus anyways).

"They're the one line you really feel good about putting on the ice," Sabres coach Lindy Ruff said. "They're a puck-possession line. They've had good opportunities. They don't make that real low-percentage play. Every play that line usually makes against the top lines is a high-percentage play. Just get it to the net."

This kind of says nothing. Actually, I take that back. This says nothing.

Kennedy has had veteran Jochen Hecht on his flank almost all season. Mike Grier was playing the right side before injuring his groin.

Relevance? Anyone? Anyone?

**WARNING!!**
What follows qualifies as pornography in the Gleason household. Reader discretion is advised.

Angola native Patrick Kaleta was bumped up from the fourth line, giving the Sabres two Buffalo-born forwards on the same line for the first time in history.

"The B-lo line," Kaleta said with a smile.

I'm speechless. Seriously, I can't believe this is actually happening.

If the Buffalo boys continue playing their style, they will remain in good standing with Ruff. Kennedy made the roster because he played so well defensively that Ruff had to keep him. Kaleta has a spot because he was willing to skate through a wall when he wasn't throwing someone through one.

All I can say right now is please, if there is any kind of merciful deity watching over us, please do not let Patrick Kane ever sign with the Sabres. Or Brooks Orpik. Please.

Kennedy, 23, is a terrific skater and puck-handler who also plays with plenty of bite.

Gotta be careful there. Jarkko Ruutu also plays with plenty of bite, which is a great way to get fined.

Ruff knows his point totals would certainly be higher if he played on the power play,

Saying this is like saying "Dick Jauron Perry Fewell knows Lee Evans' touchdown totals would be higher if his quarterbacks actually threw him the football."

but that's not where he needs Kennedy.

Most likely because, as noted above, Tim Kennedy doesn't really generate a lot of points.

Ruff would rather have the rookie available for the first shift after the Sabres' PP, when the opposition typically sends out its top scoring line.

Unfortunately I am in no position to verify or dispute this. Perhaps we could get a quote from Lindy saying that this is the case?

"I'm pleased with the way he's played," Ruff said. "I would love to see him cash in on a few opportunities, and I think that will come. As a line, they scored some important goals for us early on. No points [for seven games]? That part will come."

Or how about a completely banal assessment of Kennedy's play thus far, with no articulation as to what happens after a power play goal whatsoever.

It explains why Ruff, for all the conversations he had with Kennedy about his play, hasn't mentioned a word to the rookie about producing more points. After all, when did scoring goals become more important than preventing them?

Whenever you write about Tim Connolly, who, FYI, also happens to be great at puck possession. Some of the things Connolly does with the puck on his stick would've gotten him burned at the stake in 17th century Salem.

Kennedy has a plus-1 rating, an accomplishment given his role.

A +1 rating isn't an accomplishment. It's barely breaking even. You're distorting his role. Just a few lines ago you're saying the points are going to come, so obviously Kennedy (and his line) are still charged with the task of scoring goals. Seriously, who sends a line on to the ice with instructions to not score? But now, since Kennedy apparently gets zero power play time, his five points and plus one means his line's also been on the ice for four opposing goals. I'm not saying it's terrible, but I will say it doesn't deserve an entire column pointing this fact out.

Kennedy's defense has created offensive opportunities, which is what Ruff has been preaching for years.

That apparently no one converts, judging by the numbers.

The Sabres spent much of the game against Philly playing — shhhh! — the neutral zone trap, which enabled them to control the tempo. Kennedy had one good scoring chance, but Ray Emery stopped it with his blocker.

This is almost identical to the comment that got John Wawrow blasted in August, when T.O. would've scored but for a "perfect" tackle. This sentence basically says "Kennedy had a good scoring chance, but the opposing goalie did what he's paid to do."

He has had more scoring opportunities than he could count but failed to convert on all but one for a variety of reasons. It includes unlucky bounces that get smothered in the crease (Edmonton last week) to great saves (Boston the previous weekend) to simply failing to get his shot off quickly enough against the best goalies in the world.

Excuse, excuse, poor execution out of Tim Kennedy. Does your editor pay any attention to what you write at all ever?

At some point, that will change.

Unless, of course, it doesn't, but Bucky will still love you because you're from South Buffalo. Or so I hear, at least.

"If I keep getting them and don't start scoring, that's on me," Kennedy said.

Timmy Kennedy, accountable.

"Right now, they're not going in, but who knows? Last year [in Portland], it was the same thing. I wasn't scoring for a little bit and ended up going on a good streak.

Timmy Kennedy, potential.

That's how it comes right now with the pros. You go through droughts for some games, and then you go on a hot streak. Hopefully, a hot streak is coming around."

Timmy Kennedy, veteran beyond his years.

I'm assuming the drafting of this column used up the entire kleenex supply in the Gleason household. I think a few tags are warranted here.

fire bucky gleason, stick to your own sport edition

It's not that I'm surprised we got this column. I am surprised that it's not who I expected it to be from, and that we got it today instead of Sunday. Oh, Jerry. Stick to football, sir. This is your second hockey column in a while, and both get you on here.

