I love when Bucky Gleason writes about football. Now, as anyone who frequents this blog (current count, 3!) knows, Bucky is paid to know lots and write things about hockey. Of course, he doesn't really know anything about hockey and just writes stupid love letters to his favorite hockey players. So, really, he just gets paid. Anyways, when he shifts to football and applies his unassailable sense of reason to the Bills, we get all sorts of insight we can't get anywhere else. Like this perfectly reasonable comparison of the Bills' woes to other events.
Exactly four minutes and 35 seconds remain in the third quarter Sunday and finally something has grabbed my attention during the Bills-Patriots game. Unfortunately, it wasn't the Bills or the Patriots.
Oooh. I'm intrigued. We've got a column about how the Bills aren't worth watching because they're so bad. So I'm sure what follows will be a fair juxtaposition that will help illustrate a full decade of frustration for Bills' fans. Kind of like a teenager that keeps getting traffic tickets, or that relative that always seems to need you to bail him out of trouble. Yeah, those are reasonable. Or, maybe, perhaps something completely banal. You know, like "something has grabbed my attention during the Bills-Patriots game" and it turns out to be squirrels fighting in the backyard or something.
It was news that actress Brittany Murphy died of an apparent heart attack at age 32.
Or that.
Murphy was a star in "Clueless" and "8 Mile." She was young, successful, beautiful. When you hear someone with so much talent dying so suddenly, it never makes sense. Then again, you never know what's happening behind the scenes with these Hollywood types. What a shame.
OK, I appreciate the brief obituary. So, I'm sure we'll soon learn how these two events are connected aside from sheer coincidence.
Let me take a moment to bring you back to the game, where Bills quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick has just connected with Lee Evans for an 8-yard gain on second-and-12 from the Buffalo 43. The Bills are trailing, 17-3, but inside Pats' territory. If they put together a scoring drive, stop the Pats and score another TD, this puppy is tied.
It's time to pay attention.
Was Brittany Murphy a big Lee Evans fan? Did she go to Wisconsin or something? Was she watching the Bills game? How in the hell are these two completely independent and entirely unrelated events connected?
Wait, who am I kidding?
Are you trying to kid? It seems more like deliberate confusion.
We're talking Bills and Patriots here, not the Bills and the Browns. OK, bad example,
Awful joke.
but you get the picture. The Bills aren't scoring two touchdowns against the Patriots in a game that matters to Bill Belichick. Anyway, Buffalo was outscored, 112-70, in the fourth quarter going into the game.
They did in Week 1. Remember, when everybody was convinced everybody besides Leodis McKelvin was great and the Bills had playoff aspirations because, at least for one week, they weren't mathematically eliminated yet? You give this conclusory statement, only supporting it by saying the Bills have been outscored in the fourth quarter. But they blew Miami away in the fourth quarter, so who knows? Plus, New England kind of sucks this year.
Did Murphy have children?
Why the hell are we talking about Brittany Murphy again? Where did this come from? Give me some sort of segway so I can understand that you're trying to diminish the significance of the Bills by constantly being distracted by other things.
As a father of four, it really hits home when people die young. Bengals receiver Chris Henry was no saint, but he had three little ones and a fiancee when he died last week. No matter what you think of Henry, that was a real-life tragedy.
Now random thoughts about Chris Henry? What the hell? We're halfway through the column, and Bucky's mentioned as many Buffalo Bills by name (2) as he has famous people who recently died. Not any of which is connected. I mean the Bills game is completely unrelated, and in any circumstance no matter how bad the Bills are (or have been) nor for how long that does not ever compare to a person dying. It's a football game.
This is a football game.
Good. Glad we agree.
Well, sort of.
WHAT??? This is more than a football game? Please please please do not try say this is somehow as sad as two people dying young.
Fitzpatrick just threw a bad pass to rookie Shawn Nelson. Incomplete. Fitzpatrick follows with a brutal toss behind Fred Jackson. Incomplete. Finally, the Bills have someone on the field who is worth the price of admission. Brian Moorman is punting. He's been their most effective player for, what, almost a decade now?
I'm not sure, but I think Bucky's just trying to demonstrate how names of Bills players he knows.
Zzzzzzzz.
This is not a word. Stop using it as one.
Wake me up when it's over. I feel bad for anyone who paid for this game and Bills fans who are 20 years old and younger. They don't know that feeling that sweeps across town when the Bills are in contention. After all, Buffalo hasn't won a playoff game since 1995.
OK, fair enough. But this reeks of the same nonsense about "no playoffs in the last two years, or five of the last seven." Plenty of teams haven't won a playoff game in that long. The Cowboys come to mind, and they've blown a lot more money than Ralph Wilson has. So I guess that's the upside?
The Patriots aren't doing anything, either, but they come with subplots. They were vulnerable after losing two straight and playing poorly in a win over Carolina. Receiver Randy Moss tanked against the Panthers and was called a quitter. He showed up today, and that's what really matters. Why?
New England, because one player played bad once, has subplots. The Bills, currently looking for a new coach and trying to complete restructure their football operations meaning just about every player on the roster is expendable and could be gone next year, no subplots.
Moss plays on my fantasy team, the Buck Buchanans.
This is why the Patriots have subplots? Because you happen to have a Patriot on your fantasy team? Stupid. Not as dumb as your team name, but still stupid. I mean, what the hell is a Buchanan? I know it's supposed to be a play on "Bucky" but in that case why not make it the Buck Cannons. Or Buckannons. Still kind of stupid, but at least not as stupid.
Terrible drafting and worse decisions killed my playoff chances. It's funny how fantasy sometimes runs parallel with reality.
Now we're getting insight into why your fantasy team sucks? Nobody cares. As someone who plays fantasy football, I can say with great confidence that nobody cares about your fantasy team. Not your wife, not your kids, not your readers, and really not too many people that happen to play against you.
Also, this is supposed to illustrate how the Bills have drafted terribly and made worse decisions to kill their playoff chances. But the only reason they'd be parallel is if you did the drafting and terrible decision making.
But it doesn't stifle my anticipation in the fourth quarter when Tom Brady goes deep ... down the sideline ... for Moss ... incomplete.
Nobody cares. You had the opportunity for a fantasy joke, which only works ever in a "Hey, at least I'm getting fantasy points out of this garbage" kind of way. And you even managed to stumble over that.
Murphy was born in Atlanta. One of her first roles was on "Murphy Brown." What a coincidence. She was a spokesmodel for Jordache Jeans and was named to FHM's 10 Sexiest List and Maxim's Hot 100. Did she have a history of cardiac problems or is there something more?
Back on Brittany Murphy? What the hell?
Trent Edwards is under center. The Bills had high hopes for him, but he appears headed for the same fate as J.P. Losman. Edwards is sacked on the first play. Shocker. Edwards complete to Nelson for minus-1. Another shocker. Edwards throws behind Josh Reed. Incomplete. Edwards sacked and shaken up. Need I say more?
Fitzpatrick is back. He connects with Reed on a great catch and run. I was just telling Mark Gaughan before the game how Reed deserves credit for navigating the potholes and finding a way to stay in the NFL after dropped passes plagued him early in his career. Reed is open inside the 5 on fourth-and-9 with 3:48 remaining. He drops the pass.
