One thing I've noticed that I've been trying to adjust to of late is that I'm not in college anymore. I know it seems silly as I graduated a solid five years ago (hurts a little to say that, not gonna lie), but I've only been done with school overall since 2007. Anyways, it's not being in school it's more that during those twenty years of continuous, if at times painful, education I got used to getting extended leaves and fresh starts every few months or so.
College only had to sustain my attention and commitment for three months before it was all over, then the semester closed, I got a month off (at least) and got to start from scratch. There was always a change on the horizon, be it intersession, summer, or the beginning of a new semester. This wasn't without it's troubles (I used to--I am not making this up--panic outright at the beginning of every semester because I was afraid I was going to fail miserably), but I always knew that whatever was going on wouldn't last long before it was time for something new.
Even after I finally graduated from law school, that reality remained. There was always a big change to brace for. First it was bar review, then the bar exam. Then trying to fill the gap of employment while I was hunting for a job. All the while, of course, I was getting ready for our wedding. Plus, since the job hunt went agonizingly long I was always on that edge of "Hey, maybe next week it'll all be different."
As my job hunt was ending, though I wasn't entirely aware of it at the time, we put the house up for sale and enjoyed that delightful experience. After selling it three times, we finally had committed buyers (so committed, in fact, that as far as we can tell the house is almost the same as it was when we moved out). In the meantime we were house-shopping, only to get so fed up with all the existing homes in our price range that we expanded our price range and built a new one.
So, I finally found a good (well, great) job (helloooo, new job stress!). But now we're also finally moving, twice over two months. Plus new home prep work. That finally settles, but instead of kicking back and relaxing it was time to get ready for Drew.
Then, in the natural course of things, Drew arrived.
So, to take a very brief look at the last 36 months there was: an engagement, graduation, bar review, bar exam, job hunt, wedding, house sale, new job, house purchase, pregnancy, baby boy.
What does this all mean? It's really weird to be at a place where I'm really just riding things out. With all of that settled, I'm at a point where there is, perhaps at long last, no major event on the horizon. Nothing to get to, experience, and move forward. Not to say I'm going to spend the next couple years unchallenged, bored, and uninterested. Far from it, as every day with a newborn and infant brings with it something new. It's just odd to have to switch gears from "there's always a big change up ahead" to "keep on keepin' on."
It's not a bad thing, just something I've become aware of as I finally checked all those big deals off my "To Do" list. Perhaps now is the time kick back and enjoy what it took to get here? Instead of worrying about where I'm going next? If so, I'm not really sure I know how to do that. After nearly a decade of wondering where I wanted to go next, and what I needed to do to get there, it's weird to be "there." Huh.
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