Now, admittedly, there's a kernel of actual accuracy in this giant Buffalo News Pets lovefest. Lindy Ruff clearly does not trust Patrick Lalime, and as a result, plays Ryan Miller to death. Normally that's not a huge deal, but there are two notable problems here. First, that's a great way to make it to the playoffs only to tank (See: Devils, New Jersey). Second, Ryan Miller is playing himself into being the #1 goalie for Team USA and the Olympics in February. So, unlike 2006, where he could play with a chip on his shoulder after getting snubbed (and being rested, since he got a couple weeks off), Miller will likely be gassed later in the season if Ruff doesn't rest him enough. And the Sabres will tank.

Also, I admit, Marty Biron is an excellent back-up goalie. To reiterate, Marty is an excellent back-up goalie. He's an above average starting goalie. He wants to play, and be paid, like a starting goalie. So, here's the problem: we've already got one of the best five goalies in the NHL right now starting for us. If not the best five, then the best three. Yes, Miller is that good. Meaning Marty isn't really a good fit for Buffalo because he wants to start. Got it? Good.

Last July, after Martin Biron became a free agent, he drove his wife, Anne Marie, and three children from Philadelphia to Buffalo. Biron got off Interstate 90 at the Pembroke exit so he could take a nice, leisurely drive through the country roads.

Um, ok.

"We drove down Main Street and got to our house in Clarence," Biron said Wednesday before the Islanders lost to the Sabres, 3-0, at HSBC Arena. Biron made 36 saves. "We told each other it felt like we were coming home."

Oh, god. Here we go. "He still lives in Buffalo!" "He loves Buffalo!"

Biron has never really left Buffalo, not in his heart.

But he did in terms of his loyalty and his wallet. Right? Doesn't everybody forget that? And that he openly recruited Danny Briere in Philly? I'm surprised the Erie County Legislature didn't pass an ordinance, written by the Buffalo News, prohibiting such an act.

Maybe that's why the former Sabres goalie got that standing ovation here last month.

Because he left? Or because his heart is still here? What? And don't get me started on that standing o. If Biron deserves a standing ovation, Max deserved one twice as long, and NOT any boos. Check the stats, folks. Marty backstopped the Sabres to zero playoff appearances. None. He made his playoff debut for the Philadelphia Flyers. Max¹ not only led the Sabres in points, but actually generated goals in the playoffs (remember when he clinched the series against the Rangers?). So, in sum: nice guy who was a strong insurance policy but didn't actually accomplish much on the ice, standing ovation; nice guy who scored a bunch of goals and produced something (not a whole lot, true, but still something) in the playoffs, boos.

But, instead of pointing out that disparity, you know what I'd rather have? Pointless drivel about where the Biron family lives.

Fans know he's one of them, a Buffalo guy, an NHL player who came of age here and grew to love the place. So when Biron signed with the Islanders, he left his wife and kids in Clarence.

Sa-weeeeeeet!!

Anne Marie, a Buffalo native, is pregnant with their fourth child. The "summer" house will likely be their permanent home. Biron is fairly certain he will settle here, like so many people in the extended family of professional hockey.

Like Scotty Bowman! Another guy who "loves" Buffalo, but yet does absolutely nothing relating to the Sabres, let alone assisting their Stanley Cup efforts! Brooks Orpik! Patrick Kane! Tim Kennedy! Yay!!

"We've got a network of friends around here," Biron said, "so it's definitely a very good possibility.

Wait, I thought he was settling here. Now he's waffling. What the hell?

I have liked it here from the day I got drafted. I always said I wanted to be part of this for a long time. I remember walking through this building when it was being built. I played a game in the Aud."

[Bracing myself for waxing nostalgic about the Aud. Well played, Mr. Biron. Well played indeed.]

Biron spent 12 years with the Sabres, who traded him to the Flyers late in the 2006-07 season. He talked with the Sabres about returning as a free agent last summer. But he signed a one-year deal with the Isles, hoping to parlay regular playing time into a better free-agent deal next year.

Because.

He.

Wants.

To.

Start.

But Biron, who calls himself a "French-Buffalonian," would love to return here sooner or later.

I'm beginning to see why the Buffalo News loves Marty so much. He gives them exactly what they want in order to write the columns they love.

My vote goes for "sooner."

Really? Based on what you've said up to this point, and what you've glossed over, I thought this was going to be about how we're all set in the back-up goalie department and our French-Buffalonian friend should look elsewhere.

A month from now, Biron could be part of a three-man goalie rotation on Long Island. Biron has been splitting the duties with Dwayne Roloson, who is in the first year of a two-year, $5 million contract.

Whoa. No mention that Dwayne Roloson is also a former Sabre? Well, that just proves this was written by Jerry Sullivan and not ghost-written by Bucky or John Vogl.

...Isles General Manager Garth Snow knew that when he signed Biron in late July, giving him three capable NHL goalies. The Isles will need to trade a goalie, and Biron is the obvious candidate.