Right back to the Bills. I honestly have no idea what's going on in this column.
Where did everybody go? An optimist would say The Ralph was half-full, but to me it looks half-empty. Start your e-mails.
I can't tell if he's trying to insult Bills fans for leaving, or insult them for going in the first place. Or if he's trying to insult the Bills for being so lousy everybody would rather read about dead celebrities.
The Patriots go three-and-out before Fitzpatrick finds Reed with a 17-yard pass play. Lee Evans kept his feet in bounds, beating Brandon Meriweather (strange spelling) for a TD, bringing the Bills within 17-10. This is just another tease . . unless ... unless they recover the onside kick and score in the final three minutes.
OK, this is officially all over the place. Smorgasbord tag.
Buffalo pounces on the kick, but wait. Rookie Aaron Maybin was flagged for being offside on the kickoff. They kick it away. Wes Welker has two hands on the ball, unlike Leodis McKelvin in the last meeting, when he's tackled. Third-and-6 for the Pats just before the two-minute warning. Still time for the Bills. Brady to Welker for 8. Ballgame.
If recent history is any suggestion, if Buffalo could've stopped the Pats on 3rd down they would have then gone for it on 4th down and failed to convert. Making for a pretty exciting finish.
It's time to run downstairs for postgame enlightenment from The Hoody.
"This week is this week," Belichick said. "Next week is next week."
Gripping.
Why would anybody watch Bill Belichick speak about anything ever? This is the guy who has football in a perspective as reasonable to Bucky's. Apparently, the Bills' failings are as bad as people dying. Belichick preps for football season by reading up on war books.
I never saw "Clueless"
Bucky admits to never looking in the mirror. ZING!
or "8 Mile." Sounds like a plan for the next two Sundays.
So long as we don't get movie reviews, knock yourself out.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
fire bucky gleason, missing links edition
Most of these don't merit our typical line-by-line critiques. So, a few links with a few thoughts:
If you go here, it's probably best if you have this playing in the background. Otherwise the column won't make much sense.
If you read this, you should go here first. That way you can understand the tone Bucky's trying to take.
And, finally, if you want to understand the real reason why the Sabres are currently a remarkable 20-9-2, including strong regulation wins over teams like the New Jersey Devils, Washington Capitals (a shut-out), and the Chicago Blackhawks, it's simple. Whenever we play those teams, their best players suck. It has nothing to do with how the Sabres play.
If you go here, it's probably best if you have this playing in the background. Otherwise the column won't make much sense.
If you read this, you should go here first. That way you can understand the tone Bucky's trying to take.
And, finally, if you want to understand the real reason why the Sabres are currently a remarkable 20-9-2, including strong regulation wins over teams like the New Jersey Devils, Washington Capitals (a shut-out), and the Chicago Blackhawks, it's simple. Whenever we play those teams, their best players suck. It has nothing to do with how the Sabres play.
fire bucky gleason, total amnesia edition
We've documented here at FBG what can best be termed as a remarkable, and total, lack of any kind of memory about anything Bucky's ever written. In his mind, I doubt he ever contradicts himself. For my world to make sense, I believe that Bucky suffers from the same condition Drew Berrymore had in 50 First Dates. He was in some sort of severe car accident in mid-July of 2007, and can't remember anything from that point on except for today. It would explain why we keep getting the same crap over and over.
Well, except for this, which is probably the closest thing to mea culpa we'll ever get. So I suppose we should appreciate it. michael.w guest posts again. My comments are limited, because I still can't comprehend a complete change of tune like this.
Craig Rivet spent 12-plus seasons in Montreal, more than enough to learn the terrain in the Land of Les Habitants. They appreciated him there for the same reasons he was quickly embraced as captain of the Sabres. Rivet was a good player who provided an honest effort and earned his keep.
"Land of Les Habitants?" Stop it. Please. [Ed's Note: plaschke-nanigans. If you're going to guest post, at least use the lingo.] But it is nice to read that Rivet was appreciated in Montreal for cliched reasons like "effort" and "earning his keep", just like Sabres fans. What they didn't like his "leadership" and what he "brought to the dressing room?"
It's enough to keep critics at a distance, but Rivet found himself in a heap of trouble one year when he ripped Canadiens fans for booing Patrice Brisebois without just cause.
But since they loved him and all his effort and keep earning, the fans were certainly forgiving. That is the impression I get from the paragraph above.
The sentence handed down in the Court of Public Opinion: Rivet was booed every time he touched the puck for the final 10 home games.
Oh.
Six seasons and two teams later, Rivet still hasn't been forgiven in the birthplace of hockey.
"To this day," Rivet said, "I still get booed when I go to Montreal."
So much for his effort.
It's a different animal, Montreal, where rich tradition and passionate fan base are accompanied by intense anger and little patience during seasons like this one. The Habs have won 23 Stanley Cups, none since 1992-93. It marks the longest drought in their storied history. Rivet's biggest crime is being part of their failed past.
Actually they've won 24. It took me ten seconds to verify that. It must be nice to have no professional standards. But at least this minor oversight will be the only problem with this article.
[Ed's Note: Not for nothing, but it appears that Bucky is slamming Habs' fans for a lack of patience. If that's the case, what's his excuse for his attitude towards the Sabres right now? Especially since the "biggest crimes" for most of his whipping posts are really nothing more than "playing for the Sabres."]
With that in mind, you can only imagine how the Canadiens are going over these days. The Habs didn't just lose, 6-2, to the Sabres on Thursday night in HSBC Arena. They were utterly lost for half the game en route to their fourth straight defeat. They showed up for the third period, but it was about two hours too late.
This is not just directed at Bucky, but at EVERY sports analyst. Can we stop with the "show up" and "didn't show up" cliche? Please. The Canadiens showed up. There were several men in Montreal uniforms taking turns on the ice for the first two periods. They just played like crap.
Is this really what their fans wanted? Remember, they pleaded for major changes, and that's what they received. Now, they're stuck with a confused team that has less chemistry than Tiger and Elin.
Yes. This is what the fans wanted. A team that plays like crap. All fans want that. You know what? Miami plays New England Sunday. As a Miami fan, I want them to lose 55 - 0. And I refuse to address the Tiger and Elin reference. It would take too long.
"There's such ultimate pressure to be a great hockey team," Rivet said. "It's not normal like with other teams. It's the Yankees, but the Yankees have the ability to spend as much money as they want to get the best players. In our [salary cap] system, Montreal would be doing it but they can't. So you have to be smart in how you manage the team."
Good point by Rivet about how one must be smart in managing the team. Also, I like Rivet a lot, so I will not get into his misguided comparison to the Yankees. Also, Rivet could, in all likelihood, whip my ass.
General Manager Bob Gainey didn't manage his team. He mismanaged his roster after caving to public pressure. He made the same mistake fans have made for years. He misread the situation and overreacted.
He replaced 13 players when a half-dozen good moves would have been fine.
Hmmm. I remember reading somewhere that the Montreal offseason was a good one. Going so far as to compliment them for be willing to overhaul the roster when something went wrong.
The Habs aren't any bigger or any better. They're just different. Scott Gomez, who scored his third goal Thursday, has 12 points to show for his $8 million salary. Veteran free-agent defenseman Paul Mara is minus-12.
