smorgasbord!

The beauty of Bucky's Sunday columns is that he takes the opportunity to write, in bulleted form, about many different topics. Whatever happens to be on his mind. Of course, as per usual, he's generally wrong. For whatever reason, this week's edition wasn't published until Monday.

The Little League World Series will begin later this month, taking its place on national television and reminding us about the fundamentals of baseball. Every year players look bigger and stronger, throw harder, hit farther. It's either that or advanced equipment.

Seeing as how most of those kids are like 19 and playing with phony birth certificates, I'm going to go with the players being "bigger and stronger, throw[ing] harder, hit[ting] farther." But what advanced equipment are you referring to?

If the Williamsport, Pa.-based governing body for Little League wanted to take the lead on youth baseball for the sake of safety, it would implement rules making wood bats, or the equivalent, mandatory on all levels. They're inviting a tragedy with the titanium bats that create a trampoline effect when hitting a ball.

OK, so metal bats make the kids hit the ball farther. Check. Now how are they bigger, stronger, and throwing harder? [Hint: he doesn't say, he just wanted to complain about the bats.]

EDIT: After rereading this particular section I noticed something else that left me confused. Wood bats "or the equivalent" would become mandatory? What's "equivalent?" Bamboo? Pergo? And while it may be true that baseball "invites" tragedy with titanium bats, I think it's a bit truer to say that when a guy is clubbing a hard projectile (with speeds in the 70s and 80s) with a stick (be that stick metal, wood, or wood's "equivalent") tragedy, of the highest level, is being "invited." Just ask the Coolbaugh family.

If the technology existed to put bats on steroids, equipment can certainly be toned down.

Um, what? Attention all English professors: if you happen to be looking for an example of a classic incomprehensible non-sequitur, well, you're welcome. Moving on...

Maxim Afinogenov led the Sabres in scoring with 73 points during the 2005-06 season, when they reached the conference finals,

Any time anybody wants to bitch about Max, they should be required to preface each and every clause of each sentence with this fact. In 05-06 Max had 73 points in 77 games, which works about to about 77 over the course of 82 games. J.P. Dumont (to pick a random former Sabre that nobody harps on at all ever) that same year? 40 points in 54 games, or roughly 60 points over 82 games. In 06-07 Dumont had 65 points in 82 games, Max had 61 in 56 games. I'm not saying Max's play didn't steadily (and rapidly) deteriorate the last two years, I am saying that blaming the front office in 2009 for a decision that made sense in 2007 is stupid.

Nobody wanted him last summer or at the trade deadline last season. Apparently, the lack of interest had less to do with his $3.5 million contract and more to do with his ineffectiveness.

So perhaps it's time to stop harping on how the Sabres didn't move him last summer or at the deadline last season? Maybe? Please? Moving on...

Brett Favre spent months teasing the Vikings before announcing last week that he would stay retired from football, but it sounded more like he was retiring from training camp. Favre doesn't need two-a-day workouts and three weeks in a college dorm to take over an offense,

Unfortunately, Brett Favre is 40 years old and needs, like, four-a-day workouts to stay well enough in shape to survive an NFL season. But, hey, bringing in a 40+ QB midway through the season is a surefire way to secure your Super Bowl ring. Which is why Vinny Testaverde has so many. Moving on...

Just a guess, but I would imagine Brad Faxon, who is 230th on the money list with $36,442 this year, wished he had Tiger Woods' problems.

Did Brad Faxon go over to Bucky's house and kick his dog or something? Seriously. This is the only thing Bucky wrote about him, and I couldn't find anything linking Brad Faxon to Tiger Woods recently. Moving on...

Matthew Stafford's contract with the Lions included $41.7 million in guaranteed money. Mark Sanchez became the highest-paid player in Jets' history with a five-year deal worth $50.5 million. Neither player has taken an NFL snap. For the umpteenth time, the NFL needs a hard NHL-style salary cap for rookies.

Or, I don't know, NFL owners and GMs could stop throwing money into draft pick garbage cans and lighting it on fire. I'm not saying these deals are reasonable, I am saying that (much like the salary cap crises throughout the NHL right now) the problem here is one created by the very people complaining about it.