Because he's a one year rental, DiPietro's got that millstone contract and Roloson's overpriced.

It's equally clear that the Sabres need a more reliable backup goaltender. Ryan Miller started for the 11th time in 12 games Wednesday night. Coach Lindy Ruff claims to have confidence in Patrick Lalime, but his actions suggest otherwise.

Please see above where I articulate how I agree with this, and how Lindy pisses me off by not relying on his back-up more. It's one of two knocks I have on Ruff, and really the only knock I have against Darcy at this point: if you as the GM know your coach will only rely on a rock solid back-up goalie, go out and sign him one. If it's Biron, so be it. But there are others, too (Ty Conklin², just as one example).

The Sabres needed Lalime last year when Miller went down with an ankle injury. He played well at first, but went 1-4-1 with a 4.35 GAA in his last six starts. It's a harsh judgment in retrospect, but Lalime might have cost the Sabres a playoff spot.

Whoa whoa whoa! I thought the Sabres cost themselves their playoff spot because they didn't have enough grit and intangible-ness to supply the heart and leadership in the dressing-room (which is apparently a hyphenated word now). Yes? Now it's the injury and reliance on Lalime? You're making excuses, Jerry. Be careful. Keep it up and Bucky's going to pour salt in your coffee.

Lalime missed Wednesday's game with a groin injury, which could further complicate the issue. Lalime had surgery on his hip to repair a sports hernia last spring. Ruff said the groin injury was unrelated. But as we learned with Dominik Hasek, groin injuries can be a lingering issue with goalies.

I smell an "injury" that allows the Sabres to clear cap space to bring up the rookie to see if there's a goalie already in the organization Lindy's willing to trust. Kind of like Briere's "injury" last year, clearing cap space for the Flyers.

In the meantime, Jhonas Enroth is Miller's backup.

Enroth has been slow to develop in the AHL. Ruff said there's a good chance Enroth will play one of the back-to-back games this weekend if Lalime isn't ready. "We're going to stick with the program," Ruff said.

The program? Only not playing Miller if Miller happens to be missing a limb.

Presumably, the "program" calls for Ruff to sit Miller when the Sabres play three times in four nights, or in other busy stretches. It'll happen soon enough, when the NHL schedule becomes compacted in the weeks leading to the Olympic break.

Given Lindy's track record, I doubt it.

Miller has a good chance to be the No. 1 goalie for the U.S., even more reason for Ruff not to overuse him. But you know Lindy. Hasek spoiled him. Ruff can't resist using his goalie when he's on a roll. Last Saturday, he deviated from the program, playing Miller a third time in four nights. He wound up pulling him.

Already been discussed. By me. Above. All of it.

The stakes are higher this year. Ruff might be coaching for his job.

Buckyperbole. Jerryperbole? Nah, buckyperbole.

The Sabres are off to a good start, but the coach hates to give away points in the standings.

As opposed to Joel Quinneville, Mike Babcock, and Bruce Boudreau, who love giving away points. They put them in gift baskets to fellow coaches around the holidays, the spirit of the season.

He says he believes in Lalime, but if the playoff race tightens, he might be even more reluctant to use the backup. That's why going after Biron makes sense.

Or Ty Conklin. Who's cheaper, just as good, and willing to accept a back-up role.

The Sabres were serious about it in the summer. That tells you they were uneasy about Lalime. Biron is a top-level backup. You know what you're getting.

A guy who will bolt town once again because he desperately wants a chance to start? Oh, you're talking about a quality back-up.

Biron still believes he can be a starter in the NHL.

Hang on. You just say "you know what you're getting" referring to a top-level backup, and then say this same guy believes he can start? Does the paragraph break confuse you guys? Are you unaware of when you contradict yourselves?

But his options are limited. If he has to be a backup for a year, he'd just as soon it be in Buffalo.

Then why didn't he sign here for less if he loves it here so much?

He's making only $1.4 million. It's not about money, though it'll be worth it if Biron helps the Sabres advance in the playoffs.

Not about the money for whom? The Sabres? Who are approaching the salary cap? Or Biron? If it's not about the money for Biron, then why didn't he sign for less if he loves it here so much?

Also, please note that if Biron were to help the Sabres advance in the playoffs it would be the first time he's done anything for them in the playoffs in the history of all time ever, amen. Unless you consider "keeping the end of the bench warm" or "rocking the baseball (or, possibly, knit) cap" doing something to "help the Sabres advance in the playoffs."

This is a critical year for the Sabres. Why not fix the team's No. 1 weakness and bring home a beloved Buffalo guy in the bargain?

I look forward to this statement being written again about 34,963,873,269,309,453,458 times when Drury, Briere, and Campbell, are all "available" at the trade deadline.

¹ - OK, I don't love Max as much as it may seem on here. He was a better than decent player, whose skills deteriorated. Buffalo didn't have any reason to keep him. However, he is the perfect (and most recent) example of the ridiculousness of the love showered on some former Sabres, while others get whipped.

² - ANOTHER FORMER SABRE!