Wow, three goals for Scott Gomez. Puts him exactly one ahead of former Ranger teamate, and the currently equally massively overpaid Chris Drury.
If you're a Sabres' fan, you should appreciate management's decision to take the opposite approach after Buffalo missed the postseason for the second straight season. Fans here were calling for many of the same changes they wanted in Montreal. Fire the coach, dump the GM, unload underachieving superstars, change for the sake of change.
I want to point out, that in a summer diatribe, the Sabres fans were not to appreciate the Sabres management did over the summer. It's in the link above.
Yes, this time doing little or nothing was the right approach. Need evidence? Buffalo had a 3-0 lead in the first nine minutes on goals from Clarke MacArthur, Jason Pominville and Derek Roy — three forwards who have been groomed in Buffalo's system. Each was the result of them properly reading the play and one another.
Nice way to avoid mentioning that Thomas Vanek had three assists in the game, who interestingly enough was also groomed in Buffalo's system. But more shocking is that no mention was made that Tim Kennedy scored a goal. Good restraint.
The Canadiens, meanwhile, weren't sure what they were doing or where they were going. By the looks of things, they're not going anywhere. They're home tonight to officially celebrate their 100-year anniversary with a game against Boston. Their fans will be there waiting for them.
So to conclude, I will call this Bucky's best column ever, despite the shameless 180 and factual issues. He was able to write a full column, and get through it without mentioning any of the following:
- God....errr....Chris Drury
- Tim Kennedy (I have to assume Bucky hears this when he sees Tim Kennedy
- How much Tim Connolly sucks
- [Ed's Note: how much Darcy Regier sucks]
- Why the Sabres should bring Biron back
Impressive work Mr. Gleason.
Well, except for this, which is probably the closest thing to mea culpa we'll ever get. So I suppose we should appreciate it. michael.w guest posts again. My comments are limited, because I still can't comprehend a complete change of tune like this.
Craig Rivet spent 12-plus seasons in Montreal, more than enough to learn the terrain in the Land of Les Habitants. They appreciated him there for the same reasons he was quickly embraced as captain of the Sabres. Rivet was a good player who provided an honest effort and earned his keep.
"Land of Les Habitants?" Stop it. Please. [Ed's Note: plaschke-nanigans. If you're going to guest post, at least use the lingo.] But it is nice to read that Rivet was appreciated in Montreal for cliched reasons like "effort" and "earning his keep", just like Sabres fans. What they didn't like his "leadership" and what he "brought to the dressing room?"
It's enough to keep critics at a distance, but Rivet found himself in a heap of trouble one year when he ripped Canadiens fans for booing Patrice Brisebois without just cause.
But since they loved him and all his effort and keep earning, the fans were certainly forgiving. That is the impression I get from the paragraph above.
The sentence handed down in the Court of Public Opinion: Rivet was booed every time he touched the puck for the final 10 home games.
Oh.
Six seasons and two teams later, Rivet still hasn't been forgiven in the birthplace of hockey.
"To this day," Rivet said, "I still get booed when I go to Montreal."
So much for his effort.
It's a different animal, Montreal, where rich tradition and passionate fan base are accompanied by intense anger and little patience during seasons like this one. The Habs have won 23 Stanley Cups, none since 1992-93. It marks the longest drought in their storied history. Rivet's biggest crime is being part of their failed past.
Actually they've won 24. It took me ten seconds to verify that. It must be nice to have no professional standards. But at least this minor oversight will be the only problem with this article.
[Ed's Note: Not for nothing, but it appears that Bucky is slamming Habs' fans for a lack of patience. If that's the case, what's his excuse for his attitude towards the Sabres right now? Especially since the "biggest crimes" for most of his whipping posts are really nothing more than "playing for the Sabres."]
With that in mind, you can only imagine how the Canadiens are going over these days. The Habs didn't just lose, 6-2, to the Sabres on Thursday night in HSBC Arena. They were utterly lost for half the game en route to their fourth straight defeat. They showed up for the third period, but it was about two hours too late.
This is not just directed at Bucky, but at EVERY sports analyst. Can we stop with the "show up" and "didn't show up" cliche? Please. The Canadiens showed up. There were several men in Montreal uniforms taking turns on the ice for the first two periods. They just played like crap.
Is this really what their fans wanted? Remember, they pleaded for major changes, and that's what they received. Now, they're stuck with a confused team that has less chemistry than Tiger and Elin.
Yes. This is what the fans wanted. A team that plays like crap. All fans want that. You know what? Miami plays New England Sunday. As a Miami fan, I want them to lose 55 - 0. And I refuse to address the Tiger and Elin reference. It would take too long.
"There's such ultimate pressure to be a great hockey team," Rivet said. "It's not normal like with other teams. It's the Yankees, but the Yankees have the ability to spend as much money as they want to get the best players. In our [salary cap] system, Montreal would be doing it but they can't. So you have to be smart in how you manage the team."
Good point by Rivet about how one must be smart in managing the team. Also, I like Rivet a lot, so I will not get into his misguided comparison to the Yankees. Also, Rivet could, in all likelihood, whip my ass.
General Manager Bob Gainey didn't manage his team. He mismanaged his roster after caving to public pressure. He made the same mistake fans have made for years. He misread the situation and overreacted.
He replaced 13 players when a half-dozen good moves would have been fine.
Hmmm. I remember reading somewhere that the Montreal offseason was a good one. Going so far as to compliment them for be willing to overhaul the roster when something went wrong.
The Habs aren't any bigger or any better. They're just different. Scott Gomez, who scored his third goal Thursday, has 12 points to show for his $8 million salary. Veteran free-agent defenseman Paul Mara is minus-12.
Wow, three goals for Scott Gomez. Puts him exactly one ahead of former Ranger teamate, and the currently equally massively overpaid Chris Drury.
If you're a Sabres' fan, you should appreciate management's decision to take the opposite approach after Buffalo missed the postseason for the second straight season. Fans here were calling for many of the same changes they wanted in Montreal. Fire the coach, dump the GM, unload underachieving superstars, change for the sake of change.
I want to point out, that in a summer diatribe, the Sabres fans were not to appreciate the Sabres management did over the summer. It's in the link above.
Yes, this time doing little or nothing was the right approach. Need evidence? Buffalo had a 3-0 lead in the first nine minutes on goals from Clarke MacArthur, Jason Pominville and Derek Roy — three forwards who have been groomed in Buffalo's system. Each was the result of them properly reading the play and one another.
Nice way to avoid mentioning that Thomas Vanek had three assists in the game, who interestingly enough was also groomed in Buffalo's system. But more shocking is that no mention was made that Tim Kennedy scored a goal. Good restraint.
The Canadiens, meanwhile, weren't sure what they were doing or where they were going. By the looks of things, they're not going anywhere. They're home tonight to officially celebrate their 100-year anniversary with a game against Boston. Their fans will be there waiting for them.
So to conclude, I will call this Bucky's best column ever, despite the shameless 180 and factual issues. He was able to write a full column, and get through it without mentioning any of the following:
- God....errr....Chris Drury
- Tim Kennedy (I have to assume Bucky hears this when he sees Tim Kennedy
- How much Tim Connolly sucks
- [Ed's Note: how much Darcy Regier sucks]
- Why the Sabres should bring Biron back
Impressive work Mr. Gleason.
fire bucky gleason, bob dicesare smokes crack edition
I've fallen a little behind. Got this one a few weeks ago, but finally got to post it now. Apparently, now that UB is done for the year, Bob DiCesare is taking advantage of all his new free time to freebase cocaine and write whatever crazy things pop into his head.
michael.w got it first, my comments in italics.
DiCesare: Fitzpatrick shows qualities that are Peytonesque
OK, normally a headline is not fodder for me. I know that writers do not author the headlines, that is the job of someone else at the paper. [Ed's Note: the editor.] I do have some inside knowledge of the newspaper industry. However, reading this headline immediately reminded me of a joke Joel McHale told on "The Soup" in reference to some reality star signing a book deal. He said "In a related story, Random House Publishing paid a $4 million advance to a monkey who throws sh*t at a computer keyboard" Read further and you'll understand.
If only for a day there's reasonable cause to compare Ryan Fitzpatrick, a starting quarterback by default, with Peyton Manning, a star quarterback by birthright.
Being born Manning entitles you to be a starting quarterback. Like his sisters and his older brother Cooper. Yes he comes from NFL pedigree, but I think Peyton is a star quarterback because he has, you know, produced unhuman results over a long period of time in the NATIONAL!!!FOOTBALL!!!LEAGUE!!!
[Ed's Note: Somebody needs to direct Bob DiCesare to a dictionary in order for him to review the definition of "reasonable." A number of adjectives come to mind when thinking about comparing Ryan Fitzpatrick to Peyton Manning. Asinine. Crazy. Buckyperbole. Narcotic-induced. "Reasonable" and "accurate" aren't even at the bottom of that list, they're not on the list at all.]
If only on this certain any-given-Sunday
There it is in the first paragraph. The must have football cliche.
it was possible to assess Fitzpatrick's decisions and executions and conclude that Manning might have taken the same route given those same situations.
So I presume we are going to read about incredible decision making that Peyton Manning and only Peyton Manning (and now Ryan Fitzpatrick) could make.
Fitzpatrick's 31-yard bootleg around the right edge for a touchdown? Manning ran that play around the left side at The Ralph in November of 2001, scoring untouched from 33 yards out.
Uh-oh. By your logic, Fitzpatrick would have had to have gone around the left side. You said above that Manning would take the "same route" But Manning went left, Fitzpatrick went right.
The audible at the line that led to a 51-yard touchdown pass to Terrell Owens? That was taking what the defense offers, something Manning does to near perfection, especially with the game hanging in the balance.
OK, so two examples. And maybe it's just me, but I have yet to read about anything that is strictly something Peyton Manning would have done. I mean running out of the pocket when flushed, and audibling to a fly pattern do not seem like elite quarterback moves. I have to imagine evenblind squirrels pedestrian quarterbacks (for example, Ryan Fitzpatrick) could come up with these strokes of genius from time to time.
Fitzpatrick resided in a realm with which we've been unfamiliar during Sunday's where-did- that-come-from? 31-14 rout of the Miami Dolphins at The Ralph. He threw for 246 yards, averaging better than 14 yards per completion. He rushed seven times for 50 yards, including the aforementioned touchdown jaunt.
246 passing yards. As a point of comparison, Peyton Manning is averaging almost 311 passing yards per game. In fact, a 246 yard would rank as Manning's third worst yardage performance this season. But, please, go on.
And although the Dolphins registered six sacks,
Manning has been sacked a total of 10 times THIS SEASON
Fitzpatrick kept them reasonably honest (or made them pay handsomely) on designed or improvised rollouts that bought him time and space.
Whereas Manning drops back and quickly releases the ball to the open receiver. Please, give me more.
"We were going to move the pocket a little bit, something we tried to do all year, especially with some new guys up front," Fitzpatrick said. "That's one of the things you can do just to sort of get some more easy dink-and-dunk passes in the game."
Just like Peyton Manning, who has dinked and dunked his way to a NATIONAL!!!FOOTBALL!!LEAGUE!! best 3,415 yards this season.
None of this is to say that the Harvard grad automatically qualifies as the Buffalo Bills quarterback of the future. But doubtless he's the quarterback of the present, the deserving starter, a cerebral sort who brings more to the line of scrimmage than Trent Edwards, the beleaguered player he's displaced.
And none of this is to say that Fitzpatrick is anywhere in the same stratosphere as the Tennessee grad, who qualifies as the quarterback of the decade.
"It's the experience," Owens said. "He's not a stranger to being back there at the quarterback position and he's recognizing defenses. He's putting us in situations for us to win whether it's run or pass, and the guys up front are giving him a little bit of time to kind of assess that and he's delivering the ball."
Abridged translation: T.O. likes Fitzpatrick better than the other guy, who's actually more experienced. Or at least he likes him more for now.
Unabridged question: What does this have to do with the Peyton Manning comparison?
[Ed's Note: Actual translation, "I like this quarterback better because he constantly throws me the ball, no matter how little I try to catch it."]
But Owens has a point. The Bills owed both their long touchdown plays to Fitzpatrick's field awareness and instinctual responses.
And poor defense and poor man to man coverage.
The second-quarter bootleg that launched him down the sideline unimpeded to tie the score 7-7 was impromptu decision-making.
Launched? Seriously, did you see how fast he was going? I wouldn't say launched. [Ed's Note: "Jogging" might be a stretch. What made me angry about that play as a Dolphins fan is that Fitzpatrick's wheels were so slow I probably could've run down from my seat in the 23rd row and caught before he hit the goal line. Which makes the actual defense's hustle on the play that much more pathetic.]
"It was a pass play," Fitzpatrick said. "Just with the coverage the way I got flushed, we really had the perfect route on because it moved everybody to the other side of the field and then there was an opening for me to take off."
The whole 31 yards?
This sounds a lot more like dumb luck than some brilliant Peyton Manning-eque decision making. Seriously, he just acknowledged the huge opening into which he could "launch" himself.
"Oh, man. I didn't think I was going to score," Fitzpatrick said. "I thought one guy was going to catch me. But I was huffing and puffing out there for sure. I haven't run that far in a long time."
Not forward, anyway.
Fitzpatrick has run backwards 31 yards during a game? Beautiful. Another thing Peyton Manning does on practically a weekly basis.
The bootleg was sweet, but the play that gives Fitzpatrick new street cred came with 2:31 left and Buffalo leading by three. The Bills of Dick Jauron would have been dead set on eating clock. The Bills of interim head coach Perry Fewell have different ideas on how to finish off a game. The QB eyed the coverage and audibled, sending both Owens and Lee Evans deep.
Yeah, a white guy named Fitzpatrick from Harvard throws a ball deep. That is definitely "street." I bet Fitzpatrick is rocking the gold teeth, drinking a forty and will be providing rhymes on Lil'Wayne's next album. After all, he threw a long touchdown pass.
[Ed's Note: This reminds me of a column in Sports Illustrated a few years back, offering commentary on the beanpot. When talking about Boston College's hockey team, the columnist noted "the names on the jerseys range from the Irish, to the Catholic, to the Irish-Catholic." A white guy named Fitzpatrick going to college in Massachusetts fits that bill to a T.]
"We preached all week long we want to be aggressive and take the shots when we can get them," Fitzpatrick said. "And that was just one of those plays where we had a chance to get the ball outside in one of our playmaker's hands and he was obviously very excited about it."
Fitzpatrick certainly earned street cred with all the slang he threw around in that quote. Are you sure that wasn't Snoop Dogg saying that?
"I think you have to tip your hat off to Ryan in that situation because he dissected and assessed the defense," Owens said. "They were kind of moving around a little bit and we felt like we had some opportunities that slipped early in the game and he missed a few. We wanted to be aggressive and it's his call and it's up to us to make the play."
You have to throw them to hit them, must take chances to reap rewards. Fitzpatrick's decisions that resulted in big touchdowns weren't gambles but calculated risks. He reacted to the situation, played swashbuckling football. If only for this one day he resided in Peyton's place.
So, in conclusion, Ryan Fitzpatrick is like Peyton Manning because he had a long touchdown run. And Peyton Manning did that once. Moreover, because Ryan Fitzpatrick threw a long touchdown pass to T.O. Great.
You know what else Ryan Fitzpatrick did? He threw an interception to Yeremiah Bell. Tom Brady did that in 2005, which you can see at the 0:52 second mark here. So Ryan Fitzpatrick is also like Tom Brady.
Steve Young threw a long touchdown pass to T.O., too. So Ryan Fitzpatrick is also like Hall of Famer Steve Young.
[Ed's Note: The comparisons do not stop there. Ryan Fitzpatrick also stood on the Bills sideline while the defense was on the field, which Jim Kelly also did. So Ryan Fitzpatrick is like Jim Kelly. Fitzpatrick threw an interception at Arrowhead Stadium, which Joe Montana also did. So Fitzpatrick is also Joe Montana.]
So there you have it folks. Ryan Fitzpatrick is Peyton Manning, Tom Brady and Steve Young [Ed's Note: and Jim Kelly and Joe Montana] all rolled into one sure fire Hall of Fame, street cred-having quarterback. [Ed's Note: Based on these highly credible and accurate comparisons, Buffalo should lock up Fitzpatrick long term with lots of guaranteed money. The sad thing here, though, is they actually might.]
michael.w got it first, my comments in italics.
DiCesare: Fitzpatrick shows qualities that are Peytonesque
OK, normally a headline is not fodder for me. I know that writers do not author the headlines, that is the job of someone else at the paper. [Ed's Note: the editor.] I do have some inside knowledge of the newspaper industry. However, reading this headline immediately reminded me of a joke Joel McHale told on "The Soup" in reference to some reality star signing a book deal. He said "In a related story, Random House Publishing paid a $4 million advance to a monkey who throws sh*t at a computer keyboard" Read further and you'll understand.
If only for a day there's reasonable cause to compare Ryan Fitzpatrick, a starting quarterback by default, with Peyton Manning, a star quarterback by birthright.
Being born Manning entitles you to be a starting quarterback. Like his sisters and his older brother Cooper. Yes he comes from NFL pedigree, but I think Peyton is a star quarterback because he has, you know, produced unhuman results over a long period of time in the NATIONAL!!!FOOTBALL!!!LEAGUE!!!
[Ed's Note: Somebody needs to direct Bob DiCesare to a dictionary in order for him to review the definition of "reasonable." A number of adjectives come to mind when thinking about comparing Ryan Fitzpatrick to Peyton Manning. Asinine. Crazy. Buckyperbole. Narcotic-induced. "Reasonable" and "accurate" aren't even at the bottom of that list, they're not on the list at all.]
If only on this certain any-given-Sunday
There it is in the first paragraph. The must have football cliche.
it was possible to assess Fitzpatrick's decisions and executions and conclude that Manning might have taken the same route given those same situations.
So I presume we are going to read about incredible decision making that Peyton Manning and only Peyton Manning (and now Ryan Fitzpatrick) could make.
Fitzpatrick's 31-yard bootleg around the right edge for a touchdown? Manning ran that play around the left side at The Ralph in November of 2001, scoring untouched from 33 yards out.
Uh-oh. By your logic, Fitzpatrick would have had to have gone around the left side. You said above that Manning would take the "same route" But Manning went left, Fitzpatrick went right.
The audible at the line that led to a 51-yard touchdown pass to Terrell Owens? That was taking what the defense offers, something Manning does to near perfection, especially with the game hanging in the balance.
OK, so two examples. And maybe it's just me, but I have yet to read about anything that is strictly something Peyton Manning would have done. I mean running out of the pocket when flushed, and audibling to a fly pattern do not seem like elite quarterback moves. I have to imagine even
Fitzpatrick resided in a realm with which we've been unfamiliar during Sunday's where-did- that-come-from? 31-14 rout of the Miami Dolphins at The Ralph. He threw for 246 yards, averaging better than 14 yards per completion. He rushed seven times for 50 yards, including the aforementioned touchdown jaunt.
246 passing yards. As a point of comparison, Peyton Manning is averaging almost 311 passing yards per game. In fact, a 246 yard would rank as Manning's third worst yardage performance this season. But, please, go on.
And although the Dolphins registered six sacks,
Manning has been sacked a total of 10 times THIS SEASON
Fitzpatrick kept them reasonably honest (or made them pay handsomely) on designed or improvised rollouts that bought him time and space.
Whereas Manning drops back and quickly releases the ball to the open receiver. Please, give me more.
"We were going to move the pocket a little bit, something we tried to do all year, especially with some new guys up front," Fitzpatrick said. "That's one of the things you can do just to sort of get some more easy dink-and-dunk passes in the game."
Just like Peyton Manning, who has dinked and dunked his way to a NATIONAL!!!FOOTBALL!!LEAGUE!! best 3,415 yards this season.
None of this is to say that the Harvard grad automatically qualifies as the Buffalo Bills quarterback of the future. But doubtless he's the quarterback of the present, the deserving starter, a cerebral sort who brings more to the line of scrimmage than Trent Edwards, the beleaguered player he's displaced.
And none of this is to say that Fitzpatrick is anywhere in the same stratosphere as the Tennessee grad, who qualifies as the quarterback of the decade.
"It's the experience," Owens said. "He's not a stranger to being back there at the quarterback position and he's recognizing defenses. He's putting us in situations for us to win whether it's run or pass, and the guys up front are giving him a little bit of time to kind of assess that and he's delivering the ball."
Abridged translation: T.O. likes Fitzpatrick better than the other guy, who's actually more experienced. Or at least he likes him more for now.
Unabridged question: What does this have to do with the Peyton Manning comparison?
[Ed's Note: Actual translation, "I like this quarterback better because he constantly throws me the ball, no matter how little I try to catch it."]
But Owens has a point. The Bills owed both their long touchdown plays to Fitzpatrick's field awareness and instinctual responses.
And poor defense and poor man to man coverage.
The second-quarter bootleg that launched him down the sideline unimpeded to tie the score 7-7 was impromptu decision-making.
Launched? Seriously, did you see how fast he was going? I wouldn't say launched. [Ed's Note: "Jogging" might be a stretch. What made me angry about that play as a Dolphins fan is that Fitzpatrick's wheels were so slow I probably could've run down from my seat in the 23rd row and caught before he hit the goal line. Which makes the actual defense's hustle on the play that much more pathetic.]
"It was a pass play," Fitzpatrick said. "Just with the coverage the way I got flushed, we really had the perfect route on because it moved everybody to the other side of the field and then there was an opening for me to take off."
The whole 31 yards?
This sounds a lot more like dumb luck than some brilliant Peyton Manning-eque decision making. Seriously, he just acknowledged the huge opening into which he could "launch" himself.
"Oh, man. I didn't think I was going to score," Fitzpatrick said. "I thought one guy was going to catch me. But I was huffing and puffing out there for sure. I haven't run that far in a long time."
Not forward, anyway.
Fitzpatrick has run backwards 31 yards during a game? Beautiful. Another thing Peyton Manning does on practically a weekly basis.
The bootleg was sweet, but the play that gives Fitzpatrick new street cred came with 2:31 left and Buffalo leading by three. The Bills of Dick Jauron would have been dead set on eating clock. The Bills of interim head coach Perry Fewell have different ideas on how to finish off a game. The QB eyed the coverage and audibled, sending both Owens and Lee Evans deep.
Yeah, a white guy named Fitzpatrick from Harvard throws a ball deep. That is definitely "street." I bet Fitzpatrick is rocking the gold teeth, drinking a forty and will be providing rhymes on Lil'Wayne's next album. After all, he threw a long touchdown pass.
[Ed's Note: This reminds me of a column in Sports Illustrated a few years back, offering commentary on the beanpot. When talking about Boston College's hockey team, the columnist noted "the names on the jerseys range from the Irish, to the Catholic, to the Irish-Catholic." A white guy named Fitzpatrick going to college in Massachusetts fits that bill to a T.]
"We preached all week long we want to be aggressive and take the shots when we can get them," Fitzpatrick said. "And that was just one of those plays where we had a chance to get the ball outside in one of our playmaker's hands and he was obviously very excited about it."
Fitzpatrick certainly earned street cred with all the slang he threw around in that quote. Are you sure that wasn't Snoop Dogg saying that?
"I think you have to tip your hat off to Ryan in that situation because he dissected and assessed the defense," Owens said. "They were kind of moving around a little bit and we felt like we had some opportunities that slipped early in the game and he missed a few. We wanted to be aggressive and it's his call and it's up to us to make the play."
You have to throw them to hit them, must take chances to reap rewards. Fitzpatrick's decisions that resulted in big touchdowns weren't gambles but calculated risks. He reacted to the situation, played swashbuckling football. If only for this one day he resided in Peyton's place.
So, in conclusion, Ryan Fitzpatrick is like Peyton Manning because he had a long touchdown run. And Peyton Manning did that once. Moreover, because Ryan Fitzpatrick threw a long touchdown pass to T.O. Great.
You know what else Ryan Fitzpatrick did? He threw an interception to Yeremiah Bell. Tom Brady did that in 2005, which you can see at the 0:52 second mark here. So Ryan Fitzpatrick is also like Tom Brady.
Steve Young threw a long touchdown pass to T.O., too. So Ryan Fitzpatrick is also like Hall of Famer Steve Young.
[Ed's Note: The comparisons do not stop there. Ryan Fitzpatrick also stood on the Bills sideline while the defense was on the field, which Jim Kelly also did. So Ryan Fitzpatrick is like Jim Kelly. Fitzpatrick threw an interception at Arrowhead Stadium, which Joe Montana also did. So Fitzpatrick is also Joe Montana.]
So there you have it folks. Ryan Fitzpatrick is Peyton Manning, Tom Brady and Steve Young [Ed's Note: and Jim Kelly and Joe Montana] all rolled into one sure fire Hall of Fame, street cred-having quarterback. [Ed's Note: Based on these highly credible and accurate comparisons, Buffalo should lock up Fitzpatrick long term with lots of guaranteed money. The sad thing here, though, is they actually might.]
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
fire bucky gleason, bucky continues to write stupid things edition
Bucky's constant contradiction is one of the main things that drives me crazy about the fact that he has a job writing about sports. Sportswriters appear to have the free reign of meteorologists: say whatever the hell you want, because just about everybody expects you to be wrong. So, after the colossally dumb love letter to Tim Kennedy, Bucky decides to give us what appears to be a simple lame excuse to slam the Sabres he doesn't like.1
I only extracted the Sabres portion of Bucky's "Inside the NHL," which could qualify as a smorgasbord. But I don't feel like trying to figure out how dumb Bucky is when he talks about other teams. So this is it for now. I'm sure we'll get plenty more stupidity before the week is out.
You've heard the rhetoric numerous times over the past two-plus years, how the talent is there even when the goals are not,
Maybe because the talent is there, they've just been trying to develop their own identity after the team decided to invest in its youth instead of overpaying aging veterans with deteriorating skills. Maybe?
how every player endures scoring droughts, how they squeeze their sticks before eventually coming around.
Actually, I haven't heard this rhetoric numerous times. In fact, Lindy doesn't really hesitate to call his guys out when he feels like he has to. You know where I have heard this rhetoric though? In the Buffalo News. From you. Remember? When you said it was OK for Tim Kennedy to not score goals because he was on a defensive line that was very good at preventing them and preventing goals is just as important as scoring them? Do you remember that?
Zzzzzzzz. Say it often enough and long enough, and it eventually becomes the truth.
Hmm. Apparently not.
But it wasn't a good sign when Blackhawks grunt Dustin Byfuglien had eight goals, one more than Thomas Vanek had, going into the weekend. Or that Islanders rookie John Tavares, Blue Jackets plumber Raffi Torres and, yes, Thrashers winger Maxim Afinogenov each had nine — the same number that Derek Roy and Jason Pominville had combined.
Alright, if we're playing this game, Thomas Vanek has as many goals as Alex Kotalik and Chris Drury combined. Vanek is also currently has more goals than Joe Thornton and Shane Doan. And Alexander Frolov. Also, you are never allowed to complain about Maxim Afinogenov's production at any point from now until the end of all time.
Yikes.
What's with the "yikes"? Did you finish writing that last paragraph and then realize "Hey, it's really stupid comparing scoring paces 25 games into the season?" You did? Awesome! Progress!
The Sabres have $22.7 million locked into their five-highest paid forwards and through the first 22 games this season they combined for a grand total of 24 goals. It's not exactly the bargain they had in mind for Black Friday.
That's not a pretty hard cap hit, considering what other teams are blowing on their five highest paid forwards. I assume that's the bargain you're talking about, right? Because otherwise I don't understand the Black Friday reference. Once again, the Sabres won on Black Friday. Four goals. Against the Flyers.
In a financial sense, their best players have been their worst.
If that's the case, Montreal and the Rangers (but for Marian Gaborik, whose groin is due to explode any day now) have much worse "best" players.
It needs to change for the playoffs — which bounce from a given one week to a fantasy the next — to remain in reach.
Shenanigans. At no point were the Sabres out of playoff position, even during their absolutely "horrendous" 0-3-1 stretch. Not only do the playoffs remain very much in reach, but if the Sabres simply continue their pace from November they should do no worse than the sixth seed. Perhaps a few crude projections will shed some light here. Buffalo was 7-5-1 in November. Respectable, but by no means torrid. They finished the month with 32 points, and sole possession of the Northeast Division lead. Now, if they maintain that 7-5-1 pace, that projects out to approximately 98 points for the season. Solidly within any playoff bracket. If Buffalo manages to up their pace by one more point (7-4-2 instead of 7-5-1), we're looking at approximately 103 points, or a likely fourth seed. Is this an exact science? No. Can things change? Absolutely. But even with Buffalo's "terrible" week in November which caused you to immediately doubt their ability to play hockey at any kind of professional level ever again (because you're stupid), Buffalo maintained a very strong playoff pace. Got it? Good.
Vanek is making $6.4 million this season, which is $1.6 million less than he was pocketing in the front-loaded $50 million deal he signed while pointing the proverbial tommy gun at the Sabres' collective temple.
This is actually good news. Vanek's cap hit is still pretty high, but now that his actual salary is coming down, we have the opportunity to invest in some young talent, or perhaps give another front loaded contract to a free agent this offseason. Don't forget Chicago's going to have to have a huge firesale to clear space for the players they were supposed to sign weeks ago but still haven't re-upped.
Whether he's injured or disinterested, the pop has been missing almost all season.
But, he leads the team in goals. Does that count for anything?
Tim Connolly
I guess not, since we simply moved in to start whipping Bucky's Least Favorite Sabre.
is making $4.5 million this season, a $1 million raise per year after appearing in about one-third of the games under his previous contract.
A fair criticism. Now, I'm sure you'll point out that Connolly has been in the lineup for each and every single Sabres game this season.
The Sabres insisted he was their guy. But, really, he's the same player who has possessed great talent and produced mediocre results.
Or ignore that fact entirely. He is the Sabres' guy. And is turning into a pretty wise investment, as he leads the team is assists and points. And is scoring at a pace just off a point per game. So, really, I'm looking for the mediocre results of which you speak.
Connolly had one goal in 16 games before his best performance of the season, two goals and two assists against Philadelphia.
During that 16 game stretch, Tim Kennedy had no goals. In fact, up through Philadelphia, Tim Kennedy only had one goal in 22 games. Why the double standard?
OK, so he improved to three goals in 17 games.
By comparison, Tim Kennedy2 now has two goals in 24 games. Again, I'm waiting for the explanation of the double standard. Is it based on Connolly's salary? His experience? What? All I know is we're supposed to love Tim Kennedy, who scores at a much slower rate than Tim Connolly, who leads the team in points. I haven't been given a single valid reason for this yet, sir.
He's had his usual flashes of brilliance, confirming he's able but not always willing.
His brilliance is only flashing? What? And his inconsistent goal scoring (which is a far cry from his markedly consistent point production, which means Connolly is helping generate goals, which is kind of important in terms of playing successful hockey I hear) "confirms" he's not willing to play well? Do me a favor. Start reading your columns out loud before submitting them. Maybe then you'll realize how dumb this all sounds. We certainly can't rely on your editor.
Pominville is pocketing Connolly money, getting Clarke MacArthur results.
MacArthur's playing pretty well this season.
Last season was dismissed as a poor year from a good player, but this year has been much the same. In part, his production (five goals) was down because the Sabres lack a power-play quarterback, taking him from the wing. It's also because he's been spending too much time on the perimeter at even strength.
Is this his fault? Or is Lindy not putting Pommers in a position to be successful? Both are equally plausible explanations, yet I have to guess which it is. Thanks.
Jochen Hecht
Oh god...
is making $3.8 million and had four points, putting him on pace for seven goals and 15 points, while averaging more than 16 minutes. Nobody on the team who has played every game has fewer points.
You know who on the team has played the same number of games as Hecht and produced the exact same number of points with half the goals? I'll give you a hint. It rhymes with "Shim Shmennedy." Who, I might add, skates on Hecht's line. Which I was told is not designed to score goals, but rather prevent them. Seeing how the Sabres currently lead the league in goals against, apparently Hecht is playing his role to a T.
Roy, making $3.5 million, needed 11 games to score his first goal, buried four goals in his next five games, fell silent for the next six.
I'm confused. Doesn't this actually prove the exact thesis you present in the opening paragraph? The one you didn't really dispute, but hung out there as a pathetic excuse? Even though you relied on it yourself not two weeks ago?
It's one thing to make big money, another thing to earn it.
This is surprisingly apt. It's one thing to make big money (or whatever money, hopefully it isn't big) writing about sports professionally. It's another thing to earn it by being reliable, accurate, and consistent.
1 - "The Sabres he doesn't like" obviously consists of all the Sabres except for Tyler Myers, Tim Kennedy, and Patrick Kaleta.
2 - I feel like at this point I need another disclaimer. I am actually a Sabres fan. When I follow my sports teams, I prefer to be a bit childlike in that I'll like the guy simply for putting on a Sabres' sweater. I like Kennedy. I know he's young. He's getting some good reviews, but also going through some growing pains. Same goes for Tyler Myers (a team leader in ice time, generating a lot of points from the blue line; embarrassing mistakes like essentially giving Max Afinogenov and Matt Cullen free goals). I'm excited about these guys. But I'm also excited about all the Sabres, including Tim Connolly, who I consider to actually be quite amazing, especially when he gets the puck (one of the "brilliant flashes" was when he froze two Panthers in their skates and then skated through two more during their 6-2 loss--such a hockey play should be criminal). It just happens to be that Bucky is so wildly inconsistent in his analysis, without ever giving any kind of reason, that it drives me crazy. So, unfortunately, Tim Kennedy becomes my whipping boy because we're told to love what he does, which isn't very much when juxtaposed with what the other guys are doing. OK, I feel better.
I only extracted the Sabres portion of Bucky's "Inside the NHL," which could qualify as a smorgasbord. But I don't feel like trying to figure out how dumb Bucky is when he talks about other teams. So this is it for now. I'm sure we'll get plenty more stupidity before the week is out.
You've heard the rhetoric numerous times over the past two-plus years, how the talent is there even when the goals are not,
Maybe because the talent is there, they've just been trying to develop their own identity after the team decided to invest in its youth instead of overpaying aging veterans with deteriorating skills. Maybe?
how every player endures scoring droughts, how they squeeze their sticks before eventually coming around.
Actually, I haven't heard this rhetoric numerous times. In fact, Lindy doesn't really hesitate to call his guys out when he feels like he has to. You know where I have heard this rhetoric though? In the Buffalo News. From you. Remember? When you said it was OK for Tim Kennedy to not score goals because he was on a defensive line that was very good at preventing them and preventing goals is just as important as scoring them? Do you remember that?
Zzzzzzzz. Say it often enough and long enough, and it eventually becomes the truth.
Hmm. Apparently not.
But it wasn't a good sign when Blackhawks grunt Dustin Byfuglien had eight goals, one more than Thomas Vanek had, going into the weekend. Or that Islanders rookie John Tavares, Blue Jackets plumber Raffi Torres and, yes, Thrashers winger Maxim Afinogenov each had nine — the same number that Derek Roy and Jason Pominville had combined.
Alright, if we're playing this game, Thomas Vanek has as many goals as Alex Kotalik and Chris Drury combined. Vanek is also currently has more goals than Joe Thornton and Shane Doan. And Alexander Frolov. Also, you are never allowed to complain about Maxim Afinogenov's production at any point from now until the end of all time.
Yikes.
What's with the "yikes"? Did you finish writing that last paragraph and then realize "Hey, it's really stupid comparing scoring paces 25 games into the season?" You did? Awesome! Progress!
The Sabres have $22.7 million locked into their five-highest paid forwards and through the first 22 games this season they combined for a grand total of 24 goals. It's not exactly the bargain they had in mind for Black Friday.
That's not a pretty hard cap hit, considering what other teams are blowing on their five highest paid forwards. I assume that's the bargain you're talking about, right? Because otherwise I don't understand the Black Friday reference. Once again, the Sabres won on Black Friday. Four goals. Against the Flyers.
In a financial sense, their best players have been their worst.
If that's the case, Montreal and the Rangers (but for Marian Gaborik, whose groin is due to explode any day now) have much worse "best" players.
It needs to change for the playoffs — which bounce from a given one week to a fantasy the next — to remain in reach.
Shenanigans. At no point were the Sabres out of playoff position, even during their absolutely "horrendous" 0-3-1 stretch. Not only do the playoffs remain very much in reach, but if the Sabres simply continue their pace from November they should do no worse than the sixth seed. Perhaps a few crude projections will shed some light here. Buffalo was 7-5-1 in November. Respectable, but by no means torrid. They finished the month with 32 points, and sole possession of the Northeast Division lead. Now, if they maintain that 7-5-1 pace, that projects out to approximately 98 points for the season. Solidly within any playoff bracket. If Buffalo manages to up their pace by one more point (7-4-2 instead of 7-5-1), we're looking at approximately 103 points, or a likely fourth seed. Is this an exact science? No. Can things change? Absolutely. But even with Buffalo's "terrible" week in November which caused you to immediately doubt their ability to play hockey at any kind of professional level ever again (because you're stupid), Buffalo maintained a very strong playoff pace. Got it? Good.
Vanek is making $6.4 million this season, which is $1.6 million less than he was pocketing in the front-loaded $50 million deal he signed while pointing the proverbial tommy gun at the Sabres' collective temple.
This is actually good news. Vanek's cap hit is still pretty high, but now that his actual salary is coming down, we have the opportunity to invest in some young talent, or perhaps give another front loaded contract to a free agent this offseason. Don't forget Chicago's going to have to have a huge firesale to clear space for the players they were supposed to sign weeks ago but still haven't re-upped.
Whether he's injured or disinterested, the pop has been missing almost all season.
But, he leads the team in goals. Does that count for anything?
Tim Connolly
I guess not, since we simply moved in to start whipping Bucky's Least Favorite Sabre.
is making $4.5 million this season, a $1 million raise per year after appearing in about one-third of the games under his previous contract.
A fair criticism. Now, I'm sure you'll point out that Connolly has been in the lineup for each and every single Sabres game this season.
The Sabres insisted he was their guy. But, really, he's the same player who has possessed great talent and produced mediocre results.
Or ignore that fact entirely. He is the Sabres' guy. And is turning into a pretty wise investment, as he leads the team is assists and points. And is scoring at a pace just off a point per game. So, really, I'm looking for the mediocre results of which you speak.
Connolly had one goal in 16 games before his best performance of the season, two goals and two assists against Philadelphia.
During that 16 game stretch, Tim Kennedy had no goals. In fact, up through Philadelphia, Tim Kennedy only had one goal in 22 games. Why the double standard?
OK, so he improved to three goals in 17 games.
By comparison, Tim Kennedy2 now has two goals in 24 games. Again, I'm waiting for the explanation of the double standard. Is it based on Connolly's salary? His experience? What? All I know is we're supposed to love Tim Kennedy, who scores at a much slower rate than Tim Connolly, who leads the team in points. I haven't been given a single valid reason for this yet, sir.
He's had his usual flashes of brilliance, confirming he's able but not always willing.
His brilliance is only flashing? What? And his inconsistent goal scoring (which is a far cry from his markedly consistent point production, which means Connolly is helping generate goals, which is kind of important in terms of playing successful hockey I hear) "confirms" he's not willing to play well? Do me a favor. Start reading your columns out loud before submitting them. Maybe then you'll realize how dumb this all sounds. We certainly can't rely on your editor.
Pominville is pocketing Connolly money, getting Clarke MacArthur results.
MacArthur's playing pretty well this season.
Last season was dismissed as a poor year from a good player, but this year has been much the same. In part, his production (five goals) was down because the Sabres lack a power-play quarterback, taking him from the wing. It's also because he's been spending too much time on the perimeter at even strength.
Is this his fault? Or is Lindy not putting Pommers in a position to be successful? Both are equally plausible explanations, yet I have to guess which it is. Thanks.
Jochen Hecht
Oh god...
is making $3.8 million and had four points, putting him on pace for seven goals and 15 points, while averaging more than 16 minutes. Nobody on the team who has played every game has fewer points.
You know who on the team has played the same number of games as Hecht and produced the exact same number of points with half the goals? I'll give you a hint. It rhymes with "Shim Shmennedy." Who, I might add, skates on Hecht's line. Which I was told is not designed to score goals, but rather prevent them. Seeing how the Sabres currently lead the league in goals against, apparently Hecht is playing his role to a T.
Roy, making $3.5 million, needed 11 games to score his first goal, buried four goals in his next five games, fell silent for the next six.
I'm confused. Doesn't this actually prove the exact thesis you present in the opening paragraph? The one you didn't really dispute, but hung out there as a pathetic excuse? Even though you relied on it yourself not two weeks ago?
It's one thing to make big money, another thing to earn it.
This is surprisingly apt. It's one thing to make big money (or whatever money, hopefully it isn't big) writing about sports professionally. It's another thing to earn it by being reliable, accurate, and consistent.
1 - "The Sabres he doesn't like" obviously consists of all the Sabres except for Tyler Myers, Tim Kennedy, and Patrick Kaleta.
2 - I feel like at this point I need another disclaimer. I am actually a Sabres fan. When I follow my sports teams, I prefer to be a bit childlike in that I'll like the guy simply for putting on a Sabres' sweater. I like Kennedy. I know he's young. He's getting some good reviews, but also going through some growing pains. Same goes for Tyler Myers (a team leader in ice time, generating a lot of points from the blue line; embarrassing mistakes like essentially giving Max Afinogenov and Matt Cullen free goals). I'm excited about these guys. But I'm also excited about all the Sabres, including Tim Connolly, who I consider to actually be quite amazing, especially when he gets the puck (one of the "brilliant flashes" was when he froze two Panthers in their skates and then skated through two more during their 6-2 loss--such a hockey play should be criminal). It just happens to be that Bucky is so wildly inconsistent in his analysis, without ever giving any kind of reason, that it drives me crazy. So, unfortunately, Tim Kennedy becomes my whipping boy because we're told to love what he does, which isn't very much when juxtaposed with what the other guys are doing. OK, I feel better